Life and Faith

Once a year, Tim takes a bike trip that sends my prayers and my faith into a dither. Our church holds a church picnic out at Tilikum, our church camp. For whatever reason, Tim always likes to ride his bike out there. When the kids were littler, and could still fit in the bike trailer, he would take one or two of them along with him. I always hate that ride.

The last few miles of this trip to the camp is on a two-lane road with NO shoulder....lots of hills and valleys that leaves a very short sight distance. When I come after Tim in the van with all the stuff for a day at the camp, I take the path that he would ride just in case something happens. And that is where my faith gets a little unnerved. I have horrible visions of coming to the top of a hill, or rounding a corner to see Tim mangled along side the road. My visions were really horrible when he would have the kids with him. So...every year, as Tim prepares for this trip, I plead with him not to go. And every year, he just smiles at me as he takes off on his bike. And for a couple of hours, I'm just sick until I see that he is well and whole at the other end.

Today, I am leaving on a trip. A very long trip. I will be spending a total of approximately 48 hours, over the next week, in a van on my way to Mexico. I haven't even begun to calculate how many miles that will be....because that just feels overwhelming. The hours alone just about makes me squirm out of my seat!!

For the most part, I am excited about this trip. I last went on a service trip to Mexico back when I was in college. It really was an amazing experience. I loved every minute of it. Even though I dread the long hours in the van, I truly believe that it is going to be an amazing trip. I am excited to see what God is going to do on this trip, not only in my own life, but also in the lives of the kids that are going. It is going to be cool to see things on the other side of this week.

Then there is the other side of my heart. In the ten years that I have been a mom, I have never left my kids for this long. The very practical side of me tells me that they will have a wonderful time celebrating Spring Break with my parents, my sister, and her family. I'm a little jealous of their time together this coming week....but then I remember that the only reason this came together is because I am leaving the country!!! No fair! In all that though, there is this side of me that is terrified that in all those many, many hours on the road, that there will be an accident that will take me away from my family.

I know. I know. Faith is required here. But just because I have faith does not mean that tragic things won't happen. I also know that heaven is far more wonderful than anything here on earth. But to imagine my kids going through life with a loss as tragic as losing a parent....that sucks. Kids lose their moms all the time. There is no guarantee that I will make it back to my family. I could go on....but I'm not helping myself here.

As my time of departure draws nearer...(I leave in 2 hours!!)....I just pray a little more for the safety of our trip. I pray for my kids that they will have a week full of great memories. I hug my kids a little tighter....munch on them a little more often....and hope that it all holds us over until I come home again.

Adios, mis amigos!! I hope to have a fabulous update in a little over a week. Most likely I will shower first....and then post!!

Happy Spring Break!