Beautifully Broken

Christmas has passed. January is in full swing. I’m not overly fond of Oregon winters. Lots of rain and gray skies. Rarely are we cold enough for snow and if it does snow it never lasts for long. 

I love snow, though. I always say that snow gives cold purpose!  Yet, here I live where snow is rare. 

So, as a preschool teacher, I love bringing snow into my class….sort of.  I love decorating my bulletin boards with lots of snowflakes. This is my second January that I’ve gotten a little obsessive about cutting out coffee-filter snowflakes. I saved my favorites from last year and have been cutting out several more. I love the “patterns” I can find on line. They are so easy and I have fun making them. It makes me feel like maybe I’m just a *smidge* creative.  

 

Yesterday, I decided to try making snowflakes out of cupcake liners. Same shape, just smaller, so why not? It worked brilliantly. I’ve been super thankful for my small, sharp scissors I bought a couple of years ago. I’ve made some cute little snowflakes. I’m in love. 

Today, I was cutting my last couple of snowflakes. I’ve got plenty now. (Enough already, Christine!) By now, I was getting a little confident with my cutting skills, and I was getting a little braver trying more intricate cuts. I was super excited to see what my latest creation would look like, when…..*snip*….my cut when too deep and I lost a large portion of my little snowflake. *sigh* Being sure it was beyond hope,  I carefully opened it, and as I got it part way open, I gasped. Instead of being ruined with a gaping hole, I found it to be really quite beautiful. (At least in the eyes of its creator!)

As I delighted in my little snowflake (really I delight in all my little snowflakes), I felt a tiny nudge in my spirit. This year, I have felt utterly broken. Torn apart. Worthless. Cast aside. I’m that snowflake. Some have cut me a little too deeply. Parts of me have been cut off. Yet, my Creator finds me beautiful!

In the pre-kindergarten curriculum that I’m teaching, we talk a lot about how much God loves us. Today, (!!) we talked about how He made each one of us unique and special. There is no one in the world who is exactly like me. I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, to do good works, which He’s prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)

I’ve had a hard time believing what my Creator says about me. He and I are working on that.   I believe, Jesus. Help my unbelief. 

I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139: 14