Take a Long Leap off a Very Short Pier

Please don't ask me about today's title. I wanted something "catchy" for Leap Day....but that was about as catchy as I can get at this time of night. For some reason it caught me as I was thinking of "Leap." Maybe it is because it is what I should do right now.

I admit. I was a little crabby today.

Seems like women today wear a lot of hats. I am not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination....so it is safe to assume that I am not talking about the literal hats that we wear. I'm talking about our daily collection of hats that we shuffle each day. The Hat of being Chef Extraordinaire...or in my case, Ordinaire. The Hat of Keeper of a Cleanly Home and Garments. Taxi Driver. Chauffer. Nurse. Psychologist. Referee. Baker. Event Planner. Friend. Cheerleader. Encourager.

Those are just a smattering of the hats that I wore today.

Sometimes I don't shuffle my hats all that gracefully. In fact, I probably bumble them up more than I handle them with grace. I hate the bumbling; and, yet I am so good at the bumbling. Darn it. When we screw up, mess up, placing a blemish on a good thought, should we just write off all our efforts and say "It is the thought that counts?" Or should we press on towards the goal? Do we throw away? Or should we extend grace?

Man, I am struggling with my thoughts right now. So, in the words of Forrest Gump: that's all I have to say about that.

Happy Leap Day! Hope you made the best of your "Extra" day!!

Thankful Thursday

And I stand, I stand in awe of You
I stand, I stand in awe of You
Holy God, to whom all praise is due
I stand in awe of You.

I don't know why it is that God still amazes me. Why am I surprised when God does something completely unexpected? With God, all things are possible. Today, I stand in awe of my awesome, amazing, surprising God.

• I am so thankful today for the way God is using my MIT ladies. What an amazing, incredible, surprising time we had praying today. Caden's teacher is pregnant....due in about 3 weeks. Right now, the baby is breech. They are doing a procedure tomorrow to hopefully turn the baby. Also, it was discovered yesterday that her amniotic fluid is low. Chances are fairly high that they will take the baby by c-section tomorrow. Needless to say, Caden's teacher is a little nervous. She asked two of our MIT moms to pray for her. After our prayer time this morning, one of the moms suggested that we ask her if we could pray with her. She agreed! So, while one of us watched her class and got them to music, the rest of us were able to surround her, lay our hands on her, and pray with her. I find that utterly amazing! I believe that she has a Catholic background....so she has knowledge of Him, but I do not know the true status of her heart in relation to God. I've been led to believe that she is not a believer. God knows. But, what an amazing thing!!! What God does through our prayers.....and what He may possible do with our prayers, I find totally, and utterly amazing. I stand in awe.
  

• I thankful for another 100% that Caden got on his spelling test this week. I just love seeing the success.
  

• I am thankful for the beautiful sunshine, the warm temperatures and the blooming flowers that hint at the hope of Spring. Today, it spoke volumes to me of God's love. I stand in awe.
  

Luke's "Experimick"

At the risk of offending people or having my blog reported, I had to post the pictures of Luke doing his "experimick" yesterday. He's so stinkin' cute!

Of course, his experimick was with water...so we had to get naked......



Notice the eye rolling action in this next picture. I tried to get him to give me the look he gave me when he saw the naked bun picture....this sort of gives the idea!



Good bye!

It's MY blog and I'll say what I want!!

I think I have sat down at this computer at least 3 or 4 times today to write out a post. Not that I didn't have anything to say. It was just that every time I tried to "multi-task" some little body would jump in and take over the computer. Once Tim is home from work I might as well kiss the computer good night. If I wait long enough, Tim starts nodding off at the computer and heads to bed. Once he is in bed, then I can finally hear the quiet enough to think. There are no little, or big, voices asking me for one more thing. I wish that I were a better morning person....then I could stay up into the wee hours of the night to have those lengthy moments of just Me that I seem to crave so much.

I find, as a mother of three, that things that completely belong to me are rare. My family seems to have the motto: "What is mine is mine...and what is Mom's is mine." I cannot tell you how many times I reach for my cup to take a drink from a supposedly full cup, only to find that it is bone-dry. I'll look at Luke and ask, "Who drank my tea?" He gives me his sweet, little devil-grin and declares, "I did!! hee hee hee!" I've come to point where I drink more coffee, because that is the one drink that no one seems to want to share.

I also find that I am hiding and stashing things that I don't want to share. As if I didn't have a big enough hording problem as it was. I find that I have to disguise my treats....otherwise all these greedy little monkey-children gobble them all up. It seems like in our house, there are snacks that are "Dad's." For the most part, he is the only one who eats them. (I am sure Tim will ask me about this later....so I will insert one word: Doritos.) But, if I should have a snack item that I enjoy.....it isn't mine for long.

I was going to give a snide reason for why I think that is...but I decided that, in the interest of good relations, I will zip my mouth. It is probably for the same reason that my children will come to me while I am sitting on the couch and ask me for a glass of milk. In the meantime, their father will be in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of milk. ASK YOUR DAD!!!

Today, as I longed for just a few minutes on the computer, I found that the sharing of the computer in my household apparently does not include me. If Mom's on it, then, by golly, I think it is my turn. I swear that is what they are thinking, as they ask me all the time, "Is it my turn yet, Mom? When is it my turn?" If I should abandon my chair to get a drink of water, they will jump at the computer like a pack of starving hyenas. I know this is true, because I have watched my boys holding themselves, doing a little dance at the computer, all because they have to go pee so badly, but they don't want someone to steal their turn. Luke will often yell at me as he dashes to the bathroom: "Stay off the computer, Mom, I just have to go pee."

Now I find my hording stretching into larger avenues of desire. I wish that I had a laptop that was Mine....all Mine. I would lock myself in the bedroom....the bathroom if I have to...and just blog away. I could even go to the bathroom without fear of someone commandeering my time. I am sure that I would password protect it and keep Tim off it, too. Maybe not....I'm sure the only remote way of me every getting one would be to promise to share. Aaarrrggghhh.

Okay. Enough complaining from me tonight. I better get quiet before I get myself in trouble. Even though I am enjoying the quiet of the house right now, I am tired. I think I am going to bed.

Good night.

Expression

Stillness, peace, quiet
War with expectations, duties, words
Darkness deepens and beckons
Body, soul, mind

New day reveals well worn paths
Journeys not sought, deemed purposeful
Demanding more from weary
Body, soul, mind

Stillness, peace, quiet
Surround tattered, heavy thoughts
Urging hope, restoring
Body, soul, mind

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're my strength
and you are my salvation
I will put my trust in you.
My heart sings.
In you my soul rejoices
in this song of praise to you

You are the awesome God.
You are the great I am
the only living word
Wonderful Counselor.
You are the Awesome God
You are the first and last
the only Living Word
Age to age, still the same
Awesome God

Morning Blessing

I think that I have admitted on here before that I am a grump. Lord, have mercy, I can be awfully grumpy. The kids and I had a busy weekend while Tim was at Men's Retreat. I typically don't handle the busyness well and that displays itself in grumpiness. Then, on top of that, Silly Me, I agreed to allow one of Daria's friends to spend the night last night. I knew it was going to be a help to her parents....but yikes....Sunday mornings are bad enough without a friend, a sleepover, and no Tim for help.

Lord, have mercy.

This morning, I woke a little before my alarm. The only thing I like about mornings is the quiet; and I lay there enjoying the peaceful moment. As I lay there in bed, thinking about getting up, I noticed that I was singing a song that I have on my iPod. I hadn't heard the song lately....nor have I heard it a lot. So, when I began to think about it, I was a little surprised that it was the song that I was singing.

Soon, Luke came into my room and crawled on the bed, begging me to come out to the living room with him. Quiet time was over. Time to get hussling if we wanted to get to church on time. As I went about my tasks of getting ready, and herding 4 children along, I found myself singing that song that I woke to. I even turned my iPod onto that song and jammed to it for a while. Somehow, by the grace of God, we made it to church this morning without any major arguments, we were all fairly happy....AND....we were on time!

Miracles do happen!

So, I hear you asking, what is the song. It is called "Awesome God." Probably not the one that most of you know. It sure is a fun version. The singer is male, and I envision this big, black guy praising with his whole heart, soul, mind, and body. It has a great beat that typical Quaker churches do not have in their repertoires....or at least not in the Quaker churches that I have been a part of!

You're my strength
and you are my salvation
I will put my trust in you.
My heart sings.
In you my soul rejoices
in this song of praise to you

You are the awesome God.
You are the great I am
the only living word
Wonderful Counselor.
You are the Awesome God
You are the first and last
the only Living Word
Age to age, still the same
Awesome God

"Forget the former things: do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

Saturday Morning Conversation

This is the conversation I overheard from my boys this morning:

Luke: Aaaahhhh!! You punched me!

Caden: No, I didn't.

Luke: Yes, you did!

Caden: No, I didn't. I kicked you.

Borders Lie in Pleasant Places

Today was a day to accomplish a thousand errands. I've been such an avoider of the necessary lately....and today the avoiding could happen no more. So, after Daria's piano lessons, I loaded up the kids and we headed out for a day of errands. We accomplished quite a lot. For that, I am grateful.

My kids are never overly thrilled with errands. But, then again, neither am I. Especially with three kids in tow. Sometimes, they can be bribed with a treat or lunch out. Sometimes that promise works....and sometimes it doesn't. Today....the outcome was a little less than ideal. I won't go into details. The details aren't worth the time, words, and energy to type them out. Needless to say, we were all glad to finally come home.

Even with the frustrations of errand running, I found myself being thankful for the place that God has me right now. We were driving home from Woodburn via Newberg, and I was just filled with gratitude. The scenery along that route is beautiful and bountiful. The area is filled with garden nurseries, tree farms, a state park, and a beautiful river. As I surveyed my surroundings, I was thankful. I was thankful for living in a beautiful state. I was thankful for my home that is just right for us....my blessing from God. I was thankful for my beautiful, mouthy, sassy, healthy children. I was thankful for my husband, his job, and our income.

Our boundaries definitely lie in pleasant places.

As I was thinking about these things, driving down the road, the rain began to pour. And I do mean pour. Even with the rough spots in life....even with the crazy, disobedient, frustrating times with my children, life is good. I am glad that, today, I had the eyes to see that blessing.

May I always be able to see.

Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.....

Another week. Another Thankful Thursday. My, how time flies!!! I can hardly believe that another week has gone by. Before I know it my children will be grown and moving out of the house. Maybe if I take all the batteries out of the clocks, time will stand still. Guess not. So, I guess I will just take the time to be thankful for each day, each moment.

• This week, I am thankful that Luke has found a good friend. His mom prays with me during our Moms In Touch time. They have had two playdates together...and they have really done well together. Today, I had Sam and his little brother over so that their mom could do a couple of errands. The kids had a great time, hardly any messes, and we were all blessed. We had a fun morning. Bonus: Luke and Sam will be in the same kindergarten class next year!!
  

• I am so thankful for Caden's improvement in spelling. If you doubt that, please see yesterday's post. Words can not adequately describe the depth of my gratitude.
  

• I am thankful that Tim gets to go on Men's Retreat this weekend. I am a little jealous that it isn't me....but I am glad that he is taking the time to go, relax, and hopefully have a good time. I'm hoping they get a little sunshine on the coast this weekend.
  

• I am thankful that Caden's teacher has had a healthy pregnancy so far. She is due in 4 weeks and is hoping to teach for 3 more. We are praying that all will continue to go well....and that a suitable substitute will be found. She has been a wonderful teacher this year.
  

• I have also been VERY thankful for the beautiful sunshine we have had lately. Wonderful!
  

Well, Luke and I are off to a baby shower soon. The parents are taking a little bit of school time to throw a little party for Caden's teacher. Should be fun.

Have a happy Thankful Thursday!!

Doing a Mommy Dance!!

For the last hour I have been going around this house and doing a little jig every once in a while. I'm sure that I would probably be committed if anyone were to take a peek at me in those wild little Mommy moments. I am just so proud and excited that I can't hardly stand it.

Caden came home from school today and he had only missed ONE word on his spelling test. On the front have of the test that is recorded for grades, he got 100%!!! He was so excited that he could hardly get the words out fast enough when he climbed into the van. He has been drowning in the praise since then. It is so fun to see some positive results out of the semi-difficult changes we have had to make lately. Yee haw!!

To put a cherry on top, he had finished the majority of his homework during reading group time. I was so thrilled!!! It only took us about 15 minutes to finish homework tonight. I so needed that change as we have to dash to soccer practice in a few minutes.

Anyway.....I've just been dancing around the house like a crazy woman singing praises to Caden and to my Jesus who made it possible.

Ain't it grand????

Toast

Toast is an interesting word to contemplate tonight. It has been a long day. A day full of demands.

Toast as defined on the web: goner: a person in desperate straits; someone doomed. That defines me right now. I feel like if I am asked for one more thing tonight, I am going to pop a gasket. I hate feeling that way.

When I looked up toast on the web dictionary, I found the above definition that I wanted to use to adequately describe the way I have felt tonight. Yet, I was struck by the other, more traditional definition of toast: To brown by direct or oven heat; toasted bread. In some respects, I feel like the heat got turned up on my day and I started to get a little brown around the edges. I guess the heat has to get pretty intense in order to get browned. The bread will not become toast sitting in a cold oven....no matter how long it is left in there. It would probably just get a little stale and hard as a brick.

Another definition of toast caught my attention too. Toast: To brown the outside of a seed or nut to heighten flavor. That thought kind of gave me a swift kick in the seat of my pants. I can either let my day make me a goner....someone doomed to the depths despair....or allow the heat of my day to heighten my flavor.

Hmmmmm.....toast is sounding pretty good about now.

Couldn't Pass it Up

We had a wonderful celebration at our church tonight. There is a young boy who attends our church who is an excellent juggler. I enjoy watching him immensely. He really is talented.

Thanks to my neighbor, Ryan, I have this wonderful youtube to share with you. It is very similar to the juggling act that this young lad did at our church tonight. The fellow on the clip...takes it a notch higher. I couldn't pass it up, sharing it with you all. It gave me quite a laugh.

Thanks, Ryan!!

Drive to Be the Best

I have found it interesting to have my daughter involved in sports. I love to watch her play. I love seeing her skills develop and become pretty good at something. I also find my competitive nature come to the surface. I find that there is a small, or not so small, part of me that wants her to be the best....or at least near one of the best. I find it a pleasure to encourage her skills and her desire to play soccer.

I find it interesting to sit among other competitive parents. To listen to them talk about the different sports programs they place their children in. Here are these parents of 8-9 year old girls, and they almost sound obsessed. They have them in a skills class on Monday. Winter soccer practice on Wednesdays. Another skills class on Friday. Games on Saturday. And that is just for one sport. Then I hear them debating which program will develop their child's skills the best. This one parent has placed her daughter in a players development programs that is geared towards girls a year older.

As I listened to this, I find myself struggling with my own decisions for where I have my daughter learning her skills. That competitive edge in me wants to scramble around and get her in all these programs. I feel like if I don't do all these programs that my daughter won't have the competitive edge that she needs to compete when she gets older. Oh, that urge to keep up with the Jones' really takes over in me.

So....where is the balance? I don't know. I think I just have to do what my family can handle. I refuse to make my life crazy for sports. I guess that I will do a bunch of praying about the right balance of that in my life. I just want to sit back and watch my daughter play to the best of her abilities and have a fun time doing it. I would hate my own competitive urges to squash the in-born passion that she has right now.

Life can be so crazy sometimes. Always something to wrestle with!!

Valentine's Fun.

I enjoy doing on-line jigsaw puzzles. Here was a fun one for Valentine's day. I hope this works.
Have fun!

Thankful Thursday....Valentine's Style

Happy Valentine's Day!! How fun that Thankful Thursday falls on Valentine's day this year. I think that I will take time today to be thankful for all the precious people in my life. They mean so much to me!

• Today I am thankful for my precious husband. He has been the rock in my life since the day that I met him. I can't imagine my life without him. I am truly blessed.
  

• I am thankful for my beautiful children. Their presence in my life brings me light, joy, and laughter. That they continue to love me in the midst of my craziness is unfathomable. I cherish my times with them immensely.
  

• I am thankful for my family. For my parents, who have loved, supported, and sacrificed for me in countless ways. I would not be who I was today without them. For my sister, who in countless ways has encouraged me and loved me even when I was annoying. For my nieces and nephews, I find it amazing that they allow me to be a part of their lives. For my grandparents who continue to love and pray for me and have left me some wonderful footprints to follow.
  

• I am thankful for my friends. For my church family, who loves my children and nurtures them, and walks beside me through the phases of my life. For my MIT ladies, who continue to stand with me in prayer and faith. For my cybersisters, who support me in spite of the distance.
  

Most of all, I am thankful for my Jesus who continues to bless me through the wonderful people in my life. He loves me and forgives me even though I don't deserve it. And, He loves me enough not to leave me in the state that I am.....and He gives me the strength to handle the changes. Whew.

Happy Valentine's Day! Take a moment and spread the love.

Kanga and Roo

I was a little curious about something today, so I did a little research. I have heard about the benefit of Kangaroo care for preemies in the hospital. I knew that it was beneficial for the babies, but I wanted to know specifics. Kangaroo care is when the babies are placed on their mother's chest skin to skin. When reading this article, I was once again, in awe. The benefits of kangaroo care are so amazing that one can't help but give praise to God for such attention to details in the human psyche.

Here is a quick rundown of the benefits of skin-to-skin contact with a preemie baby, aka: kangaroo care. In the initial study, done in the country of Colombia, they found that the mortality rate for these babies dropped from 70% to 30%. Personally, I think that is huge. It has also been proven to reduce crying in colicky babies. Sleep time is also increased, as these babies learn to transition through the various sleep stages while being in kangaroo care. Kangaroo care also decreases episodes of apnea, regulates heart rates and body temperatures, and decreases the need for additional oxygen. These babies also show more rapid weight gain and have shorter stays in the hospital. An obvious benefit of kangaroo care, at least to me, is the increased feelings of intimacy and attachment between parent and child. Imagine that.

One thing that the article pointed out was the study done on body temperatures. In one particular study, they said that when suggested to a mother that her baby looked "cold," the mother's body temperature would immediately increase to compensate. In contrast, when it was suggested to the mother that her baby looked "hot," her body temperature decreased. Isn't that just an amazing thing??? That a mother concern for her child's welfare is so innate, that even involuntary body functions respond to her child's needs. As far as I am concerned, only my God can make something so incredible happen.

So what is up with my interest in kangaroo care? I can tell you right now that it does not mean that I am a pregnant. But we have had an occurrence in our household the last couple of days that made me ponder kangaroo care in connection with the changes in our household. Let me explain. Homework time around our house had gotten a little scary lately. It had become a very stressful time for both Caden and I. It had gotten so bad that I had really began to dread the homework hour. Wrapped up in that, lately Caden had been showing signs of struggling with his spelling. This was the bulk of his homework. Oh the fits that we have had to deal with the last couple of weeks. Mine included!

So, last week, I restructured our homework time. Amazingly, Caden has adjusted to it fairly well. We've had a few melt-downs over it.....but still definitely better. So, I moved the time when we did homework, as well as eliminated one of his "excuse" factors. Now, instead of trying to juggle homework and cook dinner at the same time, which was so stressful for me (Caden, too), I am able to sit down at the table and really focus on my son during his homework time. Do you see? Kangaroo care....but with a 6 year old....instead of a preemie.

Homework time has been so much better. Even though we are still at it for a long time, attitudes between both Caden and I have been improved. I've had to sacrifice some of "my time", and my evenings are long, but the less stress in our relationship has been worth it. Another benefit? The last two days Caden has come home only having missed 3 words on his spelling tests....in contrast to the 8-10 missed words previously. Improvement? Yep. I only hope that this means that the improvement will continue. Wouldn't that be grand?

This post has really taken me to task today. I had allowed my distaste for Caden's fits to dictate when we did homework. In doing that, I didn't realize that it really wasn't gaining me anything...it was only causing me more grief in the end. I see other benefits ahead for Caden and I. Remember that last benefit of kangaroo care? The increased intimacy and attachment? I see good things on the horizon.

To remind me of what I felt Jesus saying to me a couple of weeks ago: HOLD ON. Change is coming.

Random Thoughts (it's all I've got to offer!)

I was sitting here staring at the computer trying to decide what to write about today. I figured it had to be something not too terribly deep. I only have a small window to write in the late afternoon/early evening hours any more. When I don't finish on time, things happen like they did yesterday and I am left with an incomplete thought. Incomplete thoughts are really annoying. It makes me think of when I was much younger and I was taking piano lessons. My mom would yell from upstairs every time I left a note natural that should have been flat when I was practicing. As an adult, I can picture her upstairs, biting her tongue, trying not to say anything and finding it impossible. Get my picture?

Yet, I refuse to go back and try to finish yesterday's post. Really, I should just delete it. Instead, I think I will let it stand as a testimony to my poor attention span that comes along with Mental Overloads. Someday, when my kids need proof that they literally drove me to insanity....I will show them that post. Can't even carry on a decent conversation with myself any more!! Ha ha.

So, I was looking around on my computer for a recent, cool picture to post. So, I looked on the comnputer. There are only two pictures that have been downloaded for 2008 so far. The silly thing is....they aren't even our pictures. They are my parents. It gives testimony to the ridiculous amounts of snow they have had this winter.




For all the years that I have now lived in Oregon, I have developed a list of things I love about Oregon...and things I really don't like about Oregon. I imagine that if I lived any where else, I would have the same kind of list. Every place has its pros and cons. For this post, I will only share one pro and one con from that list....the others are pointless right now. The one thing I dislike about Oregon winters, is the dark gray skies. With little sun, everything seems to take on a gray appearance. The one thing that I like about Oregon winters is that it never gets terribly frigid....thus things grow well around here.

So, as my parents wallow through the mounds of snow and slush, my tulips and daffodils have pushed their little heads up several inches out of the ground. That thought always seems to make my parents groan as they look out over their winter wonderland. I love spring and the beautiful flowers. It seems like once February arrives, I am biting at the bit for sunshine and warmer days. I can hardly wait for the first bloom of spring!



Yet, honestly, I would trade our early arrival of spring for a just a smidge of their snow. One last hurrah....that's all I want!

Treasure vs. Trinket

Last night, at my Bethel class, we were talking about the disharmony that entered the world when Adam and Eve chose to eat the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. One comment that was made that struck me was "trading treasure for trinkets." When Adam and Even sinned by eating the fruit, they traded the treasure of Eden and a perfect relationship with God for the trinket of apparent freedom. I say apparent, because really now we are in bondage to our sin.

The mere sound of the words treasure and trinket were particularly striking for me. If you say the words out loud you can almost hear their definitions. Try it. Say "treasure." Doesn't the mere sound of it seem rich and full? It really is a "pretty word." I believe that I have even heard of people naming their daughters Treasure. I know that I have often called my children my "treasures." Treasure, as defined in the American Heritage Dictionary is "a person or thing considered especially precious or valuable." I would definitely considered that very intimate relationship that Adam and Eve had with God as being a treasure....one that is lost to us until we reach heaven's gate.

Now try saying "trinket" out loud. Doesn't it seem to have a tinny kind of sound? To me, it seems to ooze "cheap" and "poorly made." Not a very pretty sounding word....kind of sharp actually. I am pretty sure that I have never heard of any child being named Trinket. Can you imagine the connotations that would have to that poor child? See, trinket, as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary is "a trivial thing, trifle." What value would that name place on a child? Thankfully, I don't know anyone named that!!

I am not sure that I have any deep and profound thought about this treasure vs. trinket thing. I just found it interesting that the mere sound of these words placed an even deeper meaning onto the words.

**************************************************************
Okay...two hours later I come back to try and complete this thought. Now I am completely lost and I really don't have a way to finish. I guess we'll just leave it at that. If any one has any great way to end it...you can add it to the comments. I thought I could finish this post before the stress of my evening began...and I couldn't. Sorry.

Have a great evening.

Walk a Mile in My Boots

I have had a thought running around in my head for the last couple of days. It is another one of those thoughts where you are never sure what to do with it....what to think about it....etc. So, I guess that I will just write about it and see where I end up with it.

In my few years of being a mother, I have experienced some days that have led me to be less than the mom that I desire to be. Can't say as I was always proud of my responses....in fact, I think my despair over my actions often times fed the problem. In those times, I found it amazing the comments that perfect strangers sometimes made to me. For some reason, they seemed to think that it was their responsibility to add to my guilt and frustration. My prayer, as my kids have moved through certain phases of their lives, has been that I would never forget what it felt like to be in those ugly situations. I don't every want to forget so that I can offer another mom empathy in those situations.

Empathy, as defined by the American Heritage Dictionary, is identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. This week I have been wondering if empathy is a learned response....or is it innate. I know that before I was a mom, I remember thinking that my child will never act that way in a store. Boy...did that thought come back to bite me in the rear end. Now, when I hear a child throwing a fit in a store, I often send a prayer up for the mom. I know what she could be possibly thinking and feeling...and she probably needs all the prayers that she can get at that moment. In this situation, for me, empathy was a learned response. I had to go through the experience before I could really understand.

Maybe my previous judgment came out of a lack of information. Out of my ignorance of the true nature of children maybe I thought the issue was in poor parenting and not out of a tired, hungry, free-willed, strong-willed child. Imagine that....kids have a mind of their own...and they'll express themselves any which they want to! Empathy, in this situation, doesn't come from experience but from knowledge.

Is it possible to be truly empathetic without either knowledge or experience? Maybe I am one of those dense people, who thinks she knows quite a bit but really doesn't, who can only truly empathize through experience. That is kind of the thought that I have been dwelling on this week.

Sometimes I feel like God puts a struggle in my life in order to learn empathy for another. I wish that I could prove that biblically......but right off hand I don't think that I can. As I have mentally dealt with a struggle within my household, God placed a friend in my path who is struggling with the same issue....but magnified. I felt a little convicted. When I am honest with myself, I think, in a small corner of my heart, I had passed judgment on her situation in the past. As I type that out, I find myself strongly convicted. As I listened to her struggle last week, I finally began to understand her struggle that she has talked about for 3 years. Yet, it wasn't until I had nibbled at the experience in my own life, did I really began to empathize with her situation.

That thought leaves me in a quandary. How do I get past that very human trait of observing someone's situation and only looking at it through the glasses of my own experience? How do we really learn empathy? Can we really only empathize if we have had a taste of the experience ourselves? I know that when I take the time to imagine what it would be like, I can begin to imagine the feelings and emotions of another. I guess that I need to learn to just slow down and do just that.

Here is my one last, heretical thought: maybe if I learn that lesson of empathy, maybe God will spare me some trials in my life. I'm pretty sure that isn't how God works.

Counting Sprinkles

Today has been a pretty nice day...all things considered. We've had glimpses of sunshine. Moms in Touch was wonderful....and Luke and I have had a day of games and laughter, even when I should be dashing. It is only appropriate to take a few minutes and count my sprinkles.....giving thanks to God for His many blessings.

• Today I am thankful for the opportunity to be laughed at. I am not completely sure why it is so amusing to watch someone approaching middle age attempting to play an entirely new game system without any instruction....while playing against a cheater (you know who you are!) and being made to look like a fool. Even so, I guess that I learned to laugh a little at myself and have fun anyway. I also learned that I would really enjoy owning a Wii. Though it could cause problems between my children and I.
  

• I am thankful for new ideas that have helped to make home life a little more survivable for me. I am hoping that they will keep on working.
  

• I am thankful for the opportunity to do fun things for my kids....and then for them to appreciate it.
  

• I am thankful for fun times planned with old college roommates. Tomorrow, my roomie from my senior year at George Fox is coming over for lunch with a couple of her kids. I haven't seen her in probably 12 years or so. Then on Saturday, I am attending the homecoming game at George Fox with my roomie from my Jr. year. What fun!! I can hardly wait.
  

It has been a full week of busy. What a great time to pause and be thankful midst the chaos of life.

Now...to get off this computer and get back to work. Happy Thankful Thursday!!

Tuesday Funny

I was taking a peek on my friend, Julie's, blog and she had the most hilarious video up. I think I watched it 3 or 4 times and I cracked up every time. So...of course, I had to add it to mine too. One can never have too many laughs in life. So.....here you go.

Precious Evidence

Yesterday's prayers with Caden was a nice way to end a difficult week struggling over him. Today was the pinnacle of that for me. I hardly know how to write it all out because my heart is full. It is so hard to write out the full circle of faith that I feel God has brought me through this week. There are no adequate words to lay it out.

The last few weeks at Moms In Touch, the focus of my prayers have been for Caden. He has been struggling with the spelling program at school. Doing homework has been a struggle. The whining, crying, complaining, his perceived injustice of life towards him has driven me to the point of breaking more times than I really want to admit. In fact, on this last Thursday, I had someone else lead Moms in Touch because my struggle was overwhelming. I left my request for Caden unspoken. They just prayed for him.

After I prayed with him last night, and I heard his desire to know for sure that Jesus was really in his heart, one of the things that I mentioned to Caden was that he could pray to Jesus anytime that he needed help. One thing that I suggested was that he could pray before his spelling tests if he wanted, and Jesus would be there. After that time, and after blogging about our prayer time, I prayed that Jesus would somehow make Himself known to Caden....a gift somehow that He had heard and answered Caden's prayer.

This evening, Caden and I sat down to do his homework. His spelling test was much improved over last week's. In fact, the teacher wrote "Very Good!!" on the front of his test. So, I mentioned that to Caden. I affirmed to him what the teacher had written....that he had done very good and it was an improvement. Caden's answer to me was: "Mom, I prayed to Jesus before my spelling test today."

Small, precious evidence of Jesus' presence. It was just what Caden and I needed. What else can I say?

Nothing......but thank You.

Angels are Rejoicing!!

I had the greatest pleasure of any parent tonight. What a joy!

My kids are in the process of memorizing Verses for Camps. It is a wonderful program that our church has in order for kids to earn money to go to summer camps. Our Christian Education staff has done a great job picking verses that can lead the kids to salvation.

Caden and I started working on his verses tonight. Wow. He really wants to understand what he is reading....and the Bible doesn't necessarily always use simple phrases. The verses that we studied tonight was John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." We also studied Romans 3:23, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Those verse have some phrases that caused Caden to ask me the question: "What does that mean?"

So, we spent several minutes tonight talking about how everyone on earth has sinned....and on our own we cannot make it into heaven. How do we go to heaven, Mom? Well, we ask Jesus to forgive our sins and come live in our hearts. He had a hard time remembering the stuff he needed to say. He asked me time and again what he needed to say. So, as we were saying our prayers at bedtime, I asked him if he would like to pray with me....to repeat after me what he needed to say. He was very concerned that Jesus would still come into his heart if he did it that way. I told him that if he really meant it in his heart, then Jesus would come and live in his heart.

So, Caden and I prayed that prayer tonight. He still needed a little affirmation that Jesus really did do that. It is a tough concept to grasp!! But, we did talk about Jesus now living in his heart....and Jesus would always be there...we just needed to talk to Him anytime we needed to. He had a lot of questions to ask about what heaven is like. But, then again, don't we all. We've only been given little glimpses into what it will be really like. I told him we can talk about it any time he would like.

So, tonight, the angels rejoice. And so does one certain mommy!!

Worry Free Parenting

Tonight, as I was vegging out in front of the TV, something caught my attention. It is the current Rent-A-Center ad that I have seen a hundred times before. For some reason, this one certain part of it caught my attention tonight. It shows this nursery full of crying babies with a set of new parents observing from the window. As the camera pans around, you see this one peacefully sleeping baby, and on its little hat there is a "Worry Free Guarantee" sticker blazened across the front. Then you see the parents, glowing with pride, sighing in complete and utter peace. Oh, if parenting could only be so easy. Wouldn't it be lovely if God gave us a "worry free guarantee" when He places these lovely treasures into our care? I guess, in some way, He does. If we allow Him to fulfill it.

For the most part, for most of the time, I feel like I live fairly "worry free." (hmmm...maybe not...) That doesn't mean that I don't do my best to live my life in a state of good stewardship. For the most part, I feel like I trust God to help me accomplish in life those things that He has called me to accomplish. I pray often that God will give me wisdom and guidance in living my life, raising my children, etc... in the way that would accomplish what He wants accomplished. God has been with me in the past, He certainly isn't going to abandon me now.

Then there are times when I apparently forget that God is in control and I start to mentally "handle things on my own." Which, of course, is completely and totally insane. There are times where I feel like I wear myself thin with the fretting and fuming I do over issues with my kids. I have seen and can testify to God's faithfulness in the past. So why, at times, do I feel the weight of "gloom and doom" and cry out to God saying things like: "Why in the world are you letting me screw up my children???? Don't you see that I am making a mess of things? I thought you were in control!! Take over, will you!!"

I took a moment here, in the midst of writing this out, to contemplate what I was writing and what am I really trying to say. I can't help but wonder if there are two sides of worry. Worry, as defined in the American Heritage Dictionary, is "to feel uneasy about; be troubled." There are times when I feel overwhelmed with my responsibilities as a parent. When I see one of my kids being completely unreasonable, being rude, and downright obnoxious, I am easily worried that I am screwing up my kids. The thought of correcting that glaring issue is overwhelming, and I worry....I am uneasy and troubled. This leads to me being completely and totally insane.

Then I read further down the definition on worry: "to work under difficulty or hardship." Maybe this is the other side of worry. I have always had a negative feeling about worry. Doesn't the Bible say: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me." John 14:1 Worry is wrong. We should trust God. Isn't that what we were taught and what we have learned? Yet, when I ponder that definition of "to work under difficulty or hardship" I see action. Trusting in God isn't a passive event. We are still required to work....to do what God tells us to do. It may not be easy, it may be difficult and the situation may be a hardship...but we are to trust and obey......to work. Work to accomplish what God has called us to do. Do we just place the situation in God's hands and then just sit back and wait for Him to act? Hmmm. I think not.

This has been a good post for me to write out tonight. I needed it. I don't know if anyone else who reads this will understand a thing I said or if it makes any sense....but that is okay.

I'm pretty sure this one was for me.