Clash of Plans, Expecations.....Life

I remember back when I was working and pregnant with Daria. I had these grandiose thought that I would have all this time in my days to do so many things once I was home with my precious little baby. I remember my co-workers chuckling at me under their breath. Today? I am the one laughing out loud at my absolutely ridiculous thoughts!!

I was completely insane. Or just plain ignorant.

Even today, after being a mom for nine years, I sometimes find myself thinking I have all this time. I have so many things and ideas running around in my brain that I just feel like I should be able to get done. And when people ask you me to help, I just feel like I should, and can, say yes. I don't have an outside-the-home job. I should have lots of time to do things, stuff, projects. Right?

Then life settles in. School. Homework. Soccer. Piano. Haircuts. Dentist appointments. Doctor visits. Chess class. And all those things belong to the kids!! They don't include my life of: church, Bible class, volunteering for the school, Moms In Touch, Community Bible Study, and helping friends. In planning things, I also have to include in there my husband's work schedule; which for the last few months has been insanely overwhelming for all of us.

For the last week or so, I have been battling a thought in my mind. I had these grand plans of a spring event that I have been wanting to do. This last week, I finally have had to come to the realization that I really don't have the time right now to plan this event. It is a little discouraging, honestly. I had sort of made it public, and now I just don't see how I can do it. I just don't know how to juggle everything.

Today, I sat in a coffee shop with a few of my friends. Somehow we got discussing my "hours of freedom" that I will have next year once Luke enters kindergarten. I would like to think that I will have all this free time to do all the things that I am dreaming about now. I may just be the new up and coming Martha Stewart. (yeah, right!)

Yet, when I am honest with myself, I feel like I really have to be careful with my time next year. I can see my time next year easily gobbled up by all the things that will beckon me. I am going to make a commitment today to guard a day....just for me. I would like to think that that day will be full of self-pampering....but it will most likely be filled with Home Maintenance.

One of my friends, who has been working a couple of days a week, has quit her job. When she thinks about next school year, her thoughts were: "What will I do with my life now?" For me, I don't see myself asking that question. I can't say that I have exact plans for what I will do with my time while Luke is in school; but, I know that I will have no problem filling my time. I'm pretty sure that my time will be filled pretty quickly without my efforts.

It will be interesting to see where God will take me in the next year. I am anxious to have a little more time to be involved in church, in school, and in others' lives. It could be an adventure.

Should be quite a ride!