Rollercoasters

I used to think I liked rollercoasters. I used to think I was one of the cool kids. Bring it on!   I was wrong. So. Very. Wrong. 

A few years ago, we went as a family to Silverwood. I tagged along with my daughter and my niece and we hit all the big coasters.  Looking back on it, I don’t think I liked any of them. I kept trying them, thinking this one would be different. Of course, they weren’t.  I should have been a better wife and let my husband hang with the girls while I hung with the child who had a fear of heights.  We both would have been so much happier. 

As I think about that, I shouldn’t have been surprised that I didn’t really like the big coasters. Several years before, I convinced Tim I wanted to go sky diving. My friend had done it and she loved it. I was convinced I’d love it too.  So we jumped out of a perfectly good airplane! When  I finally caught my breath after the acceleration ripped it right out of my lungs, the only part I really enjoyed was when the parachute finally caught and I could stare in awe at the beauty from so high up as we floated back to earth.  

Face it, Christine.  You are not a thrill seeker or an adrenaline junky.

Yet, I love heights. I love the fantastic view from the top of Mt. St. Helens. I love wind whipping my hair at the top of the Astoria Column. I absolutely adored the calm, peaceful floats in a hot air balloon. I was totally in awe of the sights from the top of Masada in Israel.  Give me those kind of thrills.  

Sometimes, my spiritual/emotional recovery is a bit like that rollercoaster…..and I want off!  The last day or so, I feel like I took a dive off the edge. Not. A. Fan. That dive on a real coaster really does nothing good for me. Puts my body in panic mode. Every part of my body holds its collective breath until something catches and the free fall ends. 

Several years ago, my friend took me along on some hikes.  We did some amazing hikes that summer. I loved it so much. We started small. Stopped often. Admired the flowers and the wildlife along the way. As we hiked, we got stronger, braver and more trail savvy. We started doing bigger and longer hikes. Then we started inviting others along with us, sharing big, beautiful summits C together.  Beautiful views. Beautiful friends. Beautiful memories. 

Time for a shift in Perspective.  I’m getting off the roller coaster.  I’m strapping on my hiking boots and I’m setting off for the glorious summit of recovery.  No more crazy, gut-dropping, screaming dives.   I’m pressing on, slow and steady. Up this little hill. Down a smidge. A gentle curve here. A little off-road climbing there. Don’t give up. Keep going. Watch that root. No tripping! Just a few more steps.  Ah….the view.  Glorious. Well done! 

 

But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14