Weekend Happenings: Holiday Style

We had a busy weekend. (I kind of chuckle when I write that...as life always seems to be busy these days!) Lots of Christmas Season events.

Thursday night was spent watching Daria and Luke perform in their school's Winter Program. Our school is getting big enough that only half the school participated in the Winter Program. The other half of the school will perform in the Spring. Caden had fun sitting with me watching his siblings perform.

Their program this year was called "The Case for the December Symbols." It was staged like a court room and each symbol for the December Holidays stated their "case" as to why they were the greatest symbol. It was really well done and thus the kids were able to do a Nativity and sing Christmas carols. Fabulous!!

We were sitting in the wrong spot to get a good picture of Luke, but you can see him peeking out just over the shoulder of Judge Jessie!


Daria played the Menorah. (Now you come up with a Menorah costume. oh my!!!)



They did a wonderful job.

The kids also participated in their church Christmas program too. It was fun to see at least 2 of the 3 actually sing. I did see Luke's lips move a little....debatable if he actually sang though!!


I hate to say it...but I kind of thought that Luke looked like a girl! It didn't help the matter any that he was the only boy up there during his age groups songs! He was still pretty cute, though.

We also finally got our tree this weekend too. I was hoping to post some pictures...but the program isn't letting me. I'll try and add them in another post. I'm glad our busy weekend is over....but looking ahead to my busy week doesn't give me much hope of rest. I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve when all the bussle is done and the true celebration of being with family begins.

Thankful Thursday

Give Thanks with a Grateful Heart.

Ah. It has been a long time since I posted me a Thankful Thursday post. It's about time I got back into the practice of it.

Today, and everyday, I am thankful for:

• Our health. For a couple of weeks there, I thought for sure I would never have a healthy family again. But, God is good...and my kids and I are healthy once again. Then when I think of others battling life threatening diseases, I am thankful that all we suffered from was the flu and a bout of strep. God is good.

• For my family. They really are treasures to me. Each one is a unique person with unique gifts; and, each one fills a unique place in my life. God is good.

• My Moms In Touch friends. With kids being sick and Thanksgiving, I missed attending our group for a few weeks. Today, as I prayed with my friends, I was reminded what a blessing this group is in my life...and the life of my children. God is good.

In everything, Give Thanks.

Gifts, Promises, and Ingestion

Gifts are fun to receive. I'm not sure there is anything better than to see a package under the Christmas tree. It is even more exciting when I see that the package has my name on it!! I even get a little thrill when I get a package in the mail...and it doesn't even have to be a birthday gift. A package with something I ordered on line is just as exciting.

In my BSF lessons this week, the discussion was on the verses in John 6 where Jesus says that we must eat His flesh and drink His blood if we want to experience eternal life. Having been raised in the church, I don't find this particular set of verses all that disturbing...until you start dissecting it and really start thinking about the literal thought behind. Really, to eat someone's flesh and blood would actually be kind of gross.

I loved the word picture here that our leader discussed today. It really placed a new emphasis on an old thought for me. Most cultures talk about taking information in and digesting it. We talk about devouring a good book. Or we digest a new piece of information. We ingest a new thought, we chew it over, and we assimilate (or not ) it into our thought banks. This is the very way in which we must accept Jesus and His truths. We ingest His truth. We chew it over...and then we swallow it.....we accept it. We assimilate it into our whole selves. Acceptance.

Sometimes I feel like I take Jesus' truths and they just sit on my tongue for just a moment. I've discovered this cool new medicine for my kids when they have colds. The medicine is in these thin strips. They place it on their tongues...take a sip of water....and POOF...its gone. Best modern day invention....ever. (At least from this Mom's point of view.) Do I take Jesus' truths like that sometimes....letting it only sit on my tongue for a moment before...POOF...its gone from my mind? Unfortunately, I'd have to say that is true more times than I would like to admit.

The one truth that I have had the hardest time ingesting lately, is the truth that God made me a promise. That promise is at least 5 years old. In the last year, I have forgotten that promise over and over. Lately, God has been reminding me that He made me a promise. God even gave me a verse that basically said that He made me a promise and I will fulfill it. I'm having trouble finding that verse but I hope to find it and post it soon.

Today, God reminded me of His promise with a precious gift. I woke this morning with the skies so dark. That is my least favorite part of Oregon winters. As I was sitting in the sanctuary of a beautiful church this morning, I watched the sun play beautiful lights through the stained glass windows. It has been one of my favorite parts of that church building. Then I noticed. The light was playing on me. There is something about the bright sunshine shining in my face that instantly lifts my spirit. I noticed it right in the middle of the discussion about ingesting God's word and making it a part of us.

God's gift...His promises. Ingest it, Christine, chew it up, and swallow it.

WhatIf?

At the beginning of the school year, Daria's teacher had a fun writing exercise. It is a WhatIf poem. The way it started and ended really spoke to me. The object was to write one real concern followed by a rhyming silly concern following the opening introduction. I had thought about writing my own WhatIf poem, but never got around to it. It may become a regular feature on my blog as I attempt to get back into the habit of writing. I miss it.

I really enjoyed Daria's WhatIf poem. I wanted to "publish" it back at the beginning of the year. I kept waiting...and waiting...for it to come home. Tonight, Daria placed a stack of papers on the counter to be recycled. I decided to see if there was anything in there that I wanted to keep. There, in that pile of recyclables, was Daria's What If poem. So here it is:

Last night, while I lay thinking here,
Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear
And pranced and partied all night long
They sang their old Whatif song:

Whatif I don't do good in school?
Whatif I turn into a fool?
Whatif I get laughed at?
Whatif I get hit by a bat?
Whatif my teacher does not care?
Whatif I get chased by a bear?
Whatif I forgot my things?
Whatif Santa fails in all he brings?
Whatif I slip in the mud while I play?
Whatif the boogey man is here to stay?
Whatif our class becomes one girl less?
Whatif my room stays a mess?
Whatif I don't finish my homework on time?
Whatif eating ice cream was a crime?
Whatif I forgot my lunch?
Whatif marshmallows made a big crunch?
Whatif my mom forgets to pick me up?
Whatif a mouse ate a buttercup?
Whatif I get sick?
Whatif I jump to the ceiling and stick?

Everything seems swell, and then
The nighttime Whatif stricks again!
by Daria Brandt

Personalities Continued

God has often been described as the Hound of Heaven. Hounds are interesting dogs. Known for their hunting and tracking abilities. Thus, you could think of God as a unrelenting Pursuer of your Heart. If He wants you, He'll go to great lengths to get you.

There is a lot about my personality that I have found lacking. I'm not one of those sparkly people that lights up the room when I enter. I'm not overly charming and polite. I'm not so charismatic that people are drawn to me and remember me for my wit. As I alluded to yesterday, I really am quite the royal pessimist and it plays out not so great in my personality. In fact, sometimes I find my personality down right ugly. There are many aspects of it that I wish God would go ahead and change already.

*sigh*

Funny that I have been thinking about personality lately. Actually, God is quite funny. I've just recently been attending Bible Study Fellowship. We are studying the Gospel of John. Today we have been studying the first 5 verses:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through Him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it.

Along with Colossians 1:16:

For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

We were asked to find additional information in the Colossians verse that was not in the John verses. One of the things that I focused on that all things were created by him....for him. Then I was struck by the next question in our study: "How does this relate to all true fulfillment of human personality?"

I think I read that question a half a dozen times. As I thought about all of my answers, I really wasn't sure...except the "created by him and for him." Did they really mean my personality? I suppose they did since God has been making me dwell on how personalities accept grace.

It is probably going to take a while for me to fully grasp that God made my personality. And He made it for Him.

There's a lot there.

Personalities and Grace

This is a topic that I have been thinking a lot about the last couple of days. I often think that God puts a thought in my head for a reason. Okay...I understand that. What to do with that topic and how to apply it to myself, I'm not sure. Especially when I think about my own personality.

Not pretty.

I have two sons. Beautiful boys, both of them. And talented, too. God gave them to me as a gift...and they are gifted. (Ok...I'm their Mom, I can say that!) After the second one was born, God gave me a verse for him....that I know applies to him...as well as his brother and sister. For that matter, I suppose that it applies to me, as well.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

I've been reminded of this verse a lot this last month. It is my hope, right now. But, I digress.

As I said, my two sons are precious to me. I find them to be priceless treasures in my life. And they are so vastly different. I am amazed that two little boys that look so much alike....can be so very different. I had someone in the store last week ask me if they were twins. Okay...they look a like...but not that much!!

My oldest son is a sharp little man. He can be so serious and so focused. On the soccer field, he has the focus unlike any other boy on the field. Some are busy looking at the crowds, the clouds, and prancing around like the testosterone-flooded men they will become. Caden, he's a rock. With that seriousness comes a drive for perfection. Sort of. In some ways. That trait never quite plays out in the areas his mother would prefer. Life, for him, should be just as he ordered it. His morning toast, toasted and buttered just so. Snack provided at just the right time. Things learned and accomplished at the expected rate. Unfortunately, the down side to trait, is that when things don't go his way, it is the end of the world. For him. My prayer for him, is his glass won't always be half empty.

In some ways, Luke is like his brother. He has focus.....when he wants to. To Luke, everything is an adventure. He finds joy in just about anything that comes his way. Sometimes, I see him get a little bogged down with the injustices of life...but usually that is a quick storm for the next adventure waits just around the corner. He is the life of the party...and is quick to reach out to others and get them involved in his schemes. For Luke, his glass is almost always half full.

This is where I got thinking about personalities and grace. Luke extends grace so much quicker than his brother. Granted, he is only 6 and his revenge can be extended just as quickly!! But, usually the offense is over fairly quickly. He can be mad as dickens at me one moment, and the next be wrapping his arms around me and telling me that he loves me.

Grace is a lot slower in coming for Caden. He can dwell on an offense with a focus that is daunting. He is very slow to forget. For instance, his toast wasn't perfect a couple of days ago, and the last couple of mornings, I've been prodded about that. This morning, he just didn't want toast at all and wanted something different. Slow grace.

*sigh*

As I was thinking about my boys and their ability to forgive and extend grace, I wondered how that affects their being able to experience and express the grace of God. As much as I hate to admit it, my personality is a lot like Caden's. I can remember an offense for a long, long time. Wounds from others stick with me with a menacing tenacity. I even struggle with extending grace to myself for the stupid, very human, mistakes that I do.

Sometimes, I even find it hard to accept God's grace. I have always heard that it is prideful to think that God isn't able to handle our depravity. I know that God can handle it....I just doubt my ability to let it go and allow Him to change me. Glass half empty.

*sigh*

So there is where my thoughts have been. Do our personalities affect how easily we can accept God and His gift of Grace? Do some people have an advantage over us pessimists? What is the value in being such a pessimist? I'm sure there are lessons in there somewhere that I have yet to uncover. Right now, I'm in the "That Stinks" phase of it. I want the Old Self to be gone instead of being an aching thorn in my side.

And then this week, at BSF, I was reminded that our faith is a continual process and expansion. Never on this earth will we be at the end of our adventure with Jesus. I haven't yet reconciled that battle of that being a comforting idea....or a very discouraging idea.

And so it goes.

Shame: a painful emotion resulting from an awareness of inadequacy or guilt.

Shame:

• destroys
• corrodes
• weakens
• persists
• immobilizes
• weighs down
  

I could go on.

I can't.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering 
Though there's pain in the offering 
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Under My Porch

Sometimes, when we spend time at my parents' house, my dad will have a project for the kids to work on. One year, it was bird houses. So, way up in a couple of our trees, we have a couple of brightly colored bird houses. One of them is right outside our front window, so I can see it pretty easily. In all this time, I don't think any bird has ever taken a fancy to one of our brightly colored homes. I thought maybe once I saw a bird fly out....but I think I was mistaken. The fact there no one ever adopted our beautiful homes has often been a disappointment and a puzzlement to my kids.

This year, we discovered a fun little surprise under our porch. Tim noticed one day that a bird had made a nest on the support beam. It was the day that I noticed that I thought I saw evidence of moles in our yards, that Tim told me about the nest. Why??? Because that precious little bird made her nest right on top of Tim's mole trap. Crazy little bird.
If you notice the blue object in the picture, that is the trap. I've been spooked a couple of times when I have walked into the back yard when the Mama Bird has flown away. With the amount of time, and the craziness of our play in the yard, I've wondered if we had chased the Mama away. Apparently, we hadn't.

I asked Tim to take a couple of pictures the other day so that I could post them here on my blog. To our surprise, the Mama must have been feeding them when he went out because those little buggers were sticking their heads out good. We think there might be 5 of them in there. You can count for yourself.

They are soooooo cute. We've peeked a couple of times through the cracks from the top of the deck, and those babies are so still. I'm amazed. It must be a defensive thing. I'm also amazed that Mama Bird can even get in that nest. It looks crammed!!

Anyway, that is our fun Spring find this year. Not in our beautiful bird houses....but under our porch, perched on our mole trap.

Cool, huh?

Ending of a Good Saturday

One of the things that I love about school being out is that there isn't the push to get the kids into bed. There is liberty. But it also means that we tend to be a little more tired sometimes. Especially when we feel a need to wake up on "school time" rather than on "summer time."

Since school was out on Thursday, the kids have had a pretty busy social schedule. Thursday night was the End of the School Year party at school. After spending the whole evening partying, they were up until after 10:00 that night. Friday night, Daria had a friend sleep over and we stayed up to watch Sound of Music until after 10:30. Then Saturday, they were up on their "school schedule," off to Caden's final indoor game for this session.

We came home, ate some lunch, and went on a bike ride, played at creek for a while and came home. Apparently it was a long day. Since we had Sound of Music checked out from the library, and it had "bonus features," I chose to hide away and watch some of them while the boys crashed in the living room watching TV. I came out around dinner time to see what everyone wanted to eat. This is what I found:




Each little man was sacked out in their little space. Tim wanted me to believe that he wasn't asleep, but I don't believe him. By the time I got the camera around to him....this is what I got:

Whatever. The turkey.

I guess that is the evidence of a Saturday well spent. Can't get better than that!

School's Out!!

When I was a kid, a school year lasted an eternity. Or so it seemed. As a mother of kids, I blink and the year is gone. In a flash. I swear it was just yesterday that I was delivering them to their first days of Second grade and Fourth Grade. Yesterday, I brought them home as a Third Grader and a Fifth Grader. FIFTH GRADE!!!!! Yikes.

I love the way our school ends the year. They have what they call Stepping Stone ceremonies. It is simply handing them a stone...a note of the year accomplished that steps them up to the next level in life. The teachers do a wonderful job stating to each child of how they noticed growth develop in each child. What a wonderful way to end the year.

It was definitely a proud Mama day for sure.

It was also a bittersweet day for me as well. I couldn't help but mourn again the loss of this school year for Luke. I've had to remind myself over and over again that really we gave him the gift of time and hopefully it will be to his advantage. I know that I need to stop thinking about what should have been...but yesterday that was very hard. I hope that someday I can lay down those nigglings of regret and be completely at peace with our decision.

So now enters Summer. Summer with a Capital S. I have plans for things to be different around here. Things that will hopefully benefit my children...as well as make things easier for me. I am hoping to make memories....proactively instead of waiting for them to happen. I'm praying for a Take Action kind of Summer.

Yep...school's definitely out.

Break My Heart

Even though I have put out posts here and there, really for the last several months, I've been silent. Not really sure why....until recently.

I've lost faith in myself. And today it has hit me like a ton of bricks.

Today should have been Luke's graduation from kindergarten. I know that I shouldn't think of it like that...but I do. I had hoped that when we pulled him from kindergarten...that he would lose his identity to his class. Yet he hasn't. They still notice him....he still notices them. He still calls them his class. He has always known that he was going to finish kindergarten later....but yesterday...he just realized that his class was going to be in 1st grade while he was still in kindergarten. It broke my heart to hear his tears.

His first thought was to ask if he could catch up. At first, I told him that he couldn't...but his tears just got harder. So...I told him that if he worked hard...and never gave up....then maybe he could catch up. He seemed to eventually soak that in. I'm hoping that he really takes it to heart and next year will be different. I'm deathly afraid that next year will be just the same. And then what? I can't keep him in kindergarten forever.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've come to realize that this whole kindergarten fiasco has been the catalyst for so much other stuff in my life. And it all boils down to that loss of faith. Subconsciously, I think I've allowed this to defeat me. Failure seems to be my nemesis. I fear it...so I don't attempt it. I make excuses. I procrastinate far greater than I ever did before. I've lost face with others. I've given up on things that I love because I find that others do it better....so why try. Obligations, of any size, seem to overwhelm me.

I even have failed at being the Tooth Fairy for the last two nights. Ugh.

I'm not sure how to fix it. I know I won't be going to a shrink....even though I probably should. Since I'm starting to realize its roots....I know I'm going to be doing a lot of praying about it. Nothing is impossible with God. Even me. Last night, I started praying that God would give me my words back. I'm hoping for a change.

So...there is my dirty laundry out for all to see. It's hard to hide when its laying right there. I'm anxious to see where God goes from here. In the meantime, I'm off to help my Daria and Caden celebrate their last day of school.

Countdown begins for Luke's re-entrance to school. Lord, help us.

The Results Are In!!

I have been meaning to get on her since yesterday and share the news regarding Daria's soccer tryouts. Just a moment ago, I just had a revelation that I hadn't done that yet!! I have been so busy getting ready to head out of town to a cousin's wedding, that I totally forgot!!

Monday night, after the second round of tryouts, we received a call from the A team coach from Sherwood. DARIA MADE THE TEAM!!!! Daria was so very excited. I came home from a meeting to see her dancing in the doorway. I figured it had to be good news. She so wanted to play for this coach and that was exciting to see her excitement. Tim wanted me to wait until it was "official" before I said anything on my blog. They posted it on the website....so now it is official.

God really is good. I should have known not to fret. If God had granted us peace about not going to Newberg....I should have known that He would have good things in store for Daria. Tim was also able to have a conversation with the coach about our rule of No Sunday Morning Soccer. She said that she could work with that....and it sounded like there may not be many, if any, Sunday morning games. Yeah. That has been such a huge concern for Tim and I and we were relieved to have that discussion with her so early on.

I am so proud of my Girlie. We are excited for the year to come. Below is an action picture that Tim took this last Spring season. She's in the red. Isn't she awesome????

Tryouts

Daria's soccer tryouts started yesterday and continue this afternoon. My poor mind has just been consumed with it. It is honestly driving me nuts. I remember trying out for volleyball when I was a sophomore in high school. I don't remember being that nervous. I think it was because I knew I had a snowball's chance of making the team since they were only choosing 2 from my class.

But now....I feel like Daria has a really good chance. And then on the other hand...I feel like there is no way she'll make it through the political red tape that seems to be surrounding tryouts. I've been having a lot of conversations with God about it these last few days.

When Tim and I were wrestling with the Newberg decision last week, we came away feeling like God had directed us away from that decision. We had a great deal of peace about that. I have to keep reminding myself that being in Sherwood's tryouts was God's best for Daria. (At least in the small world of soccer!!) And yet I feel completely at the mercy now, of the coaches of Sherwood.

If I am honest, what I really want for Daria is for her to be on the "A" team in Sherwood. I want her to be validated in that regard. I know that I'm her mom and just a tad bit prejudice, but I think she is that good. It doesn't help that I don't want the Newberg coach to be able to say: "Ha...told you so. You made the wrong decision!" Oh my human heart is getting way too wrapped up in this Soccer Drama.

Last night, as I was doing my devotions, God was faithful. Isn't that just like God? The devotional that I was reading was so appropriate for my feelings. The author was talking about the difference between "getting what I wanted" and "getting what I needed." When my Moms in Touch friends were praying with me regarding our Newberg decision, we prayed that ultimately what we decided would be best for Daria's character. Maybe what Daria "needs" is not necessarily what I "want."

There is that conflict of "human wants" and "divine wants." So when my prayer jumps to praying that God would honor Daria with a spot on the "A" team, I quickly ask God to ultimately do what is best for Daria's character....what He wants for Daria. And to help me want what He wants...with no regrets.

Thankfully, Daria doesn't seem to echo my internal struggles. Ultimately, she just loves the game and wants to play and have fun. (To win, too, I'm sure!) We were both pleased to see who would be her coach if, by chance, she makes the "A" team. That was good for me to hear her thoughts on that. Neither of us were sure which coach would be the coach for the "B" team, but she seemed okay with that. And that....is an answer to last week's prayer.

Which reminds me again....God is faithful.

Soccer: The Conclusion

I have been so relieved about our decision regarding Daria's soccer, that I haven't even taken the time to blog about it here. Not that my dwindling audience cares all that much....but for future reference, it is good for me to write about the conclusion.

Last week was one difficult week. I hadn't thought about soccer so much EVER in my entire life. I thought about it in the morning. I thought about it at lunch time. I thought about it at dinner time. And all the times in between. Then, Tim would come home, we would get the kids into bed; and, we would talk soccer. Until way too late at night. Ugh. I seriously struggled with the fact that something as inconsequential as soccer was occupying so much of my time, thoughts, and sleep. It's only soccer!!

On Thursday, when I had the nerve to ask my Moms in Touch friends to pray for SOCCER, one of my very wise friends said....it isn't just soccer....its her character, too. Here I was focused on which team would be best for Daria. Would the benefits of playing in another town for another coach outweigh the frustration of commuting her there two times or so a week? In all the hubbub of the decision, I had forgotten the importance of a coach on a child's character.

Ultimately, I am very thankful that God is in control....and that He gives wisdom freely when we ask....when we seek. God is faithful.

I find myself way to wrapped up, at times, in my feelings about Daria's playing. I find myself too caught up in wanting her to be the best....or to have the best for her. I find that I often have to temper my feelings and my thoughts and make sure they line up with what God would want. It is way too easy to get caught up in "the game" that surrounds our soccer world right now. With all that, I found that I wasn't really trusting my feelings in this whole decision. Maybe that is why it consumed me as much as it did. My main prayer last week was that God would give Tim wisdom and direction in this decision. I really felt like his levelheadedness was what was really needed to make the best decision. I felt like this wasn't an emotional decision.

When that coach was wooing us over to his team, he had a lot of nice things to say about Daria. As a mom, I was just eating them up. I think Daria is a good player...and I loved hearing that someone else, who knew the came, thought so too. Who wouldn't want to play for a coach who saw her potential? Even so, at times, during the week, I just felt "off" about the decision to go there. I hesitated to say anything, because I really felt like the decision and leading needed to come from Tim.

I wish that I could adequately describe the many factors that were swirling around last week. I was feeling totally confused....one minute totally on board for a club change. The next minute I would be devastated with the thought of leaving Sherwood. All week long I was like that. Tim seemed totally on board with the switch. Daria, totally loving the things the coach had said, was totally thrilled with the idea too. I just could not grasp why I couldn't find peace with the decision.

As always, God proves that He is right on time. Never late. And rarely early....but right on time. Friday was our deadline for telling the coach our decision. Oh how I hated that deadline. Tim had spent a good deal of time trying to talk to people who knew about this other coach. For some reason, I was desperate for him to talk to someone. Friday dawned...and Tim still hadn't talked with anyone. To me, it seemed like forever, but finally he talked with some people. Crazy boy. He forced me to wait most of the day before he shared with me the information he had found.

Ugh.

I won't go into the details of what we learned. We both came to the conclusion that this wasn't the best decision for our family....or for Daria. While we were talking, it felt like we were dancing around saying that without really saying it. I didn't want to out and out say that. In my mind, I was trusting in Tim's leading for the decision. Anyway, somehow we concluded that. (We are terrible decision makers....even when it is for where we go to dinner!!!)

I cannot even begin to describe the peace that came with that decision. Tim even remarked on it the next morning. I didn't confess that that was what I felt until he confessed first!! (I was so relieved at Tim's peace. I was almost giddy.) There are still moments where I wonder, but ultimately, I have peace. Daria was a little disappointed to hear of our decision. We had to ask her to trust us that we were making the best decision for her. She begged us to change our minds for the first day....but I haven't heard anything since Sunday.

God is good.

Now my thoughts have been consumed with Sherwood's tryouts. They take place this coming Sunday morning. (Mother's Day!!) I have been praying that God would just continue to be faithful in Daria' life....even in her soccer life. I am also praying that I will feel at peace at whatever happens. Daria has been busy this week preparing herself for tryouts.

I am anxious to see what God has in mind.

Oh the pressure.

Soccer isn't that big a deal. Or at least it shouldn't be.

I love that my daughter loves soccer. I love that she is good at it. I get a lot of joy out of watching her play. I love to hear what other people say about her and her soccer skills.

But right now, it kind of stinks.

The pressure is on for us to make the decision. I really don't like the pressure. I would rather like to feel like the power is in our hands. When our hand is forced, I want to run.

It makes me thankful, again, that Tim is so level headed. I tend to run on emotions and sometimes my body blocks my thought processes. When I hear the jockeying, I cower; Tim steps up to the plate. This is a good example of when we work well together. I asked him the other night to handle this...and he is. I'm so glad.

So....right now Tim is doing a lot of talking with the coach. I'm not sure what will come of it. Probably another night of little sleep as we talk things through. Ugh.

It shouldn't be this hard. It's just soccer.

Things that make you go....Hmmmm.....

It has been a while since I've blogged about Daria and soccer. Not that she has stopped playing....just that things have settled down some. Things are starting to pick up again. Which is okay....but in the last couple of days there has been a lot of things to think about. Soccer shouldn't be this difficult for parents when she is only 10!!

This last month has been Spring Academy for her. I suppose it is like a soccer camp....but it really is just a preview for Classic tryouts. She has also been finishing up a Spring outdoor PDP session. As always she continues to amaze me and does an amazing job. She seems to be improving all the time...and that is a good thing!!

My biggest wish in the world of soccer has been that the selection of teams would be fair and based on the girls' playing abilities. The more I listen in and learn about it, though, I am finding that it is a very political thing....and it all starts back when the girls start playing soccer!! It is just ridiculously crazy. I try very hard not to let myself get carried away with the frustration of it all. It is so easy to get wrapped up in it all. Ultimately, I just want Daria to play with a good team, and for a good coach who we can work with and be respected for our point of view regarding church.

In this last outdoor session, Daria's team recruited a trio of girls from a Newberg team to play with them. Their coach came along too. These girls were excellent....and I knew of the coach from college. He played soccer for George Fox when I was a student. And through other George Fox/soccer connections, I have heard very good things about this coach.

The last couple of games, this coach has said very flattering things about Daria and her playing. Of course, being her mother, I think she is a fabulous player. She continues to amaze me with her abilities. Even so, I still soak up the things that people tell her directly....as well as the things that I overhear. There's just something about seeing and hearing that your children do well. Then on Friday night, at the End of Season party, this coach approached Tim and I about Daria coming to play on his team.

He said all the right things.

This coach believes that Daria should play on an A team. He was surprised that the A team coach in our town hadn't picked her up yet.....that she should be playing on their team. And not just playing.....but starting. He also said that he has a winning club. His team has gone to the medal rounds in every thing they have entered. He says that with a player like Daria....they could go all the way. Whose to know if he's right. A mom wants to believe all that....but who knows if he is just laying it on thick. He also said the he already knows what he would work on with Daria to make her from a good player....to a great player. Now that one I will agree with....the things that he talked about are things I see his daughter do. She is one classy player.

This presents a lot of things for Tim and I to think over...and a decision needs to be made by Friday. He presented a lot of other thoughts....like taking control of Daria's soccer future instead of letting the A team decide it for her. He said he really had picked up on the political factor between the two teams when they played a couple of weeks ago. We also talked with him about our stand on Sunday games during the church hour. He was very understanding of that. We have been very worried about that...especially after this current coach gave us so much grief for missing a game because of church.

So....all that to say....that I'm proud of my girlie. It is exciting to me that she is being noticed and asked for. Yet so much to think about and making sure we make the right decision for her...and our family. I laid awake way too long the other night thinking about it. The relative known vs. the relative unknown.

Hmmmm.....

Oh the Bliss!!

I love the sun. I am not sure there is anything much better than a warm, sunny day after a long, dreary, gray winter. We have had that kind of weather this weekend. I'm in love.

Today has been a perfect day. For the first time in a long time, we had a day with no outside obligations. It was so nice. Our day looked like this:

Church.

Lunch.

And then the bliss......an afternoon of playing in the glorious sun with my family. AND....bonus....we were all actually in a pretty good mood. Must be something with that sun.

One of our favorite weekend activities is to go play around on the high school turf field. The sun must have brought out the city of Sherwood...all seeking to soak in the sun. It was busy!! We still managed to find a corner of grass and we played some soccer games. Luke even got involved. Usually he finds a quiet game of his own to play. He doesn't think he can keep up so he doesn't try.

And he was hilarious!!! He loves cell phones...and he had two in his hands. He was so kind as to share them with me!! Wasn't that sweet? We'd be in the middle of a soccer ball attack...and he'd yell: "Quick, Mom, trade!" And we would toss the phones. At other times, as he's running the ball around, he'd flip out his phone and start carrying on a conversation. WHAT??? You'd can't talk on the phone and play soccer at the same time? He's so funny some times!!

We had a good time.

After we wore ourselves out...and Tim burned off his testosterone by drop kicking a thousand balls....we decided that we were hungry for dinner. And shock of all shocks....Tim took us out for dinner!!! (And we had McD's hamburgers for lunch!!) The kids didn't even mind that it was at Taco Bell! (bonus!) And as we munched on our tacos, Tim just drives right on by the turn off for home and heads for Newberg.

Earlier in the day, I had made a comment that strawberry shortcakes were probably now in season at Burgerville. My favorite. So, where did he take us. To Burgerville.

Oh. My. Goodness.

And once we are there...not only does he order me a strawberry shortcake....but he orders ice cream cones for him and the kids.

**THUD**

And I must say that strawberry shortcake was pure bliss. The perfect ending to a wonderful day. It's been almost a whole year since I've had a strawberry shortcake from Burgerville!! And they've made them oh-so-much bigger. Yum. It was so yummy that I could have licked the container. But...I refrained.

And just rejoiced in the bliss of a perfect day.

Thankful Thursday

To my faithful followers: No, you are not going insane. I did not get this written on Thursday like I wanted....but I post dated it so that it would fall on Thursday. The thoughts that are wrapped up in this post had been bubbling all week, and I'm just now getting to putting them down.

On Saturday, April 4, a friend of mine lost her brother-in-law. He was one of the three police officers that was gunned down in Pittsburgh. Her sister is only 27 years old, widowed with two sweet girls to raise on her own. I've been following the story for the last week. I'm not sure why it has struck me as hard as it has. Maybe it is because, in a round-about-way I "knew" her....and seen pictures of her family. It seems like every time I would read a story about this family, I would sit at the computer crying. I think one of the biggest tragedies of life is losing a spouse or child. All in all, my life has been pretty tragedy-free. Maybe that is why I have this suppressed fear that someday that tragedy is going to be mine.

I know before I left for Mexico I confessed that one of my fears was to have Tim or I die while our children were young. When I was pregnant with Luke, a friend of ours died in his sleep, leaving behind his little girl, who was Daria's age, and his wife. I just remember being shell-shocked with the absolute suddenness of it. Nothing about it felt right. Just as this Pittsburgh tragedy just does not feel right. At times like this, I wish that God would let us see the bigger picture, and His purposes. Yet, we are left to trust that God is still in control...and He knows.

As I have thought about this post for the last couple of days, it seemed like I had more eloquent words to express my thoughts. Yet, when I get down to actually typing it out, all the thoughts come out jumbled. All of that to say, that I must, constantly, express my gratitude for the gifts that God has blessed me with...for tomorrow....they could be gone.

So, today I am thankful for:

• My Tim. I am so thankful for his health. For his consistency. For his faith. For his faithful provision for me and our children. Each day with him is a gift.
  

• My children. Sometimes they drive me crazy with the bickering, but they are precious. They are brilliant. Charismatic. Hilarious. Beautiful. Each day with them is as gift.
  

• For each day. For each day that God gives me here, I am thankful. Even for the days where things don't go the way I want them. For the days that I am tired. For the days I am overly busy. For the days that I feel overworked. For the days that I get to celebrate any ol' thing. Each day is a gift.
  

Some times I feel like my Thankful Thursdays are terribly repetitive, but this week, I have felt confirmed that I need to acknowledge these things constantly.

Lest I forget.

Thankful Thursday....Mexico Serve Trip Style

I had hoped to get on here today and continue my Mexican saga, but my tummy has been doing an extra Mexican jig today...so no new Mexican post. But after coming off a week that I just experienced, I couldn't let this Thursday go by without expressing some gratitude.

Today for Moms in Touch, we praised God for being faithful. The evidences of His faithfulness fills my heart with gratitude. As I go way back to basics for my thankfulness, I wish that I had the pictures to adequately show why I am so very grateful. Out of respect to the people we visited, I do not have pictures....only the pictures that are engraved on my heart.

So, today I am very, very thankful for:

• My family. One night, during our fireside talks, we were encouraged to think about what makes us feel secure. We were asked to think hard about that. Does what you think makes you feel secure really make you secure....or does it just bring you comfort? Wow. All those things that I thought was security...when I got honest with myself...was really comfort. What my security really boiled down to, outside of my faith in Jesus, was my family.

• My home. I know...this is purely a comfort item....but I am so thankful for my home. After seeing the homes that these people lived in...after seeing these homes that other mothers were attempting to keep their own children secure....I was reminded of how very, very blessed I am. I have always been thankful for my home....but this was different. I can't even begin to explain.

• Tim's job. One night, our group had the privilege of delivering food baskets to some very poor families. The story that we were told was that these families were living in these "apartments" that were owned by their boss. These homes were theirs to use as long as they continued to work for this boss. This same "generous" boss was also 3 weeks behind on paying these very, very poor families...at times he has been 5 weeks behind. I came away doubly reminded of how very, very blessed we are.

• My job. Because of Tim's job, and our commitment to our finances, I am blessed to work as a Mom. Sometimes I am not very grateful for this job. The Atta-Girls can be very few and far between. But, it is a blessing that I have the freedom to be an active part in my kids' lives. That I can spend an afternoon working at their school. That I can take a morning and attend a field trip. That I can be here when they wake up and get them ready for school. That I can be there, waiting in carline, ready to pick them up after school. That I can be there to listen to their frustrations and help them with their homework. That I can be here to brush their teeth and pray with them at bedtime. That I can be here. It is a gift....a comfort.
  

• My kids' health. One day, I was allowed the privilege of holding a little boy while he slept. His sister would carry him to the VBS that we were putting on for the migrant settlement that we were visiting. I understood that she was his caregiver during the day while her parents were working in the fields. The first two days that we were there, the sister wouldn't let anyone care for him while she played. On Wednesday, he had fallen asleep in her arms, and someone finally convinced her to release him so that she could play. As she played, like any little girl should have the privilege to do, I held him. He was so tiny....though I'm guessing he was older than his size let on. As I looked at him, something told me that something wasn't quite right with him. No proof....just a gut feeling. My heart broke as I looked at him. I wanted to bathe him. Wash his dirty face. Lotion up his dry and scabby arms. And I was reminded of how very thankful I am for my kids and the health that God has granted them. A comfort.

Okay. I guess this did become a continuation of my Mexican saga. Guess I should have known that......because God is faithful.

Coming Home

After spending approximately 50 hours in a bus with 16+ people and traveling approximately 2500 miles (round trip), I'm home from Mexico!

Shannon and I in our "spots." Creatures of habit...all of us!!

Occasionally, the faces changed...but my view for many an hour.

And through it all, God was faithful. When I am truly honest, I expected nothing less from Him. It is me who does the scrambling.

What a week. I have much to say on the subject....and lots of pictures to go with it! (I just counted up 42 pictures to share...and that is just a smatter of the highlights!!) For the last couple of days since I have been home, I have been overwhelmed with how to summarize such a week. To put it all in one post would be just ridiculously long...and completely insufficient. So to help me get over the largeness of the task ahead, I decided to break the week up in many posts. So, if you want, keep coming back to hear more.

To begin to summarize, I couldn't help but start with the ending.....Coming Home. After my departure post that talked about my fears of leaving on such an adventure, it seems only appropriate to talk about God's goodness in Coming Home. Isn't that what our life should be? A testament to God's faithfulness through our scrambling fears and all-too-human thoughts?

One of my "fears" was leaving my kids for as long as I did. For the last 10 years, my life and daily happenings has been defined almost solely by my children. What do I do and who am I when I am not with my children? Or thinking about my children? Or planning around my children? I think that my longest stretches of leaving them has been for a long weekend to Women's Retreat, which is 2 half days and 2 whole days. I was gone to Mexico for essentially 8 whole days.

God is faithful. I know that I am not irreplaceable. Other people are just as good, or better, at washing clothes, keeping house, making meals...etc. But, in my household, that has been my job. And no one loves my children more than I do. (And who wants to know that you can be replaced!?!) I left my children knowing that the next best thing to me was going to be there caring for them.

On the weekends, Tim did a great job doing his Daddy-thing. It sounds like they had a great time together! On this last Sunday after coming home, something happened that revealed to me that my time away was a good thing for my children and their daddy. Caden took a fall on his rollerblades, and had a cut big enough to cause some bleeding. Usually, when my children are hurt, it is my name that they yell. That day? They yelled for Tim. "Dad, Dad, come quick. Caden is hurt and he needs you!" I did the best thing for the situation. I stayed right where I was and let Tim handle it. It was a good thing.

During the week, while Tim worked, I was blessed to have my parents come and do their Grammy-and-Papa-thing. Bonus on top of all that was the arrival of Auntie Tresa and The Cousins, Alyssa and Kyle. It sounds like it was a whirlwind of adventures, exciting times and trips to McDonald's! I'm kind of sad that I missed the Hoopla....but I guess it was because I was gone that the Hoopla happened!! Good times. Good memories. Thanks, Mom, Dad, and Tresa. You were a blessing.

I would suppose that it was the knowledge that my kids were left in such great care that I really didn't worry about my kids. I don't think it was until Thursday, as we drove by, in the light, some homes that we had visited the night before in the dark, that I really missed my kids. I had thought of them and wondered what adventures they were experiencing, but I hadn't really missed them yet. On that Thursday, I just wanted to grab them up in my arms and hold them tight. They are a huge part of the blessing that I was reminded of while I was in Mexico. I missed my kids.

On Friday, after crossing back into the United States, my friend was wonderful enough to share her cell phone with me and I was able to call home and talk to my family. It was so good to talk to them. I was sort of worried that they would be too busy with Grammy and Papa to give me much notice on the phone, but it was music to my ears to hear Luke express his thoughts. After telling me about a few exciting things, Luke declared: "Mom, I think I kind of miss you." Wow!! That did my heart good, especially after he responded "O.K." after I told him that I loved him!!

Saturday, our last day of travel, was a tedious, antsy day for me. I just wanted to be home. It hadn't helped that I hadn't slept much the night before and was tired and a bit cranky. Every stop was a testing of my patience!! I had a good day of practicing restraint. Okay. I wasn't really that bad, but there was a part of me that desperately wished that I was Samantha of Bewitched and could just twinkle my nose and be home!! I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to pull up the driveway of the church, hearing the bus' horn scream out the cheers bursting in my heart, knowing that my family was waiting for me right there!

Let me tell you, there is nothing better than being greeted by my children all clamoring for me at once. I felt like a celebrity!! I couldn't hug them or kiss them nearly fast enough. I had a whole week to make up for, you know! For the rest of the evening, they were all talking to me at once, trying to tell me everything at once. "Mom, why aren't you listening to me????" "I don't know...you are all talking to me at once!!" Everyone was touching me and hugging me as if they were as hungry as I was to be with them. Even though it was exactly what I needed, it exhausted me too. Not sure why, all I did was sit in a bus all day!!

It is so good to be home. My own bed. A hot shower. Familiar foods. A beautiful home. Renewed gratitude. It is good.

Yet, I can't believe how hard it has been to get back into the swing of things. I sort of feel lost in my own home. The kids were missing some items and asking me where they were. How was I suppose to know??? I hadn't been around for 8 days! My mom also did a little rearranging in my cupboards....good...but sometimes I feel lost!! But it sure is nice to be home again.

I have been really tired this week. I probably need to just crash super early some night since my regular sleep schedules don't seem to be enough to catch me up. I've just been a puddle this week. It hasn't helped that my tummy, and other things south of that, have been off a tad this week. I know...more information than you needed. Yet with all that, I can't complain.

Have I mentioned yet that it is good to be home?

Life and Faith

Once a year, Tim takes a bike trip that sends my prayers and my faith into a dither. Our church holds a church picnic out at Tilikum, our church camp. For whatever reason, Tim always likes to ride his bike out there. When the kids were littler, and could still fit in the bike trailer, he would take one or two of them along with him. I always hate that ride.

The last few miles of this trip to the camp is on a two-lane road with NO shoulder....lots of hills and valleys that leaves a very short sight distance. When I come after Tim in the van with all the stuff for a day at the camp, I take the path that he would ride just in case something happens. And that is where my faith gets a little unnerved. I have horrible visions of coming to the top of a hill, or rounding a corner to see Tim mangled along side the road. My visions were really horrible when he would have the kids with him. So...every year, as Tim prepares for this trip, I plead with him not to go. And every year, he just smiles at me as he takes off on his bike. And for a couple of hours, I'm just sick until I see that he is well and whole at the other end.

Today, I am leaving on a trip. A very long trip. I will be spending a total of approximately 48 hours, over the next week, in a van on my way to Mexico. I haven't even begun to calculate how many miles that will be....because that just feels overwhelming. The hours alone just about makes me squirm out of my seat!!

For the most part, I am excited about this trip. I last went on a service trip to Mexico back when I was in college. It really was an amazing experience. I loved every minute of it. Even though I dread the long hours in the van, I truly believe that it is going to be an amazing trip. I am excited to see what God is going to do on this trip, not only in my own life, but also in the lives of the kids that are going. It is going to be cool to see things on the other side of this week.

Then there is the other side of my heart. In the ten years that I have been a mom, I have never left my kids for this long. The very practical side of me tells me that they will have a wonderful time celebrating Spring Break with my parents, my sister, and her family. I'm a little jealous of their time together this coming week....but then I remember that the only reason this came together is because I am leaving the country!!! No fair! In all that though, there is this side of me that is terrified that in all those many, many hours on the road, that there will be an accident that will take me away from my family.

I know. I know. Faith is required here. But just because I have faith does not mean that tragic things won't happen. I also know that heaven is far more wonderful than anything here on earth. But to imagine my kids going through life with a loss as tragic as losing a parent....that sucks. Kids lose their moms all the time. There is no guarantee that I will make it back to my family. I could go on....but I'm not helping myself here.

As my time of departure draws nearer...(I leave in 2 hours!!)....I just pray a little more for the safety of our trip. I pray for my kids that they will have a week full of great memories. I hug my kids a little tighter....munch on them a little more often....and hope that it all holds us over until I come home again.

Adios, mis amigos!! I hope to have a fabulous update in a little over a week. Most likely I will shower first....and then post!!

Happy Spring Break!

Thankful Thursday

Since it has been a while since I have posted a Thankful Thursday post, and I will be out of the country next Thursday, I thought it was pretty important that I get one in. I really need to get back in the swing of being thankful. It is so very important for keeping my head on straight.

So...today I am thankful for:

• The opportunity to go on a mission trip to Mexico with our youth group. Honestly, there are some parts about the trip that I'm not too thankful for....but I know that it will be a wonderful experience. I am going to try to blog tomorrow about some thoughts running around in my head about that. I need some prayer.....

• For my parents who are coming out of their way to help care for my kids while I am gone. That really helps me be able to leave them for so long. They may need some prayer.....

• That my kids will make some wonderful memories with their Grammy and Papa. That helps me, too.
  

• For my husband who was a huge part of the reason why I decided to go. If he hadn't encouraged me, I probably wouldn't be going.

• For the young man who asked me to go in the first place. That he even wanted me along in the first place means alot.

• For my precious Moms In Touch friends who are praying for me.....for my husband....for my parents....for my kids.
  

Much to be thankful for. I will probably be keeping track of all the things I am thankful for in the coming week. I'm gonna be reporting back, because I think its going to be a good week.

Something to be thankful for....

My washer has been in its death throes for the last year or so. And it wasn't going quietly. Each wash sounded like a freight train barreling through my house. There was no doubt where the machine was in its cycle when the final spin was going on. I never liked to run it after the kids were in bed....I thought for sure that it would wake them up.

AND...it leaked like nobody's business. It was down right pathetic. It got to the point that I started putting towels under it to catch the water. I use to only have to use one towel per wash day. At the end, I was putting a new towel under there every load....and the towels would be soaked. Crazy. But, just like our old cars, Tim said that we were going to use it until it died.

Last Monday, it finally gave up the ghost. I went down after putting a load in to put it in the dryer. There it sat...humming...but no spinning. Clothes were soaked. No matter what I tried to do....it wouldn't work. After calling Tim, he informed me that he would look at it when he got home. That night, I had to leave for a meeting before I got to see "the verdict." But when I got home, Tim was researching new ones.

What?????

It gets even crazier. By Friday, I had a new washer sitting in my laundry room. A brand spanking new washer. For Tim, that is almost unheard of....especially so quickly.

No complaints. No arguments. I'll take it. Thank you very much!

Yesterday and today have been my first laundry days with my new washer. Can I just say WOO HOO!! It is so quiet. I can't even tell when it is done. In fact yesterday, I went down there and actually had to look at the lights to know if it was in the final spin or not. And it was!! It was so quiet. Unbelievable!! I can almost enjoy doing laundry now!

Needless to say, I am a happy housewife. Thank you, TimJ!

In This World

This morning, as I've been getting ready for my day, I've been thinking of the song with the words:

"In this world you will have troubles, but I'm leaving you my peace, That where I am you may also be."

I think that I have been living in a bubble the last 10 years or so. Since I no longer work in the mainstream, my life revolves around my church and my church family. Even now, with my kids being in a charter school, I am finding that the moms who get in and get involved are Christian ladies. It seems like I have very little, or very limited contacted with "The World."

I'm finding that where my world intersects with The World is soccer. You can really meet some interesting people in the world of soccer. I am amazed at how many people allow soccer to consume them. Even though, as I see how good my daughter is becoming, I can totally understand the tendency.

My frustration with soccer lies in the fact that, at least in our area, Sunday is not sacred when it comes to setting up games. Not even Sunday morning is sacred. For the last year or so that Daria has been playing throughout the year, and thus a little more competitively, we have had coaches who have respected our decision to keep Sunday mornings devoted to God. In fact, I have felt truly supported in that regard. At times, they have even bent over backwards trying to reschedule games so that Daria could be involved.

For the last month or two, Daria has been playing with a coach that I have been a little nervous about. His reputation regarding his temper has not been very good. Tim and I talked about it long and hard that we would need to stand firm if there were Sunday morning games. A week or so ago, I was surprised to hear this coach ask us to consider allowing Daria to play in the one Sunday morning game that was in our current schedule. (Personally, I was feeling pretty fortunate that it was only one game.) Because I am so intimidated by this coach, I told him we would talk about it and let him know. Really, I was just passing the buck for Tim to handle.

So, Tim handled it last night. I'm not sure the coach was terrible happy with us. He sort of made it sound like the team had gone above and beyond to reschedule games so that Daria could be there, so maybe we could at least compromise. But then he went on to lay on the compliments. I feel bad that he might be put out with us, but this morning, as I thought about it, I was reminded of why we hold true to our values.

Long after Daria can no longer play soccer, I pray that she will have a faith that will stand the storms of life. I am also praying that God will honor our decision to remain true to Him even in these little things. Even though Daria seems to understand, I pray that she will see the true reward of honoring God first above all. I was also reminded to continue to pray for her future coaches...that they would honor and respect our decision to put God first.

If nothing else is gained, those commitment reminders for me is enough.

Oh my....

Has it really been that long since I have posted on my blog????? How time does fly.

I think that my brain has been on vacation lately. Sounds great in theory. But in reality....oh my....so not good. I have been ditching responsibilities left and right. Not necessarily intentionally, just simply forgetting. Next thing you know...a week and half goes by.

But I love my blog. I miss unloading my thoughts on here. Like, today, Luke and I were sipping on some water as we waiting for our laundry to finish up at the laundry mat. (Old washer went belly-up, new one arrives on Friday) As Luke took a sip today, he says: "Mom, this water is so refreshing. Don't you think it is refreshing? Is all water refreshing? I think that all water is refreshing. Yes, it is refreshing." I swear....he said refreshing that many times!! So cute. So mature. (Didn't even know he knew the word refreshing!) Then he sat in my lap and sang "Muffin Man" and some of his own variations of that song. I loved hearing him actually say, perfectly, "Drury Lane." Ah....the peace that spoke to my heart. I know...silly....but it tells me so much of where he really is at.

And speaking of where Luke is....we are having success with learning out letters. That little man is so very stubborn. I took him a couple of weeks ago to have his hearing evaluated. His hearing is normal...and the speech therapist told me that his speech patterns and sentence structures are at age level....or ADVANCED. Yeah!! After working with him for the last couple of months, I have concluded that he just lacks the confidence in himself. I am praying against the lies that he has stored in his head. I'm trying to help him find value in the things that he is learning. When he assigns it a value....he learns. He is also LOVING reading. He has two particular books that are his favorites. We read them every night. He practically has them memorized....and they aren't particularly easy books to memorize.

I have lots of stored up stuff to say. I need to start carrying around a notebook, because I think of things when I am away from a computer. Then, when I'm tired, and I have slowed down enough to write, my brain can't think of them. I refuse to say that it has anything to do with getting older.....

Thanks for sticking with me. Things will get back to normal....soon. It is a promise I've made to myself. My blog is my therapy....and its cheaper than a psychologist!

If You Really Know Us....

.....You'll find this comic strip all too funny. I think I just about snorted my oatmeal this morning when I read it.


I want royalties, you know. And I think I am going going to have my house scanned for bugs.

Trying Something New

I'm getting brave.

I have a cousin who is probably one of the most driven people I have ever met. She has no fear of trying something new. It seems like she is always in the pursuit of conquering something new. I am in awe of her. I wish that I could be like her.

Me? I'm the coward. I'm the one who has all these dreams floating around her head. I'm pretty sure that few, if any of these dreams will ever come through. Lots of reasons. Money. Fear. Lack of motivation. Fear. Procrastination. Fear.

Catch the theme?

It is that fear of failure that just keeps me from even attempting to learn something new. Even with "schooling" Luke, I proceed with fear. I've already screwed him up, I'll probably screw him up more!! Each day I find myself beating down the thought of giving up. Yet there is a part of me that says that this is one area that I cannot give into fear and give up. That's why Luke and I are where we are. He was fearful and gave up.

So, I look at my cousin and all the things that she has done and I find myself motivated. She taught herself how to play the guitar. I haven't actually heard her play, but it sounds like she taught herself really well. So, I thought....if she can do it, so can I.

A few months back, I bought a CD/DVD kit on how to learn to play the guitar. I pulled it out last week and have committed to "practicing" every week day. I say practice lightly because I don't feel like I'm making a lot of headway. I've "learned" a couple of chords. But I can't transition between them very well at all. I struggle even with learning the right "tension" to place on each string. AND....my fingers HURT!! I almost feel like I'm losing feeling in them. I hope they toughen up!!

So. I've 'fessed up. I am hoping that with that confession will keep me honest. I will try to keep things posted as to my progress. Maybe God will speed my learning along. Wouldn't that be fun???

What a Mom Would Do.....

We've all heard the extreme stories of what a Mom will do for her kids. We would eat scraps. Wear rags. Climb a mountain. Sacrifice our lives. And so the story goes.

Tonight....this Mom went to a whole new level in Motherly Sacrifice.

Daria is pretty awesome at soccer. She puts her poor mom to shame. I have had dreams where I played as good as she does. She seems to be naturally gifted that way. Beyond the practices that have been assigned to her by coaches, she really hasn't worked on her skills on her own. Unless you want to count playing against Dad on Sunday afternoons!!

One of the skills she needs to have for Classic Soccer is to learn to juggle. To me, juggling even with your hands is difficult....much less with your feet and a soccer ball. I've often tried to encourage her to practice that skill....but she has never liked to do it on her own. Yesterday, I decided that if she really needed to practice this skill....I would make it happen.

So tonight, I suggested that she and I do some juggling in the garage tonight. And that is what we did. Now....mind you....I've not played a stitch of soccer....unless you want to count playing against/with Tim on Sunday afternoons. BUT....I was in there practicing my juggling.

I was quite proud of myself. I actually did it about 4 times in a row a couple of times. I could fairly consistently do it 3 times in a row. I was even doing about as good as Daria most of the time. By the time Classic tryouts happen, I may just be the total Soccer Mom package!!

The bonus in the evening was just the fun that we had. Caden came out with us and dinked around with the balls, too. (Anything to get better at soccer!!) We laughed and had a great ol' time. I was a little surprised that Luke didn't come out and join us....but he was having a great time playing with his Rescue Heroes.

So...Here's to being a Mom. We really do do it all!!

Valentine Blessings

Every once in a while, my sweet Tim throws me for a loop. Guess you could call me a Roller Coaster gal....cause I really liked this loop!!

I really expected my Valentine's day to just be another date on the calendar. To say that Tim isn't a Romantic is an understatement. I've learned to just take what I can get. I certainly have learned to never expect anything grand for Valentine's Day. Totally a retail holiday.

The day started out pretty normal. Wished I could say that I slept in, but Murphy's law says that one must get up early when we want to sleep in. Even though I was up early, I was lazy....until we had to head out the door for Daria's two soccer games. (They won both...and Daria was amazing....again! Gosh, I'm proud of her!)

After we got home, the kids and I crashed a little bit while Tim helped the neighbor service the church tractor. That is pretty normal....but then he comes home and begins doing things that are extremely atypical for him. Like....picking up the living room. Putting things away in the kitchen. MAKING THE BED!!! And offering to buy pizza for dinner...even after we had to eat out for lunch between Daria's games!! Wow...he's being awfully attentive.

WHO IS THIS MAN AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HUSBAND??!!??

Then....he gives me my Valentine's gift. Wow. He actually got me more than a handwritten note!!! I'm shocked. I didn't think that I could be even more shocked...but when I opened it....I would have fallen over if I wasn't safely planted on the couch!! He bought me a Wii Fit!! I had just gone the day before trying to find one and they didn't have one. I couldn't have been more excited. Even the fact that he dashed to the store that day before Daria's game to get it didn't dash my excitement. Even the fact that the kids were just as excited and consumed for the rest of the time didn't dash my excitement.

As I was enjoying watching my kids' enthusiasm, I hear my kids yelling that someone was here. I look out the window to see Tim's sister and her husband drive up. Hmmmm. That's awfully interesting....for Valentine's day. Why would they be here to celebrate their Valentine's day??? I thought for sure that they were just here to say a quick hello. Then they come in and start settling in. I began to wonder if our one pizza would be enough to feed us all!! I wasn't sure what to think.

As conversation went, it slowly came out that they were here to babysit....while Tim took me out!! Well, blow me over! Quick....run in and change your shirt. My Soccer Mom sweatshirt doesn't cut it on a date with my sweetie!

So, Tim and I headed out to one of my favorite places, Burgerville. Nothing grand. But I did get to pick out anything I wanted off the menu this time!! That's awfully generous for my miserly hubby. And....we didn't have to wait for hours at a restaurant....or for Tim....we didn't have to pay a tip!! We had a good dinner....and good conversation. And....that IS good!!

We came home to let Jeff and Debbie go home and do some celebrating of their own. The kids needed baths for church the next day. And I wanted a turn on the Wii Fit. Even with the usualness of the evening, we had a good Valentine's day.

I felt blessed.

Thankful Thursday

Gettin' down to business.....

Today I am thankful for:

• Luke's desire to be read to. I have been amazed lately how much Luke has been enjoying reading. He use to have no desire to sit and listen to stories. Now he can't seem to get enough. Tonight we ready "Bad Kitty".....3 times, "Poor Puppy"....3 times.....and 2 Munschworks stories. I read for 45 minutes until my throat was sore....and he was still begging for more.

• The "MITCH moms co-op" I have been participating with the last couple of weeks. We take turns watching kids, "teaching school" to preschoolers, and volunteering in the classroom. We get a lot done....and it lets me get back into volunteering in the classroom.

• And I will say it again...and again...and again....I am so thankful for my Moms In Touch friends. I don't know what I would do without them. They are such an encouragement. They are definitely a bright spot in my week.
  

Happy Thankful Thursday!!!

Can you hear me now???

I think one of my biggest frustrations in life right now is that I feel like I can talk until I'm blue in the face and not really be heard.

"What'd you say?"

That is what Tim would say right now if I verbally said it out loud. Of course, right now, he is sacked out on the couch....again.....and he wouldn't hear a word that I say. But that is a typical response of his when I ask him if he heard me. Of course, 99% of the time he is just teasing me. It is an time-old joke between him and I. I can't tell you how many times I took him seriously and repeated myself. I'm getting smarter. Either that or I've just been married to him for forever.

So maybe I shouldn't say that I wish that I was heard. I want people to listen. So maybe I should think for a while on what is meant by listened to. Can I feel like people have listened if there is no response? No acknowledgment. No change in behavior. Nothing.

What is the responsibility of the listener?

Then again, maybe it is the fault of the communicator. Maybe I have failed, again and again, to communicate well. But then again, are we only required to listen if things are communicated correctly, succinctly, and well? Is it possible to listen even when the point is stated poorly and in frustration?

Maybe my frustration lies in the secret desire I have to be understood whether I say anything at all. Sometimes I can't say what really needs to be said. Or the words fail me. Even then....can I be heard? I mean....really heard.

Or maybe I just really want to know that I've been heard. I mean really know. Even my prayers of persistency and desperation come from just wanting to be truly heard.

Enough of that. Gonna break that thought train. Rant over.

Family Fun

This Christmas, I convinced Tim to buy our family a Wii. Of all the gaming systems out there, this is the only system that has remotely interested me. To move and wiggle instead of sit and jiggle seemed totally worth the money.

We actually missed getting one in time for Christmas, but due to a little bit of good timing, we were able to buy one a couple of weeks ago. The kids...and well...me, too....were really excited! For a while there, it was Wii frenzy around here. But as time has gone on....we aren't nearly as fanatical about it as we had been.

Okay....the kids aren't nearly as fanatical as they use to be. Me. I'm just getting started.

I have been having a blast. Now that the kids have cooled a little bit, I now find that I have time to play. The kids have even enjoyed watching me play. Even my wildly competitive son cheered for me today when I earned a gold medal on a game. Now that is a shocker!! Usually he's mad and out on a mission to be the best.

It was fun tonight watching my Tim rise to the his Ego's call. He's always Mr. Cool, Calm and Collected. Mr. Calculated. Because he is so stinking level-headed and calculated, he easily masters the games that leave the kids and I sweating and puffing. It is fun to see my oh-so-sober husband loosen up and have a blast playing the Wii. So cool.

I think tonight we had the best family time we had in a long time. No crying over someone losing. Laughing at each other attempting new games for the first time. And we all got involved. It was so much fun.

Next time I am going to have to remember to get the camera out. Click: Luke dodging wildly in the boxing, trying to show Mom how its done.. Click: Caden jumping wildly at a great shot in golf. Click: Tim being Mr. Joe Cool. Click: Daria grinning mischieviously.

Until the next fight breaks out over remote choices.....best purchase we've made in a long time.