Roller Coaster Day

Today has been all over the board. Struggles have brought me low...new passions take me high. I'm not sure that I will rest well tonight. Either that...or I am going to crash like a rock. If I had written this post a couple of hours ago, I probably would have drug us all through the frustrated wanderings of my poor brain.

It is fascinating to me how God works sometimes. Our Sunday school class is going through that book, Do Hard Things. Man, I was smacked in the forehead with it all today. In fact, while I was making dinner, I just wanted to throw a little hissy fit and say: "ENOUGH ALREADY!" At the end of my day, as I sit here in review, I have no idea how to proceed from here. Aaarrgghh!!

Last week, I sat at this very computer asking for prayer for my Luke and his swimming lessons. I was hopeful. Today did not go well. He went to his class reasonably well....but as I watched his lessons progress, I remember praying: "Lord, help him do hard things." There were just little glimmers of things that made me think that things weren't going as I had hoped. Sure enough, at the end of class, his teacher talked to me. Luke stood there with his arms crossed, with eyebrows burrowed deep. That little man has drawn the line in the sand....and it could be a nasty battle. I have no idea what to do. No. Idea. Lord help us.....

Then, my precious, gifted daughter. So very capable. So very talented. So very stubborn. That girl can sure dig her heels in as well. As she sat at the piano, with her arms crossed, and her eyebrows burrowed declaring that she was NOT going to practice, I had had enough. I gave her the riot act.

Quitters. That is what my children are. How do I teach my children to do hard things? It seems that as soon as something becomes mildly difficult, they quit. They don't want to take another step...and if you try and make them then they are going to scream, yell, cry, throw a fit. I so do NOT know what to do. Raising these children to be responsible, contributing adults is hard. Do hard things....I would....if I knew how.

I cannot tell you how much of a relief it was to walk out the door tonight. A precious friend of mine is offering me the best gift ever. The gift of her knowledge...and her time. I walked over to her house tonight to look over her garden/yard. She walked me through and told me bucket loads of information about plants that I thought were beautiful. Then, after quite a bit of time, she walked with me back to my house. We pondered through other people's yards and talked more plants. I am amazed at her wealth of knowledge.

After we arrived at my house, she spent so much time talking with me over my yard. She has ideas for my yard!!! She is going to help me know what in the world to do with them!! She can be so reassuring and makes me feel like I can actually learn to landscape my yard. Her confidence is spreading...and I feel a little liberated. My few, feeble attempts at what I would call "landscaping" have not garnered the "splash" that I have wanted. With that....I feel like I have hit a brick wall. Maybe now, I can get over that.

So, after a long, hard day...I feel a little glimmer of hope. It is so nice to end on a high note. I'm excited. I hope that I can just sleep. I am sure I will....as long as I don't dwell on how I am going to get my children to conquer the hard things in their lives.

Need to get praying......