I'm not sure that I will ever fully understand or grasp the concept of forgiveness. I've been waging an old battle today. Though the original wounds are "old," I've been feeling the pains afresh all day. Forgiveness, for me, is a constant battle. Every time the offense comes to mind, I have to take up my shield of faith and extinguish its flaming arrows. Again. And again. I have to consciously tell myself to stop the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) from invading every aspect of my heart. If I don't ask my Jesus to wage that battle right then....the wound becomes larger than it was before.
God doesn't seem to have those kind of issues with forgiveness. I decided to do a little study this afternoon on forgiveness...because, sometimes, I just can't wrap my mind around it. I am constantly reminded of the times that I fail God and sin once again. It is a daily thing. I resonate so much with that Casting Crowns song, East to West:
I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way
I often feel like I am one mistake away from God leaving me the way I am today. How can God have the patience and the love to forgive me....for the same sin...again? And again. And again. Forgive is defined as: to pardon or acquit of sin. Acquit is defined as: to free or clear from accusation. God pardons me. He wipes my slate clean every day. He does not stand accusing me of my sin. Grasp it, Chris, grasp it.
"You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love." Nehemiah 9:17 Am I slow to anger? Today I wasn't. As I hashed through that old wound, I was angry. Did I feel love? Not really. Just hurt...and disgust. Certainly not very gracious and compassionate. I long to be slow to become angry.
"When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions." Psalm 65:3 Overwhelmed is to be engulfed, submerged, to overcome completely, to overpower. How often do I feel that way about my sins? Daily. Daily.
"Yet he was merciful. He forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath." Psalm 78:38 Doesn't that verse just amaze you? We deserve to be destroyed; and, yet he restrains himself. I had to ask God to help me with that today. I wanted to lash out...to rip apart...to be justified. I am glad that God's mercy can overwhelm my sins and save me from them.
"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you, there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sins and forgives the transgressions of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea." Micah 7:18-19 Is this where we get the concept of God casting our sins into the sea of forgetfulness? Oh how I wish that I could do that! I wish that I could truly let go of offenses and remember them no more. I wish that the memory of them would not cause a new battle to rise up in me again. This is the one concept that I have the most difficult time grasping. How can God truly forget my sins? How can he forgive them once....for all? I understand that we learn from our mistakes. I suppose that if we can't remember the offense...we will never learn. I still wish that I could truly forget.
"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses." Acts 13:38-39 Justify is to declare free of blame. Blame is to think of as responsible or guilty. In Jesus, we aren't even guilty. We can stand faultless before the throne.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8 Do you know what I am struck with here? Two things. 1. The Riches of God's Grace. God is not stingy with his grace. He lavishes it. Riches also speak to me that there is an abundance....there is no worry that the Bank of Grace will foreclose on me. 2. With All Wisdom and Understanding. I forget sometimes that Jesus understands me....he understands my sin. He fully understood what it would mean when he died on the cross to offered me Grace and Mercy.
Those are my wandering thoughts on forgiveness today. Who knows if they really make any sense at all. That's okay. This little mini study, for me, helped me to remove my focus from the battle in my heart and placed it where it should be...on Jesus. Hopefully now that I have written some of my rambling thoughts out, they will stick with me better....ready for battle on another day.
"You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love." Nehemiah 9:17 Am I slow to anger? Today I wasn't. As I hashed through that old wound, I was angry. Did I feel love? Not really. Just hurt...and disgust. Certainly not very gracious and compassionate. I long to be slow to become angry.
"When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions." Psalm 65:3 Overwhelmed is to be engulfed, submerged, to overcome completely, to overpower. How often do I feel that way about my sins? Daily. Daily.
"Yet he was merciful. He forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath." Psalm 78:38 Doesn't that verse just amaze you? We deserve to be destroyed; and, yet he restrains himself. I had to ask God to help me with that today. I wanted to lash out...to rip apart...to be justified. I am glad that God's mercy can overwhelm my sins and save me from them.
"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you, there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sins and forgives the transgressions of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea." Micah 7:18-19 Is this where we get the concept of God casting our sins into the sea of forgetfulness? Oh how I wish that I could do that! I wish that I could truly let go of offenses and remember them no more. I wish that the memory of them would not cause a new battle to rise up in me again. This is the one concept that I have the most difficult time grasping. How can God truly forget my sins? How can he forgive them once....for all? I understand that we learn from our mistakes. I suppose that if we can't remember the offense...we will never learn. I still wish that I could truly forget.
"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses." Acts 13:38-39 Justify is to declare free of blame. Blame is to think of as responsible or guilty. In Jesus, we aren't even guilty. We can stand faultless before the throne.
"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8 Do you know what I am struck with here? Two things. 1. The Riches of God's Grace. God is not stingy with his grace. He lavishes it. Riches also speak to me that there is an abundance....there is no worry that the Bank of Grace will foreclose on me. 2. With All Wisdom and Understanding. I forget sometimes that Jesus understands me....he understands my sin. He fully understood what it would mean when he died on the cross to offered me Grace and Mercy.
Those are my wandering thoughts on forgiveness today. Who knows if they really make any sense at all. That's okay. This little mini study, for me, helped me to remove my focus from the battle in my heart and placed it where it should be...on Jesus. Hopefully now that I have written some of my rambling thoughts out, they will stick with me better....ready for battle on another day.
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