The Meanest Mom in the World Award goes to....

ME!

Yes....I am pleased to announce that I have officially been crowned the Meanest Mom in the World. My sincerest apologies go out to all those other Mean Moms out there who were waiting with bated breath to find themselves award this auspicious (or should I say audacious?) title.

With this title comes many perks and accolades. Screams of anger and frustration. Whines. Tears...(honest to goodness tears) of spite. Kicks of tempers. Demands of further labor on my account. Further misdeeds to draw further negative attention.

I shall now share with other aspiring Mean Moms just what accomplishments I have risen to that has taken me to such soaring heights of fame.

• With cruelty of no reason, I disallowed my daughter the pleasure of a sucker right before lunch. (She never has sugar, you know.) I never let them have suckers at all.
  
• Under the same circumstances, I disallowed my daughter the honor of having a pudding before lunch.
  
• Juice boxes were also disallowed.....we won't even go into reasons why.
  

• Also, to my credit, in spite of numerous requests, tempers, and nasty glares, I have held my ground and my answers have remained firm.

Please note, that all these wonderful, Mean Mom things were accomplished while watering flowers in preparation for leaving for Family Camp. It was declared that surely she would die of starvation before I went into the house to fix lunch. At this, I was able to bestow upon her the honor of her own award. I told her she would be quite famous if she surely were to die from hunger in the next five minutes. She honored that award with a glare and stomping of the foot. I felt doubly honored.

Disclaimer: There are no guarantees that this honorable award will be bestowed upon you if you were to follow these guidelines. They just worked for me.

Thank you....::::::curtsy to my adoring fans::::::::.......Thank you!