Sometimes.....

....when the house is dark and quiet.

.....when I've laid down my work for the day.

....when I've started to pray.

....needs of tomorrow start pouring in.

....the weight becomes unbearable.

....I feel overwhelmed.

....I feel defeated.



Sometimes.....

Mr. Slick Willy

Today's blog is courtesy of my guest blogger....Tim. He was like a kid caught in a candy store, he was so excited about his topic. So....please don't disown me for this blog....just love me in spite of it. So without further ado....here's Tim:



Last Monday, I grabbed a bag of cereal in the garage to bring upstairs. As soon as I picked it up, cereal started falling on the floor because a couple of small holes had been chewed in the bag. I set a couple of mouse traps and caught a mouse before the end of the day. I think my wife was relieved that I caught it. I noticed though that all the cereal that was spilled on the ground was now gone. I asked wife (don't you just love his words of endearment?) if she had been sweeping in the garage but apparently she had not. By Thursday, I had caught 5 mice; but then the traps stopped tripping yet the cheese and peanut butter kept disappearing. The cheese would be nibbled back to the very edge of the narrow plate and the peanut butter would be licked clean. For 3 days, I baited the traps at least twice a day but nothing.

On Sunday, I decided to get serious and broke out 2 more traps for a total of 4. Within half an hour of setting them, all four were licked clean even though all 4 traps were next to each other. My friend, Ryan, gave me an idea. I reset all four traps and set up our video camera. I was determined to know how Mr. Slick Willy was licking them clean without setting them off. I set the camera on night shot and extended play and went to bed. This is what was recorded 2 1/2 hours after going to bed.

Mr Slick Willy's luck finally ran out. So far, no other traps have been licked clean so we might be rid of the mice in the garage for now.


So, there you go. Have I ever mentioned the sick humor that Tim has? You should have seen him watch and rewatch this clip. He'd chuckle every time. The kids thought it was just as hilarious.

Help me...please...I'm living with a bunch of sickos!

"Cool" apparently is all in the eyes of the beholder

A year ago, Daria picked out the above backpack for her school usage. But....after the first day of school, the backpack proved too small for her needs. I was a little bummed because, really, it is an adorable backpack. For the last year, it has sat in the back of the closet waiting for someone to claim it.

This summer, Daria was in need of a backpack to haul her water back and forth to soccer practice. I thought, "Perfect. That cute little backpack will now have a good use." Oh, you would have thought that I was punishing her for the worst crimes for having her use that backpack. The drama that carried on every day was crazy. She finally settled on an old backpack with a broken zipper. To her, it was way better than the adorable, pink and black, sparkly Hello Kitty backpack.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with my friend, Lindsay. She is currently in The Know about what is cool and what isn't. She wanted me to tell Daria that her current back was cool. So, I shared with Lindsay about the Hello Kitty backpack. She looked at me like I was straight out of the Ice Age or something. Like...of course...Daria shouldn't use the Hello Kitty backpack....it is...like...so totally not cool.

Fast forward to my Women's Retreat that I went to this weekend. I needed to bag to carry my bible and stuff around the camp. So, I took Daria's beautiful and unused Hello Kitty bag. I am going on the record to say that all my friends at Retreat thought that my backpack was totally cool. I think that if I had left it unattended for a few minutes, they may have ran off with it. If the chips were in my favor, I may have even been able to "trade up!" Not that I would have wanted to, mind you.

So, Lindsay, I am cool....and so is my backpack. Though, when Daria saw the picture of the backpack on my blog, she said "HEY....that's my backpack!"

Whatever.

Driving Home a Point

I am so loving having my laptop here at camp. I seem to process things so much quicker, and more in depth, when I can type them out. So...I guess you will just have to put up with another wandering post of what I feel like God is teaching me this weekend.

My worlds are colliding again. God is making a point of making a point. I guess it just confirms to me that many lessons in life are never just a one time thing. That if God were to teach us everything we needed to know at one time, we would be overwhelmed and possibly blow a circuit board, if you catch my drift there. So, each day, God is painting another layer of His direction upon my heart. Maybe in the end, there will be a beautiful painting with depth of color and perspective.

I started my solo time today continuing to read about Jesus and the claims that He made while He was here on earth. Today's readings asked me to look at the violent responses to His claims. Of the scriptures that I read today, the responses were amazingly emotional and extreme. He was accused of blasphemy. People tore their clothes at His claims. Twice, they made the attempt to stone Him. They called Him demon-possessed and raving mad. (I found "raving mad" to be particularly descriptive!) The people even attempted to drive Him out of town and over a cliff.

Then my study took me to the claims of Jesus' followers. To them, Jesus was the image of the invisible God, maker of all things, the radiance of God's glory, the exact representation of God's being. He was their Lord, their God, their blessed Hope, and their great God and Savior. Isn't the contrast amazing? From the depths of hell.....to the glorious reaches of Heaven. That was the response of the people of Jesus' day.

As I contemplated this, I began to wonder what my response would have been if I had been walking the streets of Jerusalem in Jesus' day. Would I have been one of the skeptics who cried blasphemy and tore my clothes as I reached for a stone? Or would I have been His devout followers who declared the wonders of who He really was? As I contemplated my doubts in regards to my anger, I took pause at that though. What would my real reaction have been?

Also, as I was reading, I was drawn to some more scriptures that I had highlighted in previous readings. Wow. Another layer to add to the pictures of my life. It was in 2 Peter 1:3-7.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowlede of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has give us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith, goodness, and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self control, and to self control, perseverance, and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

As is often true when we reread scripture, I saw something new that I had seen before. If you notice, there is a progression in these scriptures. First, we start with faith. And then add to faith, goodness. Then add to goodness, knowledge. To knowledge, is added self control. Do you see it? A progression. A layering effect. A process. That was why I made the word "add" so large. For me, it needed to be emphasized.

For me, I think that my progression needs to dwell on the self control and perseverance. I want so badly to have my anger completely eradicated to never be that thorn in my side again. Yet, there is a progression that probably needs to occur in my life. A development of my self-control and my ability to persevere.

As I read these scriptures, I looked below at the footnote comments on this particular scripture. I had to underline a statement in the comments. It said: "These actions do not come automatically; they require hard work." Part of me wilted at the thought of hard work. But then I remembered the sense of satisfaction I often have after I tackle a particularly difficult home project. I am so proud of it. I will often go back and admire the fruits of my hard work, time and again.

I hope that someday, I will be able to look back, and admire the fruits of the hard work that Jesus and I will do together.

Sounds of Retreat

Today, I found a new blessing of my laptop that my sweetie bought me. Here I am, miles away from home, on a spiritual retreat, and I can blog about my experiences almost at the time that they happened. I find that so fun.

One of the blessings that I am finding at retreat this year, is my times alone. Each morning there is a scheduled solo time. A time to be alone with God. That is such a rare time for me. Especially to have a whole hour. (who has that anymore??) Even my free time has been spent predominately by myself. I spent over an hour walking down the beach, with my iPod turned to praise music. It was wonderful. I've been a little surprised at my enjoyment of being alone. As much as I've enjoyed my times with friends, even.

This morning at morning worship, someone made a comment about loving when two of their worlds collide. For me, I define that as when God drives home a lesson. He makes a point. Then He makes a point of remaking that point. Get my drift? Today, at my solo time, I felt like God was making a point of remaking a point for me. Loved that colliding of my worlds.

Like Paul of Old, I have a thorn in the flesh....that, at this point in time, God has chosen not to remove. My anger tends to get the best of me. A failing that I have repented of time and again. And I do mean time and again. I cannot even begin to number the amount of times that I have had to fall on my knees and beg for God's forgiveness....only to turn around and fail again.

A week or so ago, as I lay awake, desperately trying to sleep, I started to pray about numerous things. As I prayed, I realized that though I had often asked God to forgive my anger, I had never asked Him to release me from the bondage of my anger. Isn't that an interesting thought? Quick to ask for forgiveness....but failing to asked to be released. That night, I prayed that God would release me from my anger. I decided that I would pray for that as long as it took for God to answer. I plan on storming the gates of heaven, if I must.

Today, during my solo time, I was reading in Colossians 2. I was doing a study on the names that had been given Jesus by others. As I read, I was drawn to verses that I had highlighted before. These are the snippets of scripture that I read from Colossians:

"Christ, who is the head over every power and authority..." (vs. 10)

"In Him, you were circumcised, in the putting off of the sinful nature...circumcision done by Christ" (vs. 11)

"He forgave us all our sins" (vs. 13)

"He took it away, nailing it to the cross...." (vs. 14)

"And having disarmed the powers and authorities....triumphing over them by the cross..." (vs 15)

Okay...that was pretty awesome. To think about God circumcising my sinful nature. Circumcise is a pretty descriptive word. When I looked up the word in the dictionary, some of the words used in the definition were cut, removal, amputate. When a little boy is circumcised, that foreskin is gone. Never to be put back on again.

As I continued on again in my name study, I was taken to Matthew 8. It is the story about Jesus healing a man with leprosy. Even after I found the name that Jesus was called, I was drawn to a part of the story.

"'Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.'

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said, 'Be clean'

Immediately he was cured of his leprosy."

Immediately. A word that I understand. Yet, sometime God chooses not to be immediate. Even so, I really felt like God was telling me that He is willing. He is willing. And I know that my God is able. He can cure the leper. He can free the demon-possessed. He can raise the dead. Yet somehow there is a part of me that says that though God is willing...and He is able...I will not be freed from my anger. My anger will win out every time. How wrong that is to think that I am not able to be freed. That is telling my God that He is not bigger than my anger. Why is that so hard to believe? Why is it so hard for me to believe that God will free me? The phrase that came to me at the time was "help my unbelief." I had to look up the scripture where that came from.

I was taken to Mark 9:21-24. It is the story of the demon-possessed boy that Jesus healed.

"Jesus asked the boy's father, 'How long has he been like this?'

'From childhood,' he answered, 'It has often thrown him into the fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us.'

''If you can?' Jesus said. 'Everything is possible for him that believes.'

Immediately, the boy's father exclaimed, 'I do believe, help me to overcome my unbelief!'"

I've decided that that final declaration by the boy's father needs to be my daily declaration as well. I need to say it to myself every day until my heart takes ownership of it. I need to declare it every time I feel the anger boiling in my stomach. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every time.

I DO BELIEVE. HELP ME TO OVERCOME MY UNBELIEF!

Thankful Thursday

Before I head out the door for retreat, I must take the time to be thankful....for there is much to be thankful for.

Today I am thankful for:

• My husband, who is sacrificing much so that I am able to go away this weekend.

• For my children, who work so hard at school....and are allowing me to go as well.

• For my friends who have stepped up and willingly extended help with my kids so that I could go without worries.
  

• For my church, who offers scholarships so that it doesn't cost so much to go.
  

• For my Moms In Touch friends, who never cease to bless me.
  

Thank you, Jesus, for all this....and more.

Retreat!!

Today starts one of my favorite weekends. Women's Retreat. I'm headed to Twin Rocks Friends Camp on the Oregon Coast. I plan to be pampered with gourmet meals....that I have not cooked. For solo times with Jesus. For fun times with friends. For rest.

To get here has been a little stressful. Our schedules right now are beyond crazy. So many times I have thought that I shouldn't go. How can I go when there is so much to do; and, at times, I feel like it is all I can do to keep it going even with Tim helping? Yet, I sit here with all my chores done (or at least the minimum ones I wanted to get done) my stuff is packed, and all I have left to do is pick up Luke, feed him lunch, do his homework, and take him to a friend's house to play.

I may actually make it.

It is interesting. It seems like every year, as I plan to head out the door, the Father of Lies starts his battle. The craziness of life is just a part of his antics. Worry is also another factor. I worry that I may get in an accident in my travels to and fro from the camp. I worry that one of my kids will be hurt and I won't be there. Worry. Isn't it awful. The robber of joy and peace.

How wonderful it was to pray this morning at Moms in Touch. To hear my friends bless me with their prayers. To start my heart in an attitude of prayer as I prepare to leave my home and responsibilities behind, waging the battle with Jesus by my side.

Ah. I am in Retreat.

More....for me than for anyone else....

After I received the message from Daria's coach, I sent him a thank you. I appreciated him so much taking the time to write Daria that message. He sent me a reply just now, and I just wanted to post it so that it was with all the "stuff" that I want to store up and ponder in my heart.....

Hey Christine,

Your very welcome. I tend to have a knack for timing when its needed
it seems.

I hope the intent from that one parent saying Daria should not be in
PDP, is that she should be in classics instead. Otherwise they have no
concept of this game. If Daria ever doubts herself, and you feel I can
help out at all, please let me know. I promise to do it in a way that
won't come out like "well your Mom said". Daria is one of the
strongest players in both our Rec and PDP teams, hands down.

FYI: At yesterdays game, in between her two goals while fighting for
the ball as it came out of bounds, it happen to be headed directly my
way and I saw a look in Daria's eyes that I hadn't seen before. It was
that one look that caused me to write Daria and as a coach, be very
proud.

TEA

Heart of a Lion

A lot of the time, the stuff that I write on this blog are for my own sake. In many ways, my blog has become a treasure. I put things in here that I alone want to remember. I probably should make a back up of it somewhere just in case something happens and the words that I have written are gone forever.

Sometimes when I write something out, it describes my thoughts and feelings in the moment. When I type them out, especially if it is something regarding my children, I hope that my children will read it someday and maybe see a side of themselves, or me, that they hadn't considered before.

I have mentioned before that I love to watch Daria play soccer. She seems to take on a whole new persona when she is out there on the field. I see in her the confidence, grace, and maturity that I am sure will surround her as she grows into the woman that God is calling her to be. I often sit there amazed at, being only 9 years old, how she seems to comprehend the game, what needs to happen, and her complete confidence in getting it done. My thoughts are so hard to describe. She just seems to exude a confidence beyond her years. It is like I get a glimpse into her future when she is out there.

This morning, when I checked our email, there was a message for Daria from one of her coaches. The game yesterday was a tough one and the girls on the other team were pretty aggressive. Daria seemed to take it in stride and played an excellent game. As I read the message from Daria's coach, I instantly teared up. I guess that it just spoke to the pride in my Mama's heart. It resonated with the thoughts that swirl in my mind about my girlie and her abilities. Here is the message that her coach sent:

Dear Daria,

I could see at today's game that the elbowing and shoving started to
push a few of your buttons. I also saw in your eyes that this only
made you more focused and determined to not let them get the
better of you. You showed me today you have the heart of a lion, and
the spirit of a warrior. Well done...

PS, awesome goals.

TEA

Daria just ate up his words this morning.

Yesterday, on the way home from the game, Daria had asked me if playing on her player development team was too hard for her. I was a little surprised at her question because she had played so well, as always. She told me that she heard a mother from the other team say that she (meaning Daria) shouldn't be playing PDP. I reassured her that that mom had no reason to say such a thing.

I thought it was so timely, maybe even God timely, that her coach thought to encourage Daria today. It made me so aware of how thankful I am for the coaches that she has. Daria's team may not be the best ones out there; but, I have watched enough games, and teams with coaches who come across harsh and unfeeling, that I am very thankful for Daria's coaches. Her skills and her confidence has just seemed to explode this year.

And it is so fun to watch.

The Scoringest Trio

Have I mentioned lately that our life revolves around soccer right now? It makes life a little crazy, but I think we are having a pretty good time of it. We had a fun weekend this weekend with 4 soccer games. Whew.

One of my friends is new to the soccer world. Her son is on Caden's team. She mentioned to me one time that she was worried that soccer would be a drudgery...but signed her son up because he wanted to play. I finally had an opportunity to go to Caden's game on Saturday, and I had the pleasure of sitting next to her. She just laughed through the whole game. I would have to say that she had a lot of fun. She told me that she is really enjoying watching her son play. Even though the schedule gets a little crazy, I'm having a lot of fun, too.

This weekend, I got to watch 3 of the 4 games that our family participated in this weekend. Daria and Luke had games at the same time on Saturday, but I was able to watch Daria play today. Each game was a lot of fun to watch.

Luke's game is always a hoot to watch. Those kids are all over the place. But they are sure having a lot of fun doing it. It seems like those kids can hardly go 5 steps without falling down. Cracks me up. Luke is doing really well. I am surprised at his ability to dribble the ball. Of course, he certainly isn't afraid to get in the middle of the fracas and gain control of the ball. He will soon pop out of the crowd, take the long way around and take the ball to the goal. He was really excited to have scored 2 goals on Saturday. I was pretty proud of him!

Then, the boys and I dashed across the soccer complex to get ready for Caden's game. Daria and Tim arrived shortly before kick off from her game across town. Daria's team won. I am sure that she was awesome....as usual. Caden's game was a lot of fun. As I mentioned earlier, I sat next to my friend who was just laughing it up. I was also seated next to the husband of another friend and he was laughing the whole time, too. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Caden's team is doing very well so far. They've won every game....and considering the fact that they have several "newbies" they are doing great!! Caden did awesome too. He sure loves to play and really puts his whole heart into it. Some kids his age aren't totally into the game and you can watch them looking up at the trees as the ball rolls right by them. Not Caden. He's totally into the game and aware all the time where the ball is. He was Mr. Awesome and scored 3 goals! It was pretty important to him that I was there yesterday. Each time he scored, his first thing was to turn and make sure I had seen his glory. I did my best to whoop it up big for him. Not that that is a hard thing to do. I can be a pretty loud Soccer Mom. (I warned my friend!!)

Then today Daria had a game with her competitive team. I really enjoy those games. I am always amazed at the skills of these young girls. I always like to watch Daria. I guess that I am a little envious of her skills. Whether her team wins or loses, I always love to watch her play. Today, her team lost....2-5. And...I'm proud to say that Daria scored those 2 goals!! I've been anxiously awaiting for her to be able to score a goal on this team. Today she did. Times two. She typically plays defense, so her opportunities to score have been limited. The last two games, her coach has put her in as forward. Last week, she probably had about 7 shots on the goal with no success. Today...she had success. Needless to say, not only was I proud....but I was loud!! The other team was a tough team....definitely more aggressive. Our girls sure got muscled around a lot. I was proud of the way that they played.

So. All in all it was a good weekend. I was sure one proud Mama.

Disillusioned....again.

I don't like to come on here and complain. That doesn't ever do me much good. Though, sometimes, I just have to. Otherwise, it just sits in my brain stirring up a storm. Ugh.

I just received a very brief, yet slightly terse, email. I imagine that the person was a little disillusioned themselves. I hate that they have to take a stab at someone. Whatever happened to being polite and discussing things?

Crazy thing. I don't know why I continue to be amazed that it happens in the church. Or maybe I am just amazed that it stings so much coming from some one in the church. Whatever happened to being polite? Whatever happened to thinking the best of people?

I'm stopping there. I feel more ranting coming on than necessary.

Sorry.

Thankful Thursday

After two and half weeks of school, I think I am finally accepting my lot in life of busyness. Either that or I am finally finding some structure and routine amidst the chaos. Either way, I think I am getting the hang of things. I could have myself totally deluded, too!

So, as I start to get into a new routine, I find that I need to be thankful once again. It helps that I have much to be thankful for! Let's get down to business....

• I am thankful for a good start to what looks like a good year. All of my kids seem to be adjusting fairly well to the back-to-school routine. That is a blessing.

• I am thankful that Luke is really enjoying kindergarten. He gets into the van at the end of each day with a huge smile on his face and talking excitedly. That is so cool. I got a chance to see him as he was walking down to class today. They have been learning sign language with their alphabet....and he was actually trying to do what his teacher was doing. He was so intent on watching and doing that he didn't notice me watching. I just loved seeing that focus. I had so worried that learning just wouldn't be his thing. Bonus: He really seems to be behaving in school. So far...so good. I would not have thought that was possible a couple of years ago. Guess all that time spent praying about it has paid off.
  

• I am thankful for Caden's soccer coach. He really seems to be doing a good job. He has a wonderful repoire with the boys and they all look like they are having a grand time. With three kids in soccer, we have had time conflicts with games, so I have yet to see one of his official games. I am hopeful that I will see one this weekend. He loves it.
  

• I am thankful that Moms In Touch started up today. It was so nice to be able to spend that time in prayer......to be reminded of the things that God was so faithful towards this year. So many answers to prayer. It sure bolsters my faith as we step into a new year with a whole new set of needs. God is good.

• I am thankful for Daria's new teacher. So far, she seems to be a wonderful teacher and I am excited to start working with her some more. Another answer to prayer is that our MIT group prayed for a believing teacher for the 4th grade. God was so good to provide!!

So many things to be thankful for. I am sure that I have missed some things. Guess that means that I will have to have another Thankful Thursday....next week!

Happy 300th Post!!

I thought that I would do a goofy, fun thing for my 300th post. But instead, I am just going to do a great big....

THANK YOU, JESUS!!

for my 3ooth post.

Today, I was so discouraged helping Luke do his homework. He's in kindergarten...so it isn't rocket science. He just needed to practice writing a couple of letters. No big deal. But, still it took us almost an hour. Granted...a lot of it was chatting....etc. But on one of his letters that we were "reviewing" it was like we had never done it before. And it was an easy one...the letter "c." Yikes.

So, we finished up. I went and picked up Caden and Daria from school. I picked up the mail and there was a post card. Only a post card. From Luke's teacher. She said:

Dear Christine and Tim,

Luke is such a joy! He has a sweet personality and tries very hard. He has a giving heart.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sharp

Can I just tell you how much this Mommy heart needed that today? Thank you, Jesus!

An awesome 300th post!!

Untitled

I left today's post untitled because I am finding that there is no way to sum up what I'm going to dump in this post. Part of me finds that a little unsettling. Shouldn't everything in life be able to be summed up in some way or another. Maybe by the time I have worked myself to the bottom of this post, I will be able to come up with a title...but right now...it is untitled.

I've always considered myself a pessimist. Rarely do I see the bright side of anything. I think that is why I have been so blown away mentally by our schedule this soccer season. What good can come of it? (There's good in it...and if I remember, I will write about that on my next Thankful Thursday post!) So, maybe that is why I am so blown away about my thoughts right now. I am actually thinking about something optimistically. The funny thing is, I feel like I am optimistic....all by myself....and it is kind of scary.

Isn't it interesting that God chose imperfect vessels such as Man to be the carrier of His Perfect Grace? Even though we are imperfect, God still calls us to do our best to be good representatives of His Perfect Grace. Being humans, we fail....but I would assume as followers of Christ we are seeking to do our best. We fail...but we're trying. Right? Even so, we are imperfect people with imperfect ways, extending imperfect grace as we represent a perfect God who has perfect ways and extends perfect Grace.

I know that there are no perfect churches in the world. They are full of imperfect people. But shouldn't the church be a place where we are learning to be like Christ? Shouldn't we be called to extend grace and forgiveness to one another....as well as to the world? It seems like we all want to be acknowledged as imperfect people who make mistakes...and yet we are so quick to expect perfection out of others. Particularly our leaders. We want grace...and yet we don't extend grace. I am always a little shocked at people who seemingly aren't able, or willing, to extend grace within the church.

That is where I find myself shocked at my optimism. I'm always disappointed at people who choose to walk away, tear down, and/or give up rather than extend grace. I guess that all goes back to being imperfect people.

I don't know where I am going with those thoughts. They kept me up last night later than I wanted them to. Maybe in getting them out, I will find peace with them....and maybe learn how to extend grace, amidst my hurt.

I guess as I type that out, I answer my own frustrations. I suppose when we hurt, extending grace can be hard. If I take time to remember past lessons, I also remember that I must extend grace every time I feel the pain again.

I wish that we could all remember that. I wish we could all be students of grace. To all people. In all things.

I don't know how to finish this post. It is totally imperfect. I am sure if someone were to theologically come along and dissect it....they could find problems with it and take me to task. That's okay. I'm mostly just rambling.

Forgive me.

Ain't that the truth!

Our Garage Sale: The Results

Set-up and Break-down: 4 Hours

Babysitting the Stuff: 6 Hours

Fights: Numerous

Tears: Various

Anger: A plenty

Boredom: Rampant

Frustration: Constant

Profit: $11

Ugh. Garage Sale!

My kids have been hungering for a garage sale for months. They have this ingrained thought that their cast-off treasures are worth oodles of money. They have dreams of taking their oodles of money and buying mountains of new treasures. Whatever.

So, here I am...it is almost 10:00 in the morning. Our garage sale has been "open" for almost an hour now. We have had 2 drive-bys and 2 walk-throughs. We've made absolutely nothing.

For the first 45 minutes or so, I have sat out here by myself. Quietly reading a book. It is a cool...but still fairly comfortable morning. Then....the kids discovered that we were really having the garage sale....NOW. Caden is frantically trying to discover more things to sell. Luke has been scavenging the tables looking for things that he can "rescue." Caden is also currently crying...because Luke wants to buy something of Caden's. Personally...it is garbage. Luke bought it for a quarter. Caden thinks it is worth more. Garbage.

Okay...break there. Had a customer. Woo Hoo. Made $3. That could be our grand total for the day. Not looking very promising.

I have to remind myself....as I sit here bored out of my mind, convinced that this is a total waste of time...that this is for my kids. I am just hoping that we make enough to satisfy each child....at least for a little while. Maybe if I give them a $1 of our currently profits they will be happy with the candy bar they could purchase!

Ha. But what to do with all this stuff when we're done. I don't want it back in my house!!

Sweet Words

I'm not sure if it is just because Luke is my baby....or the fact that everything in life he has resisted, but I have been so worried about kindergarten. I have prayed for months that Luke would love school...and would love learning. I so did not want each school day to become a battle of the wills. Luke and I have battled enough over the years. (Better watch what I say....I'm pretty sure the battles aren't done!) But school...I just didn't want to battle over school.

Can I just say how sweet it has been to hear every day after school...."Mom, I had fun today." Or like today: "Mom, I had a great time today." It makes me want to do a little jig right there. It was especially good to hear that today, because this morning, he said he didn't want to go to kindergarten. And how long do I have to go to school? (Until you're 22, buster!)

As I am praising God for the answer to this prayer, I am hopeful for the second half of those prayers. I have also been praying that Luke would surprise me academically. For some reason, I have felt like Luke would be the child that would show the most signs of struggle academically. I've been mentally bracing myself for the work ahead. I pray that I am not projecting his difficult childhood years into his school years. Oh how I want my son to succeed.

And have fun doing it!

For the First Time....

Even though my kids have been in school for 4 days now, today is the first time that I am alone in my house with absolutely nothing vying for my attention for the next 3 and half hours. If I had written this at 8:00...I would have said 4 hours. But...I have taken a few moments to play on the computer, eat my breakfast, and just enjoy the quiet of my house.

The only bad thing about this time is the battle going on in my mind in how I should spend this very first, uninterrupted morning. I've got laundry to do. House to pick up. Bathrooms to clean. Bedrooms to wade through. Garage Sale to prepare for. I could definitely keep myself extremely busy.

Here is what I long to do. Turn off the phone. Crawl into my bed. And read. Read. Read. And if it strikes me just so, I may even want to sleep.

Depending on what I choose...I may tell you later which idea won over.

Home Improvements!

I have had my home improvement projects brewing on the back burner of my life for the last several weeks. Those projects are now starting to finally get cookin'. It has been a lot of work...and a lot of fun. At this point...I'm not sure which point would win!!

Last week, while trying to juggle our astronomical soccer schedule, as well as do laundry and pack for camping, Tim and I burned the midnight oil ripping out carpet and linoleum. The reason for this? We finally bit the bullet and replaced it all with laminate flooring. I have been dreaming of this for the longest time. I feel so blessed that we finally did it. Sticker shocked, a little. But feeling blessed all the same.

The other blessing in this is that Tim allowed us to hire the job out. He had wanted to do it himself...but I knew that he really had no time to do it. I, for one, could not see it getting done without living in chaos for months on end. I was thankful that my sweet hubby listened to reason. It was a bonus that it gave work to a friend that really needed it. Another bonus: He did a great job!!!

The crazy part of it all...is that I am having so much fun cleaning my floors!!! The first time I swept down the stairs I was torn between doing a jig of joy and crying my eyes out!! I can't tell you how much I have hated trying to keep that carpet clean. As far as I am concerned it has all been worth the tiring work of last week...and the breath-taking checks we've had to write. My house already seems cleaner...and bigger.

Tim has been a little worried that this project will lead to more changes. I'm like...well, duh!! I have this Fabulous Aunt who has wonderful taste....and she's been helping me plot out my paint color changes and such. It is a good thing that I had already decided I wanted to paint....because my beautiful, new floors makes everything look so grungy. I can hardly wait to pull out my paint brushes and get painting!! It is going to be a lot of work...but oh...I can hardly wait!!

So, for fun....I thought I would show you some demolition pictures...and some after shots. The kids even got down into the business of demolition. Luke lost interest in it pretty quickly, but Daria and Caden hung in there for quite a while. I told Tim to take a picture quick...no one would believe that they helped. Daria is dangling from the table because she refused to put on shoes. Her Dad told her she could not walk on the floors with out them. That was her compromise.



The next three pictures show the living room, dining room and stairs after everything had been ripped out and cleaned out. It was just minutes before we left on our camping trip. I was exhausted!!





Okay...now for the drum roll!! Please don't pay attention to the lack of trim work. We left that off so that painting would be easier....and Tim can do the installation. Saved us a little bit of money....and tapework!!


Here is probably my favorite part!! Though it is definitely hard to choose....


And here are my kids enjoying my beautiful living room. I threw them in there for good measure...and so that you would know it really is my house. It almost feels like it belongs to someone else now!!

I've Just Begun

I think today the stressors of my current life have gotten the best of me. I knew that it would get me sooner or later.

I was just hoping for later rather than sooner.

This tunnel looks like it could go on forever.

T'was the First Day of.....

Kindergarten. Second Grade. And Fourth Grade!!

My how time flies. I swear that it was just yesterday and I was holding each one of my babies in my arms for the first time. How is it today that I sent my last baby to school for the very first time? As much as I will enjoy my free mornings while Luke is in school, I will miss having him with me. To have a child with me, period.

But what excitement there was in the house today. Luke had gotten over his apprehension of kindergarten through the kindergarten open house they had last week. He got to see his desk, his hook, and his teacher. He even met a couple of new friends. So, today, he leapt out of bed...gave no fuss over having to wear his school clothes (which looks just like his church clothes that he usually fusses over!), and excitedly climbed into the van to head to his first day of school. Isn't he just too cute????


He had lots of questions. His one concern was what to do first when he got there. After some reassurance he was good to go. The school did things a little different this year. They had all the kids meet in the sanctuary for an assembly instead of heading straight down to their class. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to take a picture of him at his desk. Oh well. So, after a few hugs and kisses and misty eyes, I said good-bye to my last kindergartener.

It was fun to see Daria and Caden's enthusiasm as well. I am so glad that they don't find school a drudgery and that they look forward to getting back to school. Even though I know they were tired, everyone got up very well this morning. I was so thankful.

Here is Caden on his first day of Second grade. (my that sounds old!)


He's just too cute. I could just squish him. I was able to peek in on him when I went to pick up Luke for the day. He looked so cute. Then I saw him again in kinder car line and it was fun watching him dash off to play. He looked so excited!

Then, my baby girl. How can it be that she is in the Fourth Grade?



So independent. (mostly) As I watched her file away to her class, I was struck by how tall and "lady-like" she was becoming. How is it that she grew up so quickly? I am sure that I will blink again and she will be graduating from high school. Time never flew this quickly when I was in school....why does it fly so quickly now that my kids are in school?

It is so hard to believe that all my kids are now in school. I think it really struck me first last night as I was preparing back packs for the next morning. Instead of two, I now had three. It felt so very final.



Tonight, as I prepared to write today's blog, and I was looking over today's pictures. I was struck at how drastically different this year's first day of school picture is from last year's. If you need a refresher....peek here. And now take a look at today:

All three of my babies in school.

All. Three.

Back from the Arctic: The Highlights

Okay. So, we aren't really back from the Arctic....for a while there....I really did think we were at the Arctic this weekend. Must have been body memories.

We went camping this weekend. You knew that. What you didn't know was that I survived. Barely. Even though, overall, we had a good time, and good memories were made, and a whole new slew of stories were hatched, there were times that I was downright miserable. It was one of those camping experiences that I said I never wanted to be a part of. And yet....I was. Darn it! I was, and am, thankful for kids' ability to be oblivious to some circumstances and carry on like nothing is wrong. Making lemonade out of lemons.

This last weekend was opening day for bow hunting season. The last couple of years, the kids and I have tagged along and gone camping while Tim is out hunting. Part of me dreads it, but I usually end up having a good time. The kids enjoy going, too. Especially when their cousins are around. Circumstances were such that we didn't see a whole lot of cousins. Oh well...my kids still managed to have fun. I survived....though there were times I had fun, too.

The campground that we stay at has a lot of fun things for the kids to do. We camped in the same spot as last year....right next to the playground. I love that they kids can get up in the morning and jump right into playing. They love it. The bad thing about that, though, is that it is impossible to get one certain boy to stop playing long enough to eat. I learned to just give Luke stuff he could eat on the run. Once we figured that out, he ate quite a bit!!

The other bonus of our camp spot is the proximity to a pond....that supposedly contains fish. Thanks to Great Uncle David for the fishing poles....and to Uncle Ken for the tackle and experience...and to Uncle Tony for the Powerbait....my kids spent hours at that pond doing their darnedest to catch one of those fish. I should probably thank myself in there, too. I can't tell you how many times I untangled fishing lines....retied on hooks and weights...removed seaweed...and replaced bait. Thankfully, I never had to remove a fish...thought I was more than prepared to do so. I must also thank a couple of Strangers that came at opportune moments to save me from a pickle....or replaced some weights that we had lost. I called them my angels.




Luke got pretty good at casting. Caden did a pretty good job teaching how. He was quite proud of himself for remembering everything that Uncle Ken had taught him. He loved that we would defer to him with our questions. I chose this picture of Luke casting because if you click on it and look in the upper left hand corner...you will see that the hook is covered in seaweed. The pond was FULL of it...and we always lost the bait. Luke and his optimism preferred to fish without bait....because he was catching Seaweed Pokemon. Notice his "Big" catch in the second picture.




Here is a picture of Caden being the expert. He eventually decided that putting on the Powerbait wasn't such a bad idea. I love this picture because it captures them in one of those rare, precious, completely agreeable moments.

The seaweed was so bad that the boys even took to practicing their casting in the grass. Believe it or not...they had more success in the grass than in the pond. Did I mention that the seaweed was bad? Ugh.


After a while...Daria took to a different kind of fishing. The pond was good for something. It was full of tadpoles. The little picture may not show them...but if you click to make it bigger....you'll see them. There were hundreds.


I was amazed at Daria's fearlessness. She picked them up without even a shiver. We had a couple of tadpoles as pets in a bucket at the campsite for a couple of days. They got tipped over the last night...and with a cry...Daria scooped them up and ran them to the pond. Thank goodness they lived. I can't imagine the drama if they hadn't. Here she is trying to scoop up some more tadpoles.

Tim spent a lot of time hunting this year. We didn't see him basically at all on Saturday. They headed out to go hunting at 3:30 in the morning. (ugh) They didn't come back into camp until some time after 8:00 p.m. Sunday, they hunted in the morning, and then spent the rest of the day in camp. That was nice to be together that day. We drove to a nearby lake called Lake Penland. We attempted to fish there as well.

At least some of us did.


I really don't think we had the right gear for fishing. We quickly lost both hooks and weights on the rocks at the bottom of the lake. Caden was so upset. He really loves to fish and had hoped to finally catch one at this lake. It didn't help any that we watched another kid reel in a really nice fish not too far from us. Guess that tells me that I need to invest in some better fishing gear....and learn how to use it!!

After we lost the tackle, we decided to hike around the lake a little. Caden had a hard time finding much joy in that activity. He was still mourning the loss of his gear. Oh well. He did snap out of it long enough to take a picture with this really cool looking tree.
Even with all these fun memories, the biggest impression I have of our camping experience was how stinkin' cold it was. In past years, when things have been a little tough for the Mom, I have put on a smile and done my best to make the best of it. There were a couple of time this last weekend, that I was so miserable that I just cried. I don't think the kids knew....so that is good.

We arrived Friday afternoon to a wonderful afternoon. It was so warm and comfortable. I was really hoping that it would be a good sign for the rest of the weekend. I had seen the temperatures for the Portland area and I knew it was going to be cool. Tim tried to convince me that Eastern Oregon is always warmer. Still....I prepared for cool temperatures. It is a good thing that I did. Even so, I don't feel like I prepared enough.

Saturday started off cloudy and cold. I so did not want to get out of my sleeping bag. I snuggled in my sleeping bag, waiting for a glimmer of the sun. It never came, and my bladder finally drove me from the warmth of my sleeping bag. I quickly pulled out several layers of long-sleeve shirts and fleecies for the kids and I. Somewhere around mid afternoon, the sky cleared and the sun came out. I did manage to get down to one layer of fleece at one point. For a very brief amount of time. I was optimistic again that Sunday would be warmer. We went to bed with a clear sky. I took that as a good sign.

Boy, was I wrong. If I thought that Saturday was cold, Sunday was a freezer. I didn't even want to eat breakfast that morning, because everything seemed too cold. I put twice the amount of layers on the kids and I and I still was so cold. I hated to be envious of my sister in law as she would load her three kids up and haul them to her mom's trailer to keep them warm. I felt like this homeless waif, pleading with her eyes, as she left. I was so pathetic. I was so cold.

Around 11:00 a.m., I had walked up to the bathrooms. As I was leaving, I heard the camphost announce that it was 42 degrees. Still. No wonder I was so cold and my fingers felt like popsicles. I kept looking to the sky....praying for an opening in the clouds to let the sun come in. No such luck. For the most part, the kids were pretty good sports about the cold. I wasn't. Inwardly, I was that homeless waif. Pathetic. And cold. By the end of the day, my shoulders began to ache from scrunching them up. I kept telling myself to relax them...but soon they would creep up again. I think you see my shoulders...and my pathetic look in this picture. Humbling.

If you notice in the background of that picture, you will see that it is pouring. And I mean pouring. Around 7:00 that night....it poured for about 15-20 minutes. And hailed. Tim kept emptying out the top of the tarp over the tent and I would watch it cascade down the sides of the tent. I was so hoping that it wasn't soaking the things inside.

Thankfully, my brother in law had a little propane heater that he loaned to us. Since the fire restrictions are so strict up there, no fires were allowed. I cursed being a Good Little Girl and sticking to the rules. I wanted a fire so badly. We made do with that little heater though the output needed to be several times higher. I tried to be thankful. (Can you tell that Sunday was a dark day for me? Pathetic. And cold.)






I hate to admit it....but Sunday night just about broke me. I was extremely tempted to load my kids up and head for home. The slightest excuse would have sent me there. If I had been Samantha...I would have twinkled my nose and been home...soaking in my hot bath. As we crawled into bed that night, I was so relieved. And yet I dreaded it as well. I knew it was going to be cold. I was praying that it would be a short night...rather than a long night.

We turned the heater on in the tent for a little while that night as we climbed into bed. That was nice, though it took me forever to warm up. 12+ hours of being out in 40 degree weather chills a body out. When Tim left to go hunting, he asked me if I wanted it on. Being nervous about it in the tent, I said no. I so regretted that decision.

Overall, I think we were fairly warm that night. For the most part, I felt warm that morning....but my toes were cold. When Luke climbed in with me, I felt his toes and they felt a little cool, too. I did notice that the condensation was frozen in these perfect little drops on the inside of the tent. Then I noticed that even my breath was leaving frost marks on my sleeping bag. Talk about not wanting to get out of bed! Unfortunately, my bladder forced me out a lot sooner than I wanted!! I was cheered by the fact that I saw a little sunshine on the tent. Yee haw! So, I climbed out to make a trek to the bathroom intending to come crawling back into my sleeping bag. When I got outside, I was pleased to feel the warmth of the sun. It was still cold...but that sun felt so good!!! I was praising Jesus for the sunshine...that's for sure!!

While the kids stayed in their sleeping bags, I pulled out the camera to catch some pictures of the cold. I will only post one....but it proves how cold it was! I think Tim said that at 4:30 in the morning...it had been 28 degrees. He thinks it probably got a little cooler after that.

As the sun cheered my spirit, I had to laugh at my cold weather gear. When I packed, I didn't expect things to get quite so cold. So, my cold weather gear for the weekend was layer after layer of fleece, sweatshirts, vests, etc. I tried to take a picture of myself...but I only got the top half. Embarrassing picture...but kind of funny, too.

But...if you thought I was funny, Daria was downright hilarious.


Even though I spent a lot of time complaining about the cold and the rain, I think we had a good time. In another year or so, I will look back and laugh. Already I am finding some humor in it. I can handle tough things. My attitude just needs to agree with that fact!

In closing, here are a couple of pictures of the cousins on the last day.