For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10
This verse is my promise that God gave me for my Luke. I know that God has big plans for my little man. In the mean time, he is a 5 year old little boy.
And I am his Mom.
Luke and I, and his dad, too, are on a journey together. I would love to say that this journey has smooth paths, with clearly marked turns, round-a-bouts, and forks in the road. Being a person who hates the unknown, I would love to say that I know how to complete this journey from beginning to end. For us, these things aren't true all the time. So maybe instead of calling this a journey....I'm going to call it an adventure. We're on an adventure.
I've heard people say that life is an adventure. One definition I found for adventure is: an activity that comprises risky, dangerous and uncertain experiences. Since life, as an adventure, is usually a long adventure, I will assuredly believe that all of life is not risky and dangerous. Thank goodness. Yet there are certainly going to be times when life is risky or uncertain. For the last couple of months, our adventure has been a little uncertain. More uncertain for me than for Luke....and even for his dad. Maybe because I am the mom and my whole job right now is to raise my son and to make the best choices for him. I am his primary care giver. Okay....I make excuses. I, by nature, take all of life a little uncertain.
For the last couple of months, Luke has been struggling in school. For the most part, he has been thriving in kindergarten; but, in learning his letters and numbers, he has found a challenge. For a boy who loves an adventure....who thrives on adventure....he often "gives up" when things get difficult. When we play a game, if he starts to lose, he will stop the game and "rework" the rules...or just not play . Unfortunately, in the game of school, you can't change the rules. So, in my opinion, he has chosen no longer play.
It has been very difficult to watch my son struggle. When I have discussions with him about him being able to do anything he wants if he just keeps trying and never gives up, I want to cry and throw a little tantrum when he tells me "But, Mom, I've already given up on somethings." How can this smart little boy give up when he is only 5? It breaks my heart.
After a lot of prayer, and a lot of seeking advice, Tim and I have decided to pull Luke out of kindergarten for the year. We are going to give him the gift of another year to mature. This, for me, is where the uncertainty and the unknown I've alluded to in my previous posts, comes to light.
I know that we are making the best decision for Luke at this point in time. I don't believe that this decision will do anything but help him. I have just a lot of uncertainties lurking at me from around every corner. Like....how do I....a person who totally lacks teaching abilities, help my son get the leg up for next year. I'm going to be spending a lot of time researching things....praying....playing with my son and trusting that God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what He is doing.....and where He is guiding us on this little adventure.
I covet your prayers. I will probably be sharing more in the days to come. I've had more thoughts running around in my head than I know what to do with. This has affected me in ways that I would never have quite imagined. Yet, in all things, I will continue to believe that God is good.
Ephesians 2:10
This verse is my promise that God gave me for my Luke. I know that God has big plans for my little man. In the mean time, he is a 5 year old little boy.
And I am his Mom.
Luke and I, and his dad, too, are on a journey together. I would love to say that this journey has smooth paths, with clearly marked turns, round-a-bouts, and forks in the road. Being a person who hates the unknown, I would love to say that I know how to complete this journey from beginning to end. For us, these things aren't true all the time. So maybe instead of calling this a journey....I'm going to call it an adventure. We're on an adventure.
I've heard people say that life is an adventure. One definition I found for adventure is: an activity that comprises risky, dangerous and uncertain experiences. Since life, as an adventure, is usually a long adventure, I will assuredly believe that all of life is not risky and dangerous. Thank goodness. Yet there are certainly going to be times when life is risky or uncertain. For the last couple of months, our adventure has been a little uncertain. More uncertain for me than for Luke....and even for his dad. Maybe because I am the mom and my whole job right now is to raise my son and to make the best choices for him. I am his primary care giver. Okay....I make excuses. I, by nature, take all of life a little uncertain.
For the last couple of months, Luke has been struggling in school. For the most part, he has been thriving in kindergarten; but, in learning his letters and numbers, he has found a challenge. For a boy who loves an adventure....who thrives on adventure....he often "gives up" when things get difficult. When we play a game, if he starts to lose, he will stop the game and "rework" the rules...or just not play . Unfortunately, in the game of school, you can't change the rules. So, in my opinion, he has chosen no longer play.
It has been very difficult to watch my son struggle. When I have discussions with him about him being able to do anything he wants if he just keeps trying and never gives up, I want to cry and throw a little tantrum when he tells me "But, Mom, I've already given up on somethings." How can this smart little boy give up when he is only 5? It breaks my heart.
After a lot of prayer, and a lot of seeking advice, Tim and I have decided to pull Luke out of kindergarten for the year. We are going to give him the gift of another year to mature. This, for me, is where the uncertainty and the unknown I've alluded to in my previous posts, comes to light.
I know that we are making the best decision for Luke at this point in time. I don't believe that this decision will do anything but help him. I have just a lot of uncertainties lurking at me from around every corner. Like....how do I....a person who totally lacks teaching abilities, help my son get the leg up for next year. I'm going to be spending a lot of time researching things....praying....playing with my son and trusting that God, in His infinite wisdom, knows what He is doing.....and where He is guiding us on this little adventure.
I covet your prayers. I will probably be sharing more in the days to come. I've had more thoughts running around in my head than I know what to do with. This has affected me in ways that I would never have quite imagined. Yet, in all things, I will continue to believe that God is good.
1 comments:
Oh, what a huge and difficult decision to make. I can relate to feeling called to do something, yet feeling uncertain, "ungifted," and out of the realm of what's normal. I specifically feel this way about the fact that we homeschool our 7-year-old son. We feel it's the right thing for us to do right now, yet I find it to be very challenging. When I read your post, it reminded me of the book called "Better Late Than Early" by Dr. Raymond Moore. (To be honest, Seth has read this, but I haven't yet!) I have felt supported in reading about the "late" approach; perhaps you would as well.
Blessings,
Elaine
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