Friday (Mis)Adventure

Kids really are a barrel of laughs, I tell you. Keeps me chuckling all the time. Actually about 3 hours ago...I wasn't chuckling so much. I am now the lucky owner of the world's most expensive popcorn kernel. Yep....It cost me the price of the original purchase....plus $30 to have the doctor remove it from Luke's ear. (Where is that "rolling eyes" emoticon when I need it???)

This isn't the first time that one of my children have stuck foreign objects in certain parts of their bodies....only to have to be removed by a medical professional. Grrrr. 6 years ago, when I was about 7 months pregnant with Caden, something like this happened on EASTER SUNDAY!!! My beautiful little girl was sitting in my lap....all decked out in Easter Finery....I was brushing her hair, putting in little tiny barrettes in her cute little hair. Wait...I thought for sure there was another barrette. Daria....where is that other barrette? Where does she point???? UP HER NOSE!!! After several attempts to get it out...which only put it up there higher....I had to take her to the ER to get it out. She was the princess of the ER that beautiful Easter Morning. Fortunately....we were able to get it removed and back to church in time for the second service. You know....I still get people talking about that every Easter Sunday!!

A few years after that, Luke stuck a piece of corn up his nose. I had flashbacks like crazy!! I instantly broke out into a cold sweat. Fog started rolling in and I thought for sure I would faint! God had a sense of humor that day...because that corn caused Luke to sneeze. God must have whispered in my ear that day, too....because I quickly closed the corn-free nostril...and POW.....that piece of corn jet propels itself across the room. The relief was overwhelming!

There is no amount of sneezing that can make a kernel of unpopped popcorn pop out of your ear. I guess I should be glad that Luke told me that there was popcorn in his ear. Can you imagine what might have happened given a few weeks time? How long does it take for a kernel of popcorn to start to rot???? Or cause some nasty infection to come oozing out his ear with a nasty odor??? If you should ever find yourself in this position, where your child/grandchild has stuck popcorn in your ear....just know that tweezers do not work....nor does trying to suck it out with an aspirator.

I was a little surprised at the doctor's laid back attitude. It was the advise nurse that suggested I bring him in. Who wants a foreign object in your ear anyway? He started off by telling me this story about his neighbor boy who has a penchant for putting lead pieces from pencils in his ear. He said that one ear had about 18 pieces and the other 15 pieces. And they had been in there a long time. I wasn't sure what he was trying to say with this. Should I have just left the popcorn in his ear????? His next comment was...."But...since your here...and with organic material...that is a little different story." Like I would leave the popcorn in there??? It was driving Luke nuts! Wouldn't it drive you nuts to have a plugged ear all the time. Whatever! Just get it out.

So, the doctor says that he would like to try to irrigate it out. Then...he makes a comment about..."I don't know what we'll do if that doesn't work....but...not like you'll have to take him to the ER or something." Oh my...that wasn't the most confidence-building statement I have ever heard. If he had truly been our normal pediatrician....I think I would now be trying to find another. (I think he was just a little annoyed to have this silly incident to end his day on....excuse me!)

So, the lesson from this story is.....Irrigation of the ear WILL remove popcorn from the ear of a four year old boy. If, for some reason, he hasn't learned that he should never stick popcorn in his ear....and he sticks another piece in there....I'll try irrigating it myself. I might just save myself $30. Easiest money that doctor ever made.

And....THAT is how I acquired the world's most expensive piece of popcorn!