The tending of Patience.

I'm finding I'm not a very patient person. 

Okay.  Wait.  I already knew that.

I guess I just long to be patient.  Actually, patience is suppose to be a fruit of the Spirit.  You know.....Love.  Joy.  Peace.  PATIENCE.

*sigh*

I hope that in some areas of my life that I have learned patience.  Yet, in the depths of my heart there is one area in which patience is not there.  Or at least it doesn't exist there naturally.  I must plant it, cultivate it, trim back the errant growth of worry and anxiety, I must continually nurture patience.

I don't know how to label that place of my heart.  It is the place that I wait for God to move.  To act.  To reveal Himself.  I think of the years that I have prayed and pleaded for God to move over Luke and his struggles with learning.  The verses that God would lay upon my heart would be things like: 
  
 “Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10

^"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Granted, God gave me many other verses that tended my heart; but, He hasn't chosen to remove dyslexia from my son.  He HAS given me resources, but He hasn't moved to remove. And I struggle.  I would love to say that I've got it all under control.  We've got a plan, we've got helps, we've got....and yet I must still Be Still and let God work His plan in Luke's life.  It is that tending of patience.  Weeding.  Pruning. 

Now, I'm in another place where I must tend patience in my life.  A terrible diagnosis in someone I love dearly.  I've done my fair share, in the short days since discovery, of pleading and begging for removal.  I war with my thoughts, demanding that the diagnosis, the cause, be removed.  CURE IT NOW. 

And yet I know: It will be long.  It will be a battle.  It won't be pretty.  And I must wait.  All I can do is pray.  And wait. 

Patience, my child.  Patience.