Being The A.D.

Looking back, I didn't truly appreciate living in the home of educators, but as an adult, I realize now how incredibly awesome that was. My parents had time off at Christmas, Spring Break, and Summer. We took full advantage of those vacations. Time with family, camping trips, and day trips to the local beach were regular activities.

My dad was our family's athletic director. Being a physical education teacher, it seemed the appropriate term in our family to describe the person who planned our family's adventures. Though, as I think about it, seems like I remember there being "kerfuffles" over who actually was the A.D., or Athletic Director! As a kid, I took that role for granted because we were always off on some adventure or other.

So, here I am: The Queen of My Own Domain. The Holder Down of the Fort. The Fixer of Boo Boos. The Chauffeur. The Maid. And....unfortunately....The A. D. The dreaded Athletic Director. I've decided that the role of A.D. is one of my unspoken gender assigned roles. I've waited for 15 years for my husband to be the A.D. Unfortunately, he carries his own gender assigned role of being The Provider. And his Provider job does not have vacations like an educator.

*sigh*

Recognizing my need to be The A.D. hasn't helped me much. I struggle so much in planning activities for my kids....for our family. I get weighed down with the details. What to do. How to get there. How much it might cost. How many people will be there. Not-so-cooperative attitudes of my children. My husband's availability vs. doing it without him. And the list goes on. Road block after road block, I find myself doing very little, or nothing at all.

Not what I planned. Not what I want.

And yet, whether I plan something or not, life goes on. With or without me.

Aiming for With.

Happiness A to Z

We are on the Official Day 2 of Spring Break. The first day went fairly well. No fights. Some chores were finished. All in all, a very good day. It gave me hope for the rest of Spring break.

Today, I woke to gray skies. Again. The rain sprinkled me this morning on my walk. The cloud cover is significant enough to tell me there won't be any sunbreaks today. Bummer.

The gray skies seem to be settling in here in the house too. Complaints. Mumbled sour words. Arguments.

*sigh*

I want joy. I want happiness. I want kindness and forgiveness. Not sure if we'll get there, but I'm hopeful. So, let's focus on happiness. What brings me happiness? Let's contemplate that from A to Z:

*Applied Talents. My kids have lots of them. It brings me lots of joy to see them used. Athleticism. Great memory. Math skills. Singing. Piano.

*Brotherly togetherness. It was sooo much fun to watch the boys working together yesterday on chores. I smiled so big as I watched Caden patiently teaching Luke how to make cookies. Not the best batch of cookies we've ever had; but, they were sweet just the same.

*Cozy hugs. I love that my kids still want to snuggle with me once in a while.

*Doggy tricks. Ruby is such a hoot when she's going through her little "routine." Cracks me up when she "anticipates" our calls. It is fun to watch my kids playing with her too.

*Everyone together. Seems like lately that our family time together is rare and far between. I love it when we are all together enjoying the same thing.

*Friends. Nothing is better than a great friend. It makes it even better when my kids are friends to each other.

*Good coffee. I never thought I'd say that!! I've always loved the smell of coffee...reminds me of my grandpa. Now, I enjoy a good cup of coffee. A little bit of pleasure amidst the chaos.

*Happy kids. When my kids are happy, this Mom can't help but be happy.

*Ice cream. Smiles in a bowl. 'Nuf said.

*Jesus. Without Him, I'm toast.

*Kindness. Why does that seem such a rare thing these days? One act of kindness can change everything.

*Laughter. Best sound on earth.

*Mom time. When the kids are finally in bed, and the house is quiet, that is pure bliss. Makes me sigh just thinking about it.

*Notes from anyone. Writing notes seems to be a dieing art anymore. How I cherish the words that are written. Those can be revisited again and again. The rewards are endless.

*Overly beautiful flowers. Come on, Spring, do your best!

*Pictures. There is a lot of joy to be found in looking at pictures. Pictures are worth a thousand words. Really.

*Quiet games. Fun and peace all wrapped in one.

*Red Robin. A shared hamburger from Red Robin with my Tim. 'Nuf said.

*Silly jokes. Okay...sometimes this is obnoxious....but roll with it....it's fun.

*Tim coming home early from work. Or should I reword that to: Tim coming home on time.

*Unexpected blessings. Who doesn't love that?

*Very hot bath coupled with a good book....yippee!!

*Walking Ruby. Not always; but, I am coming to really enjoy them. Most of the time.

*eXciting books. I love a good, well-written book.

*Zipping up my new birthday jacket. I love warmth.


This exercise of looking at what makes me happy seems to be working. Hoping the rest of the day proves so.

The Need for the Gift of Beauty

Winter in Oregon is tough for me. Gray. Wet. Gray. Cold. Gray. Damp. Gray. And so it goes. Even with the advent of Spring, (I think), I find myself stuck in the cycle of Gray. Wet. Gray. Cold. Gray. Damp. Gray. This morning, on my walk, as we slowed to a new-found, granted temporary, rhythm of Spring Break, I started to becomes aware of COLOR. Green grass. Yellow daffodils. Purple crocus. Ah....beauty.

Now, sitting in my home, darkened by the gray skies outside, I crave color. I crave beauty. I'm currently watching a home-decorating. Oh, that is a gift I wish that God had given me. The gift, the ability, to create beauty where I am. I crave beauty, and yet I feel paralyzed in my abilities to create beauty. It doesn't help that my home is cluttered with the mess of the weekend and the beginnings of Spring break.

People's giftings make certain tasks seem so easy. Their gift flows from them with ease and grace. I have always felt that somehow God skipped over me in my gifts. I don't automatically see where my giftings are. I want so badly to decorate my home with ease. I hate being paralyzed by my own fears of just jumping into that. I crave the beautiful. Why can't I create beauty.

A couple of weeks ago, in Sunday school, a friend suggested that may gift was writing. I struggle with that because I see others who write so much better. But, writing is as different as decorating. Each style is different and valued. So, I decided today, as I craved the gift of making beauty, I decided to test the waters of beginning my blog once again. Finding value in myself in the value of making beauty through writing.

My prayer is, as I finish this disjointed post, is that I will find value in the beauty of my writing once again. As I write, I pray that I find the beauty of color in my thoughts.

Come, Spring, bring your color.

Family Fun!

I love spending time with my family. All five of us together. Something about being together...and everyone having a good time...it just fills my heart up full.

At the beginning of this last school year, my kids won a night at The Great Wolf Lodge, an awesome hotel/indoor water park. I had looked into a couple of years ago...but just about croaked when I saw the price. I knew for sure that Tim would never go for such extravagance....so I assumed that we would never be able to go and experience this fun place. When we won this night, I was so excited. Kind of a God thing, in a way. I think I even doubted that we would ever even use it. Water isn't one of Tim's strong points, so I thought it would be another opportunity that would slip through our fingers.

With a planted seed of celebrating the end of a school year...and hoping to miss some of the crowds, Tim decided it would be a good idea to use our prize this last weekend. What fun we had!! The fact that we went on a Sunday/Monday was really wonderful. We beat some of the people who were still in school...and people who had to go back to work. Even though I thought it was kind of crazy busy, apparently it wasn't. There were times, especially on Monday, that there were no lines and we could go down the rides as quickly as we could climb up those nasty stairs


Tim, being the Numbers Man, counted the stairs. To get to the upper rides, it was 91 steps. The lower set of rides was 70 steps. I lost count of how many times we did each ride, but it is needless to say we climbed thousands of stairs in those two days of playing. I was continually thankful for the running that I had been doing the last couple of months. Without that, I would have been one sorry mama. Even so, I couldn't hardly keep up with my kids and their boundless energy. I rode Daria's favorite ride, the Howlin' Tornado, several times when there was no waiting line. She still had to wait for me at the top of those 91 stairs a couple of times. Her Awesomeness and my Aging Body side by side again!!

So how do I even begin to tell about all there is to do at The Lodge. I have oodles of pictures, so I think I will use that to tell the story from here on out. We each had our favorite parts of the park. I loved the River Canyon Run. It was one of those 91-step rides! It was fast, curvy, with a few splashes in between. The part I liked about it the most was that it could seat five riders. That meant that we could all go together...and we did...several times. Here is a picture of a few of us at the bottom. Unfortunately...its hard to get a picture of all five of us riding when one needs to take a picture. Luke isn't in the boat because he was running out of steam about the time we got to this picture. Tim, of course, took the picture.




Because Tim took the pictures, there aren't a lot with him in them. The thing that impressed me about our vacation to The Lodge, is that Tim seemed to enjoy himself too. And that is saying something, in my opinion! (I'm sure it helped that our night was paid for by the kids' winnings!) Tim enjoyed just going and going and going. I'm pretty sure that he climbed those stairs a lot more than the rest of us. I'm secretly pleased that he was complaining that his hips were hurting by the end of our stay. Mr. Macho rarely complains of anything in that department and he's always smokin' the rest of us with his prowess. So there! I think one of my favorite pictures is of him at the bottom of one of the slides. For me, it says a lot!



Luke, for whom all of life is an adventure to experience, The Lodge was the little man's paradise. I was impressed with how much he went, and went, and went. He did have a few times where he needed to rest...but after a little snack...he would be off with a jump and a run. When he got tired of climbing the stairs, he would run to the wave pool, to the shooting guns pool, or hop to the lily pads.



Each slide he went down, he would throw his hands up in the air and yell: "No hands, Mom! Are your hands up?" Usually, mine were...but near the end of the time, I just tried to relax while we roared down the slides. As I was glancing through the pictures this morning, I had to laugh at how many times he had his hands over his eyes as we went into our splash landings. Silly boy...he even had goggles on!!




True to his differences from his brother, getting Caden to experience the whole of The Lodge was kind of like pulling teeth. A friend of his had told him that he had fallen out of one of the rides and would have drown if his dad hadn't grabbed him. I'm sure that was just Little Man Testosterone playing up the story, but Caden had taken it fully to heart. Our first time down the Canyon River Run, we literally had to drag him up there. He thought for sure that he was going to die. We climbed into the boat and he grasped those handles with all he was worth. We tried to play up the fun as much as we could. We held up our hands, we laughed and smiled...but Caden had his death grip going on both his hands...and his eyes!! Wish we had had a camera at that point. When we made it to the bottom, he declared that it wasn't that bad. Even so, I noticed throughout the day, that when we roared down that Canyon Run...four of us had our hands up high, laughing out loud...and the last one managed to maybe get his hands up to about shoulder high. When we finally got him to go on the Howlin' Tornado, I thought for sure we had made the ultimate victory. We got to the bottom...and if that boy had known cursing words...I'm sure he would have told us a few! Oh well....we tried. The picture I loved of him, was the one where his hands are up high....not on the Canyon Run....but a victory none the less.



Daria is an animal on the soccer field. She throws her whole body into the experience and loves dominating her opponents. I hardly recognize her when she is on the prowl...kind of like her dad. She took on The Lodge with the same gusto. On one of the rides that can be a two-person ride, I rode with her a couple of times. She would sit herself up high and throw her body into the corners, squeezing every last thrill that she could out of the ride. I thought for sure she would tip us over with her enthusiasm. You can see her attentiveness in this picture:

Her favorite ride was the Howlin' Tornado. It has this 30 foot drop in one section that just about makes my stomach flip every time. My first time down that one was going backwards and that was a little gut-wrenching. Daria loved it. When the lines were low, she would race to the top and giggle with excitement when she would head down that drop backwards. She could hardly contain herself. I was always thankful to be going down frontwards! So...we both won. haha. Here we are at the bottom:


There was a lot of other things to enjoy there. The kids really enjoyed the wave pool. I didn't so much. Maybe if I had taken a tube out there, it would have been better. I found that there were just too many people for me to really find it worthwhile.


The kids also enjoyed the pool that had a floating beaver and a floating snake in it. It was fun to climb on and push each other off. We got a few laughs doing that as well.


Well...that is a pretty good summary of our Lodge experience. Even though we were tired, and our bodies were a little rashy from the chemicals, we all were a little reluctant to leave. Even as we were walking out the doors, the kids were begging to come back again some day. I'm hoping that someday we will. It's not often that we find something that makes all of us happy! Here we are as we are headed out the door....tired...hungry...and happy!

And that's all she wrote!

THE END!

Running Duo

For the last 6 months or so, I've been running. I always want to put that word in quotes because I would never really qualify myself as a runner. In fact, I've always just about downright hated running, unless it had a purpose...like playing basketball. After listening to a friend of mine talk about how running seemed to help her mood and attitude, I decided I should give it a try. (Can you tell I was desperate to do something about my awful attitude?!?)

I love to watch others run. Some make it look so darn easy, and I yearn for running to come with ease and grace like them. Others, when I watch them, make me feel pretty darn okay about my running. I cheer for them and mentally scream, "You go! Awesome! Keep it up." Or there are those that make me think: If they can run, then by golly, so can I.

So, I keep on running. I have yet to find the ease and grace. I still have yet to find the fun in it. But after completing a run, I find a little bit of satisfaction...maybe even a little pride.

To challenge myself, I have run a couple of 10Ks (6.2 miles). I ran one back in April as a fundraiser for Tilikum. I decided I needed another boost in my ego, so I ran another one last weekend. At the last minute, I decided to see if Daria wanted to run the 5K with a friend. She said yes! So, off the two of us went.

I didn't accomplish anything grand....BUT...I did finish...and that is always a good feeling. The fun thing about running a 10K is that, for me, it is doing something beyond what I think I'm capable of. I overheard someone say to someone once: "Never underestimate what you can accomplish." I kept reminding myself of that as I ran my little 10K. Like I said, I wasn't grand...but I finished...and that is something!

I don't know why I was surprised, because my daughter is always blowing me away with the things she can accomplish, but Daria came in third in her age group for completing the 5K (3.1 miles)! She ran the whole way!! I was impressed because, even though she plays awesome soccer, she doesn't run distance at all. On top of that, she totally rocked my typical 5K time. I usually run about 3.2 miles every day and she blew my time out of the water! Not sure if that is a testament to her awesomeness or an indictment to my aging body and my diminishing abilities!! Either way...she rocked!

Here we are as I am nearing the finish of my 10K. After waiting a while for me to finish, Daria backtracked and found me just before the finish line.


See? I really did run. And I ran the entire time. I promise.


Roses for the Victors.

I want to write again.

My life lately has felt consumed lately with the lives of my children. I know that is what I signed up for when we started this adventure of parenthood. Most days I am content with that and find joy in the journey. Yet sometimes, I struggle with feeling like I'm losing myself in the process.

Who am I? What is my purpose? What impact am I making on anything? I know. When I sit down and think on it with a logical process, I can answer all those. Yet the feelings are still there. Feelings aren't to be trusted. They aren't always accurate. I know. I know.

In the feeling "lost," I feel like I've lost my voice. I want to write. I loved the feeling of a completed thought and project as I would leave a post out there for "someone"...."anyone"...to read. But when I have sat down here lately, there has been nothing. Nothing to write about.

Seems like a crazy thought, but I'm sort of praying that God would give me something to write about again. My heart yearns for it.

Weekend Happenings: Holiday Style

We had a busy weekend. (I kind of chuckle when I write that...as life always seems to be busy these days!) Lots of Christmas Season events.

Thursday night was spent watching Daria and Luke perform in their school's Winter Program. Our school is getting big enough that only half the school participated in the Winter Program. The other half of the school will perform in the Spring. Caden had fun sitting with me watching his siblings perform.

Their program this year was called "The Case for the December Symbols." It was staged like a court room and each symbol for the December Holidays stated their "case" as to why they were the greatest symbol. It was really well done and thus the kids were able to do a Nativity and sing Christmas carols. Fabulous!!

We were sitting in the wrong spot to get a good picture of Luke, but you can see him peeking out just over the shoulder of Judge Jessie!


Daria played the Menorah. (Now you come up with a Menorah costume. oh my!!!)



They did a wonderful job.

The kids also participated in their church Christmas program too. It was fun to see at least 2 of the 3 actually sing. I did see Luke's lips move a little....debatable if he actually sang though!!


I hate to say it...but I kind of thought that Luke looked like a girl! It didn't help the matter any that he was the only boy up there during his age groups songs! He was still pretty cute, though.

We also finally got our tree this weekend too. I was hoping to post some pictures...but the program isn't letting me. I'll try and add them in another post. I'm glad our busy weekend is over....but looking ahead to my busy week doesn't give me much hope of rest. I'm looking forward to Christmas Eve when all the bussle is done and the true celebration of being with family begins.