This is a topic that I have been thinking a lot about the last couple of days. I often think that God puts a thought in my head for a reason. Okay...I understand that. What to do with that topic and how to apply it to myself, I'm not sure. Especially when I think about my own personality.
Not pretty.
I have two sons. Beautiful boys, both of them. And talented, too. God gave them to me as a gift...and they are gifted. (Ok...I'm their Mom, I can say that!) After the second one was born, God gave me a verse for him....that I know applies to him...as well as his brother and sister. For that matter, I suppose that it applies to me, as well.
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
I've been reminded of this verse a lot this last month. It is my hope, right now. But, I digress.
As I said, my two sons are precious to me. I find them to be priceless treasures in my life. And they are so vastly different. I am amazed that two little boys that look so much alike....can be so very different. I had someone in the store last week ask me if they were twins. Okay...they look a like...but
not that much!!
My oldest son is a sharp little man. He can be so serious and so focused. On the soccer field, he has the focus unlike any other boy on the field. Some are busy looking at the crowds, the clouds, and prancing around like the testosterone-flooded men they will become. Caden, he's a rock. With that seriousness comes a drive for perfection. Sort of. In some ways. That trait never quite plays out in the areas his mother would prefer. Life, for him, should be just as he ordered it. His morning toast, toasted and buttered just so. Snack provided at just the right time. Things learned and accomplished at the expected rate. Unfortunately, the down side to trait, is that when things don't go his way, it is the end of the world. For him. My prayer for him, is his glass won't always be half empty.
In some ways, Luke is like his brother. He has focus.....when he wants to. To Luke, everything is an adventure. He finds joy in just about anything that comes his way. Sometimes, I see him get a little bogged down with the injustices of life...but usually that is a quick storm for the next adventure waits just around the corner. He is the life of the party...and is quick to reach out to others and get them involved in his schemes. For Luke, his glass is almost always half full.
This is where I got thinking about personalities and grace. Luke extends grace so much quicker than his brother. Granted, he is only 6 and his revenge can be extended just as quickly!! But, usually the offense is over fairly quickly. He can be mad as dickens at me one moment, and the next be wrapping his arms around me and telling me that he loves me.
Grace is a lot slower in coming for Caden. He can dwell on an offense with a focus that is daunting. He is very slow to forget. For instance, his toast wasn't perfect a couple of days ago, and the last couple of mornings, I've been prodded about that. This morning, he just didn't want toast at all and wanted something different. Slow grace.
*sigh*
As I was thinking about my boys and their ability to forgive and extend grace, I wondered how that affects their being able to experience and express the grace of God. As much as I hate to admit it, my personality is a lot like Caden's. I can remember an offense for a long, long time. Wounds from others stick with me with a menacing tenacity. I even struggle with extending grace to myself for the stupid, very human, mistakes that I do.
Sometimes, I even find it hard to accept God's grace. I have always heard that it is prideful to think that God isn't able to handle our depravity. I know that God can handle it....I just doubt my ability to let it go and allow Him to change me. Glass half empty.
*sigh*
So there is where my thoughts have been. Do our personalities affect how easily we can accept God and His gift of Grace? Do some people have an advantage over us pessimists? What is the value in being such a pessimist? I'm sure there are lessons in there somewhere that I have yet to uncover. Right now, I'm in the "That Stinks" phase of it. I want the Old Self to be gone instead of being an aching thorn in my side.
And then this week, at BSF, I was reminded that our faith is a continual process and expansion. Never on this earth will we be at the end of our adventure with Jesus. I haven't yet reconciled that battle of that being a comforting idea....or a very discouraging idea.
And so it goes.
