Prayers and Petitions

Right now I have two personal requests that I am praying for. One is purely selfish and of no real consequence. In fact, if God honored my request I would be downright surprised. I certainly don't need the request to be filled....but it would sure be fun. The second request is a little more "necessary" and could have some serious impact. I am struggling with praying for these requests. I find myself stopping and starting, hem-hawing all over the place not sure how to proceed. Even sort of making excuses for asking. Then...finally....just being silent. I know....doesn't make much sense at all.

Do you find it difficult to pray for things for yourself? I do. I love my time of prayer with Moms In Touch. I love to pray for my children. I enjoy praying for others and that seems to be where my main focus is. I find little struggle at all in praying for other people. But, to pray for myself? I find it extremely difficult.....and awkward. Sometimes, I even think that I lack faith. I doubt. Plain and simple.

Doubt? That doesn't seem right. It isn't right. Scripture gets pretty rough about doubting. Take James 1:6-8: "But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." Ouch. I always know that I was unstable....but in all I do? Ouch. And Matthew 21:21-22: "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Why is it so hard for me to ask for personal requests? Why do I doubt that God will answer them? I really don't have answer to those questions myself. I guess that is why I find myself writing this whole mess out. I had a thought just now...that maybe if I don't ask for those things, then I am not disappointed if God chooses not to honor my requests. To ask seems to build up hope. Who wants to have those hopes dashed? Proverbs 13:12: "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." (emphasis mine)

I find myself, then, praying in general terms. Praying that God's will would be done. Nothing wrong with that. Thus, I find myself, in essence, really asking God for nothing at all. How does one truly ask for these requests, in full peace, that we are asking with proper status of heart? How does one ask without that underlying thought that you will be disappointed thus, feeling like you're protecting oneself? How do we truly ask God for anything? Who am I that I ask anything of God?

I don't know. Makes me feel sort of like a hypocrite.

Thankful Thursday

If the only prayer you say in your life is Thank You, that would suffice.
~Meister Eckhart

I seem to be at a loss for words today. Not that I am not thankful. I just don't know how to start. I love the quote above. I saw it on the Mutts comic strip this past Sunday. I was going to post a link to it....but it isn't available online yet. It kind of gets me to thinking. The words "Thank you" can really mean a whole bunch of things, can't it? There is so much that could be packed into those 2 simple words. They definitely have the ability to pack a powerful punch.

Today I am thankful for:

• people in my life who help me to carry my load. For Patty, who watches Luke so I can volunteer at school. For Nancy, who watches our kids while we pray at Moms In Touch. For my kids' Sunday school teachers, who help to teach my kids' about the love God has for them. For people who take the time to drop me an encouraging word. What would I do without them all?

• Technology that makes it easier to carry my load. For washing machines that wash my clothes. For dishwashers that clean my dishes. For the internet, that puts me in contact with family and friends at the touch of a button. For ovens and stoves, that cooks my food. For a good, well-running van to carry us to and fro. And for TVs that allow a Mom a few moments of quiet.
  

• A nation that allows me the freedom to worship my God when I want. The freedom to pray when and where I want. A freedom to be who we were called to be in Christ Jesus.
  

Have you been thankful today?

Redemption

I'm tired. Today was my very long day. For the most part, I don't mind being busy. In my heart, though, I like to be at home. Today...I was dashing.....and it wasn't in a one-horse open sleigh. (sounds fun, though) This morning, we left the house around 7:45. Dropped kids off at school. Drove to Community Bible Study. Home for a quick bite of lunch. Drop Luke off at sitters. Work at school for 2 hours. Home for a brief break for snack and prep for soccer practice. Dash to soccer practice. (Thankfully it is indoors!!!!)

I don't know how working moms manage to do it all. To work all day and then come home when your tired to do homework, extracurricular activities, cook dinner, laundry, clean house, etc....etc...etc. I'm exhausted just typing that all out!! I am thankful that I am able to be home with my kids. To be able to volunteer in their schools. To keep my house (relatively) clean. I just don't think that I was ever cut out to be a SuperMom.

As I was dashing around trying to locate Daria's soccer gear, I began to think about dinner. I knew I didn't have time to prepare anything before we dashed out the door. We wouldn't have time to eat it even if I could get it prepared. I knew that it would be after 6:00 before we got home....and it would probably be close to 7:00 before we could eat it. Ugh. That just sounded miserable.

I emailed Tim my dilemma....hoping for a rescue. Did my man pull through? You betcha!! On Wednesday nights, the Newberg KFC offers a great deal on their LapTop meals. For under $2, you can get 2 chicken strips, a biscuit, one side, Teddy Grahams, and a drink. Not bad. So, my sweet hubby picked those up for dinner. My kids thought that was pretty stinkin' cool. Me, too.

Tasted so good, too. Love a meal I don't have to cook or clean up after. Guess now with all my "free" time, I better make lunches for tomorrow. Set out clothes for school. Prep for Moms In Touch. Do some PAC work. Probably should help get the kids in bed, too. Then, maybe I can finally relax.

Tim likes to tease that all I do all day is lay around, watching TV, eating bon bons.

Whatever.

Habits

Habits can be a good thing....or a bad thing. I have several that fall in both categories. I am currently in the habit of waking up early every morning, exercising, and then spending some time with my devotions. I then take my shower and get the kids up. I do everything in the same order....and essentially at the same time each day. My mom use to tell me that she could set her clock by what I was doing in the morning. Routines....or habits...can be a very good thing.

I also have the habit of spending time on the computer. I really enjoy being on the computer for the first hour or so after I drop the kids off from school. I also like to peek at the computer at lunch time. It can be so addicting....especially when I am feeling a little lonely.

My kids have habits, too. Daria takes a bath every morning.....while she watches TV before school. The first thing that Caden does when he gets home from school is to jump out of the van and run straight up to my room. He turns on the TV, dives under the covers, and pulls out his leftover snacks from school. If I am not quick enough with their after-school snacks....yikes....it ain't pretty. Luke has the lovely habit of running around the house naked. His dad tries to get him to at least wear underwear. I keep hoping that this habit will fade away as the cold sets in. The last couple of days, his stints of nakedness have been a little shorter lived than previously. He says he likes the cold. Whatever.

Right now, I am struggling with the ugly habits that are mulling around our household. Daria and Caden are developing the lovely habit of picking on each other. It has been pretty ugly in here the last couple of days. When I asked Daria why she just couldn't be nice to her brothers, her response was: "Well...you haven't taught us!" Oh my....I was really seeing red then. It seems like we have been talking non-stop about it. Not sure what else to do. Drives me batty.

Once again, here I have typed for a while, and I really feel like I have no purpose to my writing. I get so frustrated sometimes with the way things are. It is so easy to fall in to the habit of responding a certain way. Even when we are confronted with the not-so-niceness of it, we have a hard time walking away from it. If anyone wants to claim themselves strong, I bet I can find a habit that shows how weak they really are.

As for my house, we need a lot of grace tonight...this week....this month. We just haven't been very pretty to one another. We need that grace to create new habits....new ways of loving each other. Family is those we are most comfortable with....where we receive the most love and acceptance. Family is also the ones that we abuse the most. Why is that?

My final thought right now.....how long until bed time?

Sisters

I'm a day late and a dollar short today. Yesterday, my sister had her birthday. We celebrated it together as a family on Saturday night. I guess I should have done my post then. I didn't get my post written yesterday because we spent a majority of the day on the road coming home. Then my family was in complete melt-down mode after that. I just didn't have the get-up-and-go to get it done. So, even though I am a day late....I can still take a few minutes and honor my sister as she makes another step closer to turning 40.

To start off, Tresa has been my sister all my life. Yep, she's the older one. I would show you a picture of the two of us so that you could compare....but I didn't find one on our computer that was flattering to either one of us. Not sure what that means. I really like the fact that she is the older one. For whatever reason, as she passes those milestones of life, I struggle right along with her. Then, when it is my own turn to pass those milestones....it's not such a big deal. It can be a good thing to be an observer and learn from other's mistakes. Personally, I think that has annoyed her at times.

I didn't always appreciate the fact that I had an older sister. In fact, at times, I found it downright frustrating. She was always such a know-it-all. I always hated being told what to do by her....I even have a scar to prove how much I hated that. (Long story....all my fault!) It seems like her friends never found me very exciting either. We also fought more times than we really needed to. Thankfully that hasn't left a lasting impression upon our relationship. I think that she has forgiven me for the time that I grabbed chunks of meat out of her cheeks. And, I think I have forgiven her for cutting off my pony tail. Eh...what are sisters for, anyway.

I think that I mentioned it on Thanksgiving, but I really am thankful for my sister. She was, and is, my best friend. I know that I didn't always treat her very nicely....and vice versa. But, when push came to shove, we were always there for each other. I remember when she left for college, I was a mess. What do you do when the sister that has always been there suddenly isn't there any more? We had our moments of separation before. I eventually got over the fact that she wanted a room of her own. I also forgave her for hanging out with members of the opposite sex. It took me a while to see what good those guys were anyway. I've come to peace with the fact that she eventually married one of them and moved far away for good.

I'm not sure that I would have said this 30 years ago, (yikes, did I just type that????) but my sister turned out to be one cool lady. She really has a heart of compassion for others. She is married to a preacher boy, and she really is a wonderful help-meet for him. She serves him, her family, and her church very well. I know that I could not make that good of a pastor's wife. I'm sure they would have fired both of us!! I have enjoyed watching how the Lord has molded her into the beautiful woman of God that He designed her to be. He did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. I'm sure that I am not prejudice at all.

Well, I could fill many pages with all kinds of antics and stories about my sister....and me, too. Yet, to protect our dignity I will leave it at that. Just know that we have had a good time together as sisters.

Happy Birthday, Lou. I enjoyed celebrating your birthday with you. You are an awesome daughter, sister, wife and mother. You set an awesome example to me...as well as your children and the people you meet. Thanks for putting up with me and loving me in spite of all my ugliness. You are the greatest.

Love you!!

A Whole New World

Well, my Thanksgiving weekend is quickly coming to an end. The kids are down for bed after a long weekend of playing hard with cousins and staying up way past their bed time. I imagine this will come back to bite me come Monday morning when I wake them up for school.

My mom, sister, and I were doing a puzzle this afternoon. After spending a couple of hours bending over looking at it, my neck and back began to give me a little grief. I needed a change of scenery. So after checking my email and checking on my cybersisters, I sat here eating way too much spinach dip and trying to decide if I should blog tonight. I had half decided that if someone in my family suggested a topic, I would see if I could post about it. So, Dad made a suggestion and I thought I could pull something out of it.

It can be difficult to find a family activity that suits all the necessary requirements. First of all, it needs to be entertaining....to at least a fair majority of the people. Second....it needs to stay within a fairly reasonable budget. That can be so difficult. Anything for 11 people ends up being a little bit costly. We discussed going to the Boise Zoo....in close to freezing temperatures. We discussed bowling....but that can easily add up the dollars. Also time allotments and possible lane availability quickly shot that one down. We also considered going to the Bee Movie....but decided that was kind of an anti-social thing to do. The winning solution....a trip to Cabela's!!

Okay....that was a whole new experience for me. Wow. Let me just say that again....Wow. Every outdoor item, or items even remotely related to the outdoors can be found under the roof of this one store. I have no idea how much square foot that falls under...but wow. If I had thought about it too much, I would have been a little creeped out about all the stuffed animals. I had a laugh over their sign saying something about the display honoring the Nature world...and those who honor it will be less likely to abuse it. Okay.

For me, who at this time of the year, loves any article of clothing related to warmth...I was in heaven. I think I left a trail of drool all around the Women's Clothing section. Too bad my husband isn't made of money....I'd have spent a fortune. Right now, I am a little stuck on fleece items....but I saw a lot of other articles of clothing that I could have easily been persuaded to personally test out their warmth factor.

We also enjoyed a little detour into the "General Store." Here is where they hand out a little taste of fudge to anyone who asks. Yum. That was so hard to decide upon. I was a little disappointed that I didn't make it to the camping area...I love to see all the "new" ideas in the Camping World. I didn't even bother with the Hunting department...I couldn't see it anyways through all the camoflauge.

The highlight of the trip was the aquarium. Wow. They had some huge rainbow trout in their tanks. I can't even begin to describe how mongo the catfish were. Oh my. I did feel a little sorry for these big ol' fish being held captive for the rest of their days in these relatively tiny tanks. I guess tiny, in this case, is all relative. They were fairly large tanks...but not for this big ol' fish.

While, we were there it was feeding time for the trout tank. Talk about a feeding frenzy. We heard the announcement over the intercom that feeding was going to begin. So we slowly meandered over there. We could tell things were getting a little heated as we could see them throwing in some fish pellets. They were just going crazy. The real fun began when they started throwing in the worms. I kind of felt sorry for the littler fish because the big ones were clearly displaying the manner in which they became so big. Those worms would no sooner hit the water than.....POW....the were snarked up by these carnivorous fish. I totally feel like my childhood fear of fish nibbling on my toes was totally justified. I can guarantee that those fish would not last a second in the Wild on Fishing Derby day.

So, as I watched those poor worms hit their demise, I thought that the Feeding Frenzy Fun had tripped the Light Fantastic. Oh no....not even close. To my surprise, they began tossing Nemo to the ravenous seagulls. No...it wasn't actually Nemo....but they were these poor helpless goldfish. I don't think that I have ever seen goldfish swim as fast as those babies did. To no avail......just as soon as they hit the water. SNARK!! They were goners. Every once in a while, we would watch as a few of the goldfish managed to survive for a short amount of time. They were amazingly smart, at times, in finding hiding places where they could survive for a while longer. How they did that, I will never know. It wasn't like they had spent their lifetime preparing themselves for the ultimate game of Survivor. Did their handlers give them a "dry run" in their Tank o' Doom? I'll never forget this one fish who was a mite smaller than the giants of the tank. Right there in front of us we watched as he tried to swallow this poor goldfish that was just about as round as his poor mouth. He just about lost his lunch to the Big Daddy Pirate trout of the tank.

So...we had an adventure today at the whole new world of Cabela's. Quite a bit of fun for all us...from the kids all the way up to the grandparents. Much to my husbands delight, it was a cheap adventure. I didn't buy a thing.

Can you hear is sigh of relief from there???

Pleasant Surprise

Today I did something that 5 years ago, I would never, in a million years have done. There is stories all over about wackos who prey and prowl the internet for naive people. Today, I met a friend that I met over the internet. Hmmmm....my mom was a little leary, but I was confident of the friend she had become.

A couple of years ago, when I was drowning in the world of Motherhood, I signed up to participate in a website dedicated to Christian stay at home moms. I was a little nervous about it. It is hard enough for me to put myself out there in the real world....much less in the unknown world of the internet. But, I was lonely.....I needed some connection to the outside world. I love my children desperately....but I needed to relate to other ladies who were in my similar situation.

What a blessing these sisters have been in my life. Until today, I have never met any of them face to face. We are spread out over the entire United States. I have met people that never, in any other way, would I have met them. How precious they have become to me. There have been times that they have walked beside me in difficult times with friends and family. They have rejoiced with me in little victories such as potty training. If there is something I am struggling with, there is likely that at least one of them has felt that same way. How refreshing it is to find that in such an unconventional way.

Today, as I visited with Kim, it was refreshing to find that not having to see someone face to face does not keep you from being friends. We talked and visited as if we had known each other for years....which in essence we have. In a way, I find that it is a miracle that through the "magic" of the internet, we have become sisters in heart. I found myself at times, because I hadn't met her face to face, surprised that I knew things about her. Then, I would laugh at myself and realize that we had "met" before, we just hadn't been in the same room before.

Just now, as I typed that sentence above, I had a thought about heaven. Won't heaven be like that for us? We have all "met" Jesus face to face in our hearts. We know Him because we have talked with Him and met with Him. We know Him intimately and He knows us better than we know ourselves. I find it utterly amazing that when we cross over the gates of Heaven....we will know Him. It will be just as if we had seen Him all our life. When I walked into the coffee shop this morning, I knew it was Kim as soon as I saw her. Granted, I had seen pictures of her before....but it is so different when you see them face to face. I just knew it was her...just as she knew it was me. What fun!!

So, here is the lesson for me today. Me...the timid and scared one. Be bold, friend, and put yourself out there. You may never know where you will find friends....blessings, really. You may just find a pleasant surprise waiting......just for you.

The Ultimate Thankful Thursday

It won't be me that makes this the Ultimate Thankful Thursday. Or the things that I say. It is purely the fact that today is Thanksgiving Day. Several hundred years ago, the Pilgrims sat down to a feast that was provided with the help of the Indians. The Pilgrims had a tough row to hoe in those early days. If we were to compare our abundance today with the abundance that they gave thanks for....I'm not sure I would have been so thankful. It takes me to task, that's for sure. I have been blessed with so much. What a wonderful exercise it has been for me to take time each week to express my thanks to my God for his wonderful blessings in my life. It has done my heart good to keep that thankful spirit at the forefront of my mind. '

With those thoughts here are some things that I am thankful for this Thanksgiving Day:

• I am thankful for dry roads as we traveled to South Idaho for Thanksgiving. It had snowed a day or so before we left and I was worried about ice in the pass. I was just praising Jesus as we drove over the roads and things didn't look slippery at all. I guess I've gotten a little worrisome as I've gotten older and taken on the role of Mother. It is peaceful to lay those concerns at the feet of Jesus and see his provision.
• I am thankful for my parents....for the sacrifices that they made along the way for me and my sister. I wouldn't be who I am today without their love, prayers, and guidance.
• I am thankful for my sister. Though we fought more times that I could probably count, she was also my best friend. No other non-parental person in my life loved me more through my faults than she did. She was my faithful encourager then...and now.
• I am thankful for my sweet husband. He has put up with more garbage from me than any man really should. I am amazed at his patience with his wacked out wife. He is my friend, my love, my support. I love him very much.
• I am thankful for my children. I am thankful for their health. I am thankful for their smiles. I am thankful that they are doing so well in school. I am truly a blessed mom. At times, I feel overwhelmed as a mom....but when I compare my situation to others....I have no complaints. I have been truly blessed.
• I am thankful for my church family. I can't even begin to name the ways that they have blessed me. They have walked beside me in so many areas. They have encouraged me to be more than I am right now. What a joy it is to worship with them from week to week.
• I am thankful for my friends. I know that I am not the best of people. Yet, my friends still hang around. Isn't that gracious? Each one of them encourages me and supports me in different ways and that is such a blessing.
• I am so thankful for my Moms In Touch ladies. That hour of prayer with them each week has become such a highlight in my week. The riches of that time is so amazing.
• I am thankful for Tim's job that provides us with enough money for our beautiful home. For food to eat. For money to buy extras.
• And for all these things, I am thankful for my Jesus....who the ultimate gift to me...and to you. He gave his life for our salvation. That is the most ultimate thing to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends. You are a blessing to me.

Packed and Ready

The biggest travel weekend of the year. And guess what? We are traveling. Doesn't that sound exciting? Not. I am hoping that we are leaving early enough that the Portland Gridlock won't slow us down too much. It can be a real nightmare. It is like the whole city and surrounding area has taken to the streets.

Even though I have procrastinated, I think that we are basically ready to go. Luke and I need to leave here in a couple of minutes to pick up Daria and Caden from school. Then to the library for DVDs to make the trip go faster....home for lunch and then pack the van and head out. The kids can hardly wait. Me.....I am wishing that my name was Samantha and I could just twinkle my nose and...POOF....be there. Eh....oh well....guess we'll just pass the time as best we can.

I mentioned that my kids are excited to be going to Auntie Tresa's house. I pulled out their bags last night and the fever pitch rose. I started to pack Luke's first....and he quickly drug it out to the living room because he was ready to go....right then. I had to drag it back to finish up. He then found Caden's empty bag and he decided he needed to get packed. So here you go:




Can't you tell that he's packed? Take a closer look.






Still can't see it? Come on....it isn't that hard. Look just a bit closer......




Can you see him now? He was packed and ready to go. I was so surprised that he could fit in the bag. Daria and Caden thought that was pretty cool....and they decided to get into their bags, too. I didn't get pictures of that....but you can only imagine what it was like.

The good thing about this....I now know that I can pack them up and send them to Grammy's house....any time!

Air mail!!

Procrastination

I feel like I have been airing a lot of dirty laundry lately. I might as well continue the trend. It's not like I am getting any better! I will never claim to be something I am not....it isn't worth it. The truth comes out eventually. Might as well own up to it.

I am a Procrastinator.

Always have been and always will be.

Today is no different. We are headed out of town tomorrow for the big Thanksgiving weekend. There is usually a lot that needs to be done in order to get ready to go. One would think that I have a personal maid or something for the way that I have been ignoring that To-Do List. No....I do not have the luxury of having a personal maid, laundress, housekeeper, or cook. Just me. No one else. If it wasn't for the fact that I am Me....I'd fire me. On the spot.

Slowly, today, I have done a couple of loads of laundry. Slowly I have managed to clean up the kitchen. Slowly, I have managed to clean one bathroom. One left to go. I haven't even touched the packing. Well.....that isn't completely true. I've pulled one suitcase and the overnight bag out of the closet. That is as far as I have gotten. Period.

So, if I don't get my tail a movin', who in the world is going to finish cleaning that one bathroom? Who is going to vacuum the living room? Who is going to scrub the kitchen sink and sweep the floor? Who is going to pack for 4 1/2 people? (Tim is the 1/2 person....I pack the basics....he adds the extras. He is capable enough to handle at least that much!) Who is going to cook us some dinner?

Sad. This is just plain sad, folks. When this mama goes on strike, nothing gets done. And I do mean nothing. Oh wait....I spoke too soon. When this mama goes on strike....disaster happens. One disaster right after another. My family is content with that. Don't ask me why....they are just too stinkin' content with that. Tim calls that my job security. Yep. Ain't he sympathetic? He just pats me on the shoulder...smirks that ornery little smirk...and informs me that it is job security. I know that I will never be without a job here in my household. I don't think I could get myself fired if I tried! And trust me, I've tried!

Rats.

I think that I have now ran out of excuses for procrastinating. That is the one bad thing about procrastinating. It eventually comes to bite you in the rear. Every time.

You'd think I'd learn.

What Will People Say?

Growing up in a Quaker household, where we have bled gray and white for generations, I've not attended many non-Quaker funerals. I say this because I don't know if "other" funerals are like this. At the funeral for my friend's grandfather, the minister made a comment that the thing he loves about Quaker funerals is the sharing time they have to share memories of the deceased. So...if "Other" people do this at their funerals, then cool. I really do love to hear the memories, hear the stories, and feel the love during the times of sharing. I know that during my own grandparents' funerals, I cherished those times and I didn't want them to end.

I've always been sensitive to what other people say about me....or what I perceive others to think about me. It is a failing that I wish that I could beat out of me. I feel that I allow myself and my moods to be dictated way too much by my perceptions of other people's perceptions. I really put my self to task about that when it comes to mind. I really try to give myself....and others...the benefit of a doubt....especially when I feel negative...or not so great things. It is so hard, though. Yet, I also find that I cherish the positive things that people do say. In fact, lately, I have been saving cards and notes that people give me so that I can read them again when I am feeling discouraged. Not that I have a lot....but they help because I really am my own worst critic.

During the funeral, I had a laughable moment with myself. As I was listening to all the glowing stories of this wonderful man, I thought...."Won't it be cool to hear what people say about me?" Ok....at that point...I will be dead and I won't hear a word that is spoken. So, if you attend my funeral, go ahead and just lay out all the ugly things that I have ever said and done to you. I won't hear! Ignorance is bliss, I tell you. But, honestly, isn't that a gracious thing? At the end of our lives, where we have failed ourselves and others more times than we care to count, all that is spoken about is the good things....the funny times...the tender moments. Somehow, most of the time, grace finds its ultimate showdown in human hearts at one's passing.

Now, if I am honest, I am sure that there are times...probably a lot of times....that when one dies...not all grievances have been covered in grace. Yet, at least there is the decency to keep that under wraps as those who mourn take time to honor the one who is gone. My kids are pretty honest with me right now about the times that I mess up, forget, or just plain missed the ball. I wish that I could hear their words at the time of my funeral. Will I have been the Mom to them that I really wish that I could be? Will God's grace have covered in the holes and gashes that I left behind? I sure hope so, because I know that I make mistakes...daily.

These thoughts also spur me on to be a better person. Maybe it is a selfish reason...that I would like there to be glowing comments made at the memorialization of my life. Yet, would I really like to be remembered as some crabby ol' bitty who has a gigantic chip on her shoulder? Or do I want to be remembered as a daughter of the King...who, though failing at times, still did her best to honor the King? Have I done what I could to further the kingdom of God? Have I loved to the best of my abilities? Have I given until there is nothing left to give? Have I done all those things with the attitude that I should? Definitely gives me food for thought.

It is hard right now not to start getting critical about myself. Those questions really sting right now. I know that I could do better.....I should be better. This was just something I mulled about this weekend as I laughed at myself.....as I was tired and a little grumpier than I wished that I was. I think I will now just sign off and go love on my little Luke.

Life beckons.

Skills of Life

Admittedly....I am not the most patient person in the world. Especially when it comes to teaching. The Lord must have known because he never placed a burning desire in my heart to be a teacher. As a mother, there are times that I must take on the roll of teacher....as in teaching them the skills of life. I am bound and determined that someday, my boys will know how to clean a bathroom as well as any girl. The only thing is....I have to teach them that. Oh mercy....I am so not patient in their sloppy and slow ways of learning.

Right now, I am making scones for our Thanksgiving brunch tomorrow at church. How is it that I can be writing on my blog while making scones???? Well, Caden loves to help me in the kitchen. When he asks me if he can help, I really have to grit my teeth. Teaching in the kitchen is so hard for me. The sloppy piles of flour and sugar.....on the counter....on the clothes...and on the floor. So much more clean up. I also fight the urge for speed. Six year olds really have no concept of hurry...nor are they coordinated enough to be fast at cooking.

I could probably be done by now with the scones. But...my son is having a grand time. I should probably get off the computer and lend a hand. His cookie sheet is "full" and things need adjusted so that they will all fit.

Teach me, Lord, how to slow down and teach my kids the skills of life. Then can you loosen the grip on my jaw????

Limits

LIMIT: the point, edge, or line beyond which something cannot or may not proceed

Everything in life has a limit. Okay.....except for numbers, God's grace and Buzz Lightyear. I imagine that even the great expanse of the universe has a limit. Not that man will be able to find it....but I imagine that there is a limit....somewhere.

I have plenty of limits. I limit myself to how many Halloween Kit Kats I will eat each day. My body has set a limit on sleep to roughly 8 hours....not that I can get that often....but it seems to be the limit before I wake up. I know I have reached the limit on how much liver I will eat in my lifetime. I limit myself to how many trip to Starbucks I can have....or trips to Burgerville for dinner....or chocolate-covered, cream-filled donuts I can eat. I will really need to stick to my limits this coming week during Thanksgiving. Mmmmmmmm..........

For me, each day has its limits. I can eat one Kit Kat today. Tomorrow, I'll allow myself another one. As much as I would like to eat more, I will limit myself to that. I've heard that in eating and dieting, moderation is the way to go. You can eat all those rich, decadent things in life....in moderation. I am glad that each day has its own limits....and that you can start fresh with each new day. I love that about God's grace....his mercies are new every morning. We get a fresh start every morning.

My kids get a fresh start every morning too. I am typically not a morning person. I'm usually not very civil until I have been up out of bed for at least an hour. The one thing that I do love about the mornings is that my limits have been reset for the day. I can anticipate the pleasure of enjoying my Kit Kat for the day. (bummer when they run out!) My energy limit has been refreshed and I'm ready to go for another day. I also love that my grace with my kids is new and fresh. A peaceful night's rest does wonders in restoring a spirit of love and unity in our household. The closer it gets to bed time, bedlam begins to take over....and my limits are being met all over the place.

Today has been a dashing kind of day. Lots to do and running around here and there. Daria had a field trip today....then straight to piano....to Target for gifts for friends' birthdays....to soccer practice....to a slumber party. So...really...my kids haven't seen each other all that much. But...they have apparently reached their limits with each other. My limit with them got met as well. Bicker, bicker, bicker. I was going to let them figure it out for themselves....but alas....my limit got met and I sent them to their rooms. It must have recharged their batteries a little....because things are more peaceful now.

As I have been contemplating limits, particularly my limits, I am thankful that God's grace has no limit...no point at which it cannot proceed. Kind of recharges my batteries....

...to infinity...and beyond!

Thankful Thursday!

The simple meaning of 'Thanksgiving' is the expression of gratitude and the giving of thanks. The Thanks Giving Day is simply directed towards the Almighty. God has created all of us and He has provided all the necessary things for our survival in this world. No matter how tough our life could be but He is always there to take care of us and to give us all the good things. So we express our gratitude towards Him and thank him for the kindness and blessings that the Lord has bestowed upon us. To praise Him we verbally express admiration towards Him to honor and glorify His greatness with prayers and songs. At the heart of the celebration of Thanks Giving is the idea of giving thanks for the goodness of the season past.

I found the above quote on a website dedicated to Thanksgiving. I put the emphasis on the one sentence. November is the month that we normally turn our thoughts towards being thankful. All of our blessings in life come from God alone. Life can get touch sometimes....but God is faithful. Let us give thanks!

• Today I am thankful for precious memories. It was fun yesterday to take myself back in my memories and be reminded of the blessings of my family. The rich heritage that is involved there is overwhelming at times. I am thankful for where I have come from.
  

• I am thankful for my Network of Moms at our school. Because of them, I am able to help out today at the 1st grade Harvest Party. We are doing a childswap today. One will watch while two work...and then rotate. Yeah!!

• I am thankful that the portable classrooms were put into place this week. The end is in sight and my daughter will have a permanent classroom...and the school can have their lunchroom back! I am thankful also to all the donors of money, time, materials, and skills that is allowing this to happen. It is so exciting!!

Thanksgiving is officially a week from today. Yet, we don't need to wait a week in order to be thankful. Let's get a head start on everyone else...and start today!

Blessings!

Dancing With Jesus

God was merciful and released Elvett Brown from his broken and hurting body today. He passed from this world into his Heavenly one around 4:20 this afternoon. As, I'm sure, his family is weeping, he is dancing on the streets of gold with Jesus.

Blessing of Grandparents

Today, as I prayed for Elvett Brown and his family, my heart cried for them. What a heart breaking time it is...to lose someone so precious in your family. They are bittersweet moments as we kiss them goodbye from this world....and send them off with a grand Hurrah to the next. I remember standing around my Grandpa's bed and singing him into heaven, in essence. I remember praying that God would have mercy on him and take him home quickly so that he wouldn't suffer any longer. And at the same time, I wanted to cling to him and beg him to stay with me longer.

I remember feeling that way when my Grandma was dieing. I remember telling God that I wasn't finished with her yet. I still had so much I wanted to share with my Grandma. My sister has this wonderful picture of my Grams and Gramps holding newborn Kyle. Those looks of love on their faces are something that I am envious of. I wanted so much to be able to lay my own newborn children in their arms and have their blessing over them. Gramps was there to see my babies, but not Grams. Sometimes, in my mind, I imagine that picture is Grams with my babies. (dagnabit...I'm making myself cry!) Yet, even as I long for them to be here, I imagine they are having a glorious time in heaven with Jesus.

Grandparents are a blessing. At least mine were. I have a lot of wonderful memories. My Grams was a lot of fun. I don't remember her playing around with me like my Mom does with my kids. I just remember loving being with her. Maybe it was that Love thing. I have a couple of pictures of my Grams that, to me, epitomize the way I felt when I was with my Grams. One of the pictures is just a little tiny thing...something like 2 inches by 2 inches. I think my Mom told me it was taken on my first birthday. I'm not sure...my hair is awfully long! Anyway....Grams is holding me and the way she is looking at me just tells me that I was loved. I love this picture. I keep meaning to have this picture framed somehow so that it doesn't get ruined. The other picture really isn't a very good picture at all. Grams is kind of sitting in the background. It was taken on my graduation. I am examining my gift...and Grams has this look of glee on her face. She is so excited. I really wish it was a better picture because the look on her face captures the feeling I would get when I would see her. She was excited to see me....she was excited with my accomplishments.

I remember Grams taking my sister and I for milkshakes on the days that she would take us to piano lessons. I don't know if Mom ever knew....but we thought it was fun. Grams always ordered butterscotch. She loved her dogs, too. I remember when we would get ice cream cones....the dog would get a lick....Grams a lick...the dog a lick...Grams a lick. Ugh. I think that sticks in my memory because I thought it was gross. I remember playing "doctor" with Grams. My sister and I would have a big bottle of Vaseline lotion and washcloths. I am positive we used at least half a bottle "doctoring" Grams legs. (We really just gave her these grand leg massages!! We had fun, though!!) I remember spending a week with Grams and Gramps in Kamiah, Idaho. I can't say it was the most rip-roaring good time I ever had, but it ranks high in my memory bank. Grams and I did jigsaw puzzles together.

I have a lot of good memories of Gramps, too. He really was quite the character. I can't begin to tell you how many years it took me to quit answering the question: "How old are you anyway?" Fell for it every time. I remember the summer that Gramps made a swing set in the trees in their front yard. If I remember right, my sister and I were staying with them for some reason. It was so exciting to watch that come together. One thing that stands out about that was the trial run on the rope swing. My aunt Jan landed on her bum when the rope broke! Yikes! We spent lots of hours out there. (Push me higher, Daddy, I want to touch the tree branches!) I also remember Thanksgivings being torturous as we all had to go around the table to say why we were thankful. It wouldn't have been so bad if there weren't a gazillion of us....and we had to sit there in front of all that yummy food. Then, Gramps would give his annual lengthy Thanksgiving prayer. Torture, I tell you, torture!

I know that I was lucky to have my grandparents with me for as long as I did. Even though I am blessed with happy memories, I still wish that I could have had them with me longer. I miss them so much sometimes.....like today. They were most definitely a blessing in my life. I love watching my parents with my kids.....that too is a blessing. I cherish all of that in my heart.

Thank you for your prayers for my friend and her family. This time will someday become precious in her memories, too.....even though now it is very difficult.

Prayers Needed

For those of you praying for Elvett Brown, my friend's grandfather, please step it up. He has taken a turn for the worse. Due to his advance directive wishes, they have removed his feeding tube. They had a precious time with him yesterday, singing hymns with him. He had some lucid moments with the family. It just breaks my heart as it brings back memories of my own Grandpa's last days.

Please be praying that God would be so near to Elvett and his family.

Thank you.

Stuff, Stuff, and More Stuff

My kids are spoiled. Plain and simple. They have so much stuff they don't know what to do with it. I often go through their rooms and dump bags of stuff into the garbage and they have no clue that anything is missing. I've even hauled bags of stuff to Goodwill unnoticed! A lot of times when I am cleaning, I uncover these long lost treasures and it is new and fresh all over again. With that thought, I am tempted to wrap up some of their hidden Stuff and regift them for Christmas. They won't notice....maybe.

I am a little frustrated with the Stuff right now. My kids seem to see a clean, picked-up room like a freshly cleaned chalkboard....you just gotta write on it. It never takes very long for my kids to go into the freshly cleaned room and dump their stuff all over the floor. Drives me nuts. I was on a cleaning strike there for a while. I just let their rooms go. If they want the mess...then they can live in it. You know.....they don't mind. I guess it is only me who cringes every time that I walk by. It became nearly impossible to cross the floor in the boys' room. How can they live in the chaos???

I finally got a little tough yesterday. I made the kids take about 30 minutes and clean up their rooms. They did a fairly decent job....even though with all the drama one would have thought that I was torturing them. Their rooms were definitely cleaner...but not quite up to Mommy standards...at least we could see the floor. I finished the job today....and currently their rooms look pretty nice.

With all that, I couldn't help but contemplate the Stuff. I've come to hate the toys that come with all these little pieces. I tend to be a little anal about the pieces....and my kids are most definitely not! When we play with them together, I try really hard to keep track of them all so we can play another day. Inevitably, the kids will play with these toys when I am not around to herd all the little pieces back to their respective homes. You would be amazed at the places that I find the marbles from our Trouble Jr. game.... color cards from Candy Land....cherries from Hi Ho Cherry-O. I won't even begin to discuss Legos.

It seems like, when I talk with my friends, they all have at least one child who is anal about their possessions. They become almost obsessed about the care and usage of their toys. They may line them up just so. Or cry when some unauthorized person lays a finger on them. They may even have a melt down if a piece is missing. Heaven forbid. Well, darn it, somehow my house got skipped over by the Neatness Angel. My kids couldn't care less. They still manage to throw a fit here and there if they can't find something....but it never affects them deep enough to change their behavior in order to prevent the loss or damage of said item.

I guess that I need to find the magic Lesson to teach them responsibility about their stuff. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have talked with them about respecting their possessions. It seems like that discussion is mostly in regards to mine. (My possessions tend to be a little more costly....like a house...van...etc.) Maybe I should start praying that my kids would some how develop a Neatness habit. I would definitely consider that an Act of God if that should ever happen. I may just fall over in a dead faint!

At this point, there is nothing more I can do about it. I will just hope and pray that somewhere along the line my kids will become doers of Mom's word...and not just mere hearers. That is a pretty lofty goal. I guess in the meantime, I will just go lock myself in their rooms, take a moment and soak up the sight of their nice, clean rooms.

A short lived moment, for sure.

Storms a-raging!

We had some pretty beautiful weather this weekend. It was pretty warm outside. We got some yard work done. Daria had some soccer practice outside. She was running around all weekend in shorts and a t-shirt. Granted, it wasn't that warm out...she just felt like wearing them. Considering that it is almost the middle of November, I was a little amazed at the warmth. I wasn't too amazed with the warmth as I shivered through an hour of soccer practice! Brrrrr!!

I haven't liked the forecast the last couple of days. All I would see on those 7-Day Forecast was rain...rain..and more rain. I enjoy Oregon quite a bit....most of the time....except these cold, rainy, dark days. Some people were complaining about all the sunshine we have had lately. Not me. I am just hoping that those aren't the last sunny days we see this winter. I miss the sun when it is gone. I think I need to purchase one of those Happy Lites that mimic the sun so I don't get seasonal affective disorder. Whatever.

This morning I woke to the sound of the wind whipping through the trees that surround our house. I could tell that it was one doozy of a storm brewing outside. My room still seemed to have that dark, gloomy feel about it. It was nice that the kids didn't have school today...no plans...so I just buried my head under the covers some more and pretended that I was still sleeping.

Then Luke woke up. Bummer. Amazingly, his first response wasn't to come in and yell at me to go out into the living room. I did hear this little click, click, click, click. Uh-oh. No lights. Yep.....the wind was blowing so hard that the kids and I woke up this morning to no electricity. You would have thought that the circus had come to town with all the yahoos and shouts of glee that came from my boys.

My first response was to go around and open all the blinds so that we could see better. Oh no....that was the wrong thing to do. Luke quickly informed me to close them right back up. Caden was dashing around the house looking for all the candles and begging for glow sticks. That is our survival plans during a power outage....at night. So why not now?

So that is what we did. We lit all the candles and huddled under blankets. Our fun lasted for only about an hour....so we did pretty good. The kids couldn't remember why we couldn't watch TV. How come we can't play on the computer? Mom....the fridge light is out! Mom...can I have a piece of toast? What are we going to eat then, Mom??? (He settled for bread with butter and cinnamon sugar!) It reminds me how dependent we are on electricity. It was good for a laugh or two anyway!

The winds have settled down now. The yard is now a mess! So much for all the work we did this weekend. We have a few branches down in the yard. One hit the roof and then crashed down outside the front window. The kids thought that was pretty exciting! I'm just thankful it was a small branch instead of a huge tree crashing through my living room!

Stay warm and dry this week. I have a feeling the "fun" has just begun.

Yippee....ugh.

My Sweet Hubby

A few weeks ago, I confessed my obsession with Fleece clothing. If you have forgotten, you can go here. Fleecewear is the only redeeming thing about the cold of Fall and Winter. There is nothing better than snuggling up in a warm, fleecy shirt. It is just like wearing a warm, fluffy blanket. At the time of that post, I had just purchased a new fleece shirt from ll Bean. I hadn't worn it yet, but I was drooling over it. Since then, I have had several opportunities to wear it...and I love it.

On the internet shopping excursion I had that found the shirt from ll Bean, I had checked the site for Old Navy. Apparently they hadn't posted any of their fleecewear yet. Well, the other day, in a moment of bored inspiration, I looked on Old Navy's website. They had some fleece shirts that were similar to the one I found at ll Bean. The great thing was that they were $10 cheaper! Hmmm.....

I have been waiting for the longest time to hear the announcement of the grand opening of the new Old Navy that was due to arrive in our neighboring town of Tualatin. I have been frustrated that I hadn't heard anything. When I found those shirts, I decided to see if they were open. Their website listed them as a location...but didn't say if they were open. I went there yesterday....and they were OPEN!! Yippee.

I went in, found my shirts and picked out a couple. They aren't as thick as the one from ll Bean....but they still felt delicious. I really didn't pay much attention to the total cost when they rung me up, because I was paying with a gift card....and the kids were distracting me. I only had to pay $5 over the gift card amount. As I was driving home, I did a mental calculation. I didn't think my card was that much money....so I looked at the receipt. Those shirts were only TEN DOLLARS A PIECE!!! I just about drove off the road! I'd have bought more if I'd realized.

Last evening, I shared my bargain hunting with my keep-my-hand-on-my-money-at-all-cost hubby. (He particularly hates spending money on food and clothes!) I was bemoaning that I'd have purchased more colors if I had known. On our way to our bi-weekly Family Date to Costco, Tim asked me how late Old Navy was open. I didn't know. Well...blow me down....he offered to swing by on our way home and I could buy some more.

And he did!! He didn't even hardly blink an eye as I picked out four more shirts. Isn't he just a sweetie? He won't be surprised to find me snuggled up in one of them this morning. As I feel the warmth of my new fleece shirt wrapped around me, I think I will just imagine it as a hug from my man. I think every once in a while he likes to surprise me with things like this just so that he can keep me off balance and stay "unpredictable." Whatever. I still think he is pretty awesome.

Thanks, Babe!

Friday Aaarrrggghhh!

I have been wanting to post a blog all day. But I told myself that I wouldn't sit down to write one until I had something positive and uplifting to write about. So far that hasn't happened. I can only think of my Hormonal Trainwreck I'm riding on right now....the crabby, out-of-control kids ravaging my house.....the dark dreary day. What fun are those topics when they aren't amusing thoughts...they are dark, angry thoughts. Hmmmm....what should we do?

This week, my friend's 89 year old grandfather was struck by a car as he crossed the street. He was in the crosswalk...I think it was dark....and he was wearing dark clothing. I don't know the full scoop on the story...but needless to say....he is in bad shape. I can't even begin to name the many bones that are broken. I am amazed that he has lived through this ordeal. It will take months for him to recover....if he ever fully does.

This afternoon, as I was driving to the school to pick up Caden after his fieldtrip, I watched a couple of teenagers cross the street. I was struck....as I am every time that I see this...that these kids NEVER pause, check traffic, and then proceed. More times than I care to count, I watch these kids step out without a glance at traffic. There is this one intersection in town that is particularly scary for me as a driver. It is an intersection that I do not have to stop....there is a crosswalk with flashing lights that could be activated. Usually there are cars parked close to the intersection on both sides that block my view, as the driver, of pedestrians on the side. How many times have kids just stepped out without looking. It has freaked me out so many times. I am on constant alert as I pass that intersection.

I guess what strikes me about this, is that I was raised to always be on the defense....whether you are the pedestrian or you are the driver. Never expect the other person to see that you are there....always assume that they do not see you. Is these kids' failure to take that defensive stance a part of this self-centered stage of life they are in....or did their parents fail them somehow? Maybe they think they are invincible...and that the won't-happen-to-me things of life won't happen to them? I don't know.

I am not sure where I am going with this. I surely don't expect my little blog to change the world on this. I guess I just wanted to voice this frustrating observation. I don't know who was at fault in my friend's grandfather's accident. Was it his fault for not checking before he walked? Was he walking too slowly? Was the driver not paying attention or going too fast? I don't know. It just saddens me to hear of his pain. I can't even imagine how the driver feels. What an ugly, ugly thing.

So, in closing, if you think of it, please pray for Elvett Brown.....and please look both ways before crossing the street.

Count Your Blessings

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Will you be surprised at what the Lord hath done? My thought is that if we are consistently taking time to be thankful...to name our blessings one by one....we shouldn't be surprised. God is faithful. He delights in showing mercy.

This week, as I take the time to be thankful in this month of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for:

• Super Student of the Month Awards! Daria received a SSMA this month. Caden received one last month, but I didn't take note of it too much because it just came home as something in his D.O.G. (Daily Organizational Guide). This month, the school must have gotten smart and they invited parents to come to an assembly. I am very proud of Daria....and Caden, too. I love to see that my kids are doing well.
  

• Failed piano lessons! (oops...did I really say that???) Daria didn't have a very good lesson last Friday. So, it has encouraged her to be a better practicer this week. Her teacher gave her a Christmas song last week and she almost has the right hand part memorized already. I felt bad that she had a bad lesson....but I think that it needed to happen. She should have a very good lesson this week.
  

• Caden getting a 100% on one of his spelling tests this week. What an answer to prayer!! He has been doing so much better lately on his spelling. I really think that he is starting to grasp it a lot better now. He rarely misses more than one or two. Caden is also doing a lot better with his reading. I checked out some early readers from our church library for him to read. He can read through one in a couple of minutes. The pride and confidence he feels when he reads through one is so fun to see. He seems to really be developing a love for reading. Another answer to prayer!!

• A warm house. As the weather is starting to go back to dreary and cold....I am thankful for my house...and for money to keep it warm. It just reminded me of the blessing that my house is to me. Thank you, Jesus.
  

As you noticed, I have chosen not to participate in the "Big Thankful Thursday" group. As much as I enjoyed having comments left that day, it felt weird to have comments from strangers. I am going to continue to be thankful on Thursdays, I am just not going to post my blog on the Big Thankful Thursday website.

Take a moment and be surprised. Be thankful!

Out of Whack

Today has been weird. Do you ever have those kind of days where you just feel like everything is out of whack? I have had a day like that. Nothing real extraordinary has happened. Everything just feels like we are one brick short of a full load, if you know what I mean.

The last two mornings, my kids have had this mean streak in them. They'll get this nasty little glint in their eyes as they bug the bejeebers out of each other. This morning, I just about drop kicked the older two out of the van when we got to school. I felt like growling at them to not come home until their attitudes were adjusted.

I was driving to Community Bible Studies in Tigard this morning and traffic was unlike anything I usually experience on Wednesday mornings. I was a little later than normal due to the fact that I had to do some PAC business in the school office. I stopped to get gas this morning, too. Yet, those extra 5-10 minutes must have thrown everything out of whack. Traffic just felt ridiculous. I think I hit every red light there was; as well, as it feeling like there were twice the normal amount of cars. I felt like double checking I was on the right road in the right town. It just felt weird....out of whack.

Once I arrived at CBS, later than normal by about 5 minutes, the doors to the Nursery where I work were locked. Whoever was responsible for unlocking them, forgot. Okay....She's out of whack a little too. Surely it can't just be me. I know that I am a little bit like a loose cannon sometimes....but come on.

The kids this morning at CBS were a little off, too. Everyone just seemed a little bit cranky....a little bit out of step of their normal selves. One little girl just cried and cried and cried. She had never done that before. We finally had to go get her mother. I guess we all have days like that.

Luke and I went to Joann Fabrics today. Wow. Talk about the Christmas rush...or something. We stood in line for the longest time at both the cutting counter and the check out stand. There was one little tiny girl just screaming her fool head off. You can definitely tell that we were a store full of mothers. You should have seen all the sympathy flowing for that poor mama. Out of whack, I tell you. Luke, on the other hand, was quite the little champ while he shopped with me today. I was so proud of him. I guess he'd gotten his orneriness out at CBS....he had himself a nice little tizzy while we were there. But....when push came to shove...he was a prince.

So...after a long, crazy, out-of-whack kind of day, I feel whooped. I think that I might be coming down with something. My head and nose feel like they are on the verge of becoming something I'm sure they weren't created to be. Out of whack....just like the rest of my day.

Forgiveness

I'm not sure that I will ever fully understand or grasp the concept of forgiveness. I've been waging an old battle today. Though the original wounds are "old," I've been feeling the pains afresh all day. Forgiveness, for me, is a constant battle. Every time the offense comes to mind, I have to take up my shield of faith and extinguish its flaming arrows. Again. And again. I have to consciously tell myself to stop the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) from invading every aspect of my heart. If I don't ask my Jesus to wage that battle right then....the wound becomes larger than it was before.

God doesn't seem to have those kind of issues with forgiveness. I decided to do a little study this afternoon on forgiveness...because, sometimes, I just can't wrap my mind around it. I am constantly reminded of the times that I fail God and sin once again. It is a daily thing. I resonate so much with that Casting Crowns song, East to West:

I know you’ve cast my sin as far as the East is from the West
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away
From You leaving me this way

I often feel like I am one mistake away from God leaving me the way I am today. How can God have the patience and the love to forgive me....for the same sin...again? And again. And again. Forgive is defined as: to pardon or acquit of sin. Acquit is defined as: to free or clear from accusation. God pardons me. He wipes my slate clean every day. He does not stand accusing me of my sin. Grasp it, Chris, grasp it.


"You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love." Nehemiah 9:17 Am I slow to anger? Today I wasn't. As I hashed through that old wound, I was angry. Did I feel love? Not really. Just hurt...and disgust. Certainly not very gracious and compassionate. I long to be slow to become angry.

"When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions." Psalm 65:3 Overwhelmed is to be engulfed, submerged, to overcome completely, to overpower. How often do I feel that way about my sins? Daily. Daily.

"Yet he was merciful. He forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time he restrained his anger and did not stir up his full wrath." Psalm 78:38 Doesn't that verse just amaze you? We deserve to be destroyed; and, yet he restrains himself. I had to ask God to help me with that today. I wanted to lash out...to rip apart...to be justified. I am glad that God's mercy can overwhelm my sins and save me from them.

"If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you, there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sins and forgives the transgressions of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea." Micah 7:18-19 Is this where we get the concept of God casting our sins into the sea of forgetfulness? Oh how I wish that I could do that! I wish that I could truly let go of offenses and remember them no more. I wish that the memory of them would not cause a new battle to rise up in me again. This is the one concept that I have the most difficult time grasping. How can God truly forget my sins? How can he forgive them once....for all? I understand that we learn from our mistakes. I suppose that if we can't remember the offense...we will never learn. I still wish that I could truly forget.

"Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses." Acts 13:38-39 Justify is to declare free of blame. Blame is to think of as responsible or guilty. In Jesus, we aren't even guilty. We can stand faultless before the throne.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding." Ephesians 1:7-8 Do you know what I am struck with here? Two things. 1. The Riches of God's Grace. God is not stingy with his grace. He lavishes it. Riches also speak to me that there is an abundance....there is no worry that the Bank of Grace will foreclose on me. 2. With All Wisdom and Understanding. I forget sometimes that Jesus understands me....he understands my sin. He fully understood what it would mean when he died on the cross to offered me Grace and Mercy.

Those are my wandering thoughts on forgiveness today. Who knows if they really make any sense at all. That's okay. This little mini study, for me, helped me to remove my focus from the battle in my heart and placed it where it should be...on Jesus. Hopefully now that I have written some of my rambling thoughts out, they will stick with me better....ready for battle on another day.

2..4...6...8...Who Do We Appreciate???

KYLE!!

Kyle...Kyle...He's our man.....if he can't do it no one can!!

Okay...I'll quit the goofiness now. I only take my cue from the man himself. Today is my nephew, Kyle's, birthday. Eleven years ago, today, I had the honor of witnessing his arrival into Planet Earth. I am sure that it would mortify him if I told you all that I saw him naked. So I won't.

Kyle is a pretty neat kid. My only wish is that I lived closer and I could be the "Cool Aunt" I always dreamed to be. He likes us all to think that he is a little shy.....but I think he is just teasing us. He can be quite the little ham. Here....let me show you.

As my mother would say, "The Apple doesn't fall too far from the Tree." In Kyle's instance, I am not sure if the Tree would mean his dad....or my mom....a.k.a.....The Gramminator. Nuf said.

Kyle is an awesome kid. I'm proud to be his aunt. He is a great baseball player....so I've heard. I haven't been fortunate enough to watch him play. But...from what I hear....he could be the next Up and Coming in the world of baseball. I hear that he does pretty good at basketball, too. Though, once again, I've been cheated out of witnessing that, too. He works hard at his homework, is a good student, and last I'd heard his Mom, Dad, Grammy, Papa, Auntie, and Uncle were pretty proud of him

He loves the Denver Broncos. He's even been on TV!!! At least I think it was him....it was some kid with weird, blue and orange hair. Whoever it was, was standing next to my Dad and brother in law. He doesn't seem to mind watching the Boise State Broncos, either. Must be a blue and orange thing. Weird color combo if you ask me!

I enjoy being with Kyle. He is a sweet kid. He is probably going to disown me if he ever sees all the mushy stuff I've written about him. I could go on and on in my tribute. But, I think I will stop now. He may not let me stay in his room at Thanksgiving at the rate that I'm going now. I think I may have to sweeten him up with something. Who knows what I might find in my bed? Yikes.

Sorry, Kyle. Hope I haven't embarrassed you. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday!! I think you are one of the neatest kids around. I love watching you become the man that God has called you to be. I love you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Trunk or Treat: The Results

It is a little late in coming...but the final results for Trunk or Treat are IN!! I would have to rate the evening a whopping 5 star event. It really was a good evening. I was so pleased with how it went. God really did a good job helping that event along. I guess the best way to tell about the evening is to just show it with a few pictures. These are just a few of the highlights.

Luke was a power ranger. Found it at the bargain price of $3.74 at Goodwill. He never could remember what he was....so he was asking me all the time. He loved wearing it. I think he slept in it at least two nights. In the picture he is hording his tickets to turn into prizes. He is the one who gets the most pumped up about the candy and the prizes....but he came home with the least. He just got so excited when he would get a little that he would stop to "rejoice." I am sure that one of these days he will "catch on" that he should collect first....stop to admire later. He definitely did more than admire his candy. I think he ate at least half of his stash that night. Tim was suppose to be on Parent Patrol....but he was too busy taking pictures, I think. After him waking up crying three times that night, I asked Tim yesterday if Luke had eaten anything decent at the party. His reply: "I don't know....I didn't feed him!" Ugh.

Caden was a pirate this year....along with just about every other boy there. It was definitely the popular costume of the year. Once again, I found this at bargain prices at Goodwill. Next year, I think we need to hit that sooner so that we have a better options. Caden was in heaven this night. He came home with the most candy and prizes than probably Daria and Luke combined. He is definitely a horder (like his Mom). He was a man on a mission that night. He was out to collect as much candy and prizes as he could. He only ate ONE piece that night. He was much too busy gathering his booty to stop and enjoy it then. Smart man.

Daria was dressed in a poodle skirt outfit. She looked cute....though not the cutest right there. She had a blast that night. She definitely enjoys a good party. She was helpful setting things up...and cleaning up afterwards. Dad wasn't doing such a good job taking Luke around trunk or treating....so I sent Luke off with her. She seemed glad to do it. The silly girl, though, was too busy to put shoes on to go outside. I had just picked the kids up after school since I was there setting up for the party. She changed into her costume...but chose not to put on her shoes. It had to be below 50 degrees that night....but little girlie went around barefoot. She complained of cold feet...but didn't like my suggestion of putting on shoes. Too busy, I guess. If you notice the blond "girl" next to her....that is our neighbor boy. He is wearing one of Daria's dresses. He made a pretty cute girl! It was so funny. I was amazed he had the courage to do it!

Here I am in the back of my trunk passing out candy. I love that part of the evening. It is when I finally get to stop...and watch all the little kids all dressed up and excited about the candy. I love Trunk or Treats. My kids still get their stash of candy....and I know everyone they are getting them from. Everyone has a great time decorating their cars/trunks for the evening, too. Below are some pictures of a couple of my favorites!

This gal's was fabulous. It is a mine shaft. Didn't she do just great??? She won our grand prize of the evening.....$10 to Papa Murphy's and $5 to Blockbuster!!



This once was pretty great, too. It looks like the car is "alive." When someone would walk by...the trunk would lift and scare the kids. I was parked close to them and I just laughed and laughed.

Here is my friend, Shannon, and I. She was my co-planner of the event. I am so thankful for her creativity and her organizational skills. I have the drive and passion....she has a lot of the knowledge and creativity. I think we work pretty well together. I guess you could say that we are the Queens of Trunk or Treat. (Though...she is really dressed as a fairy.) It really was a great night. Even though, I didn't hardly sleep at all that night....and I am still wiped out....I am already looking forward to next year!!

New Look!!

Hello, Faithful Friends.

I hope that you like my new look. I spent more time than I should have looking for just the right one. Hopefully I will really like this one because Tim spent a fair amount of time helping me alter it. I also lost some info....so I had to add them back in.

If you have any comments or suggestions on how to make it look nice.....please share. I'm kind of lame on "interior design!"

So...thanks to my sweet hubby for my "facelift." Enjoy!

A Day to Rejoice!

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Thankful Thursday has arrived again. Last Thursday, I began reading in my latest Guidepost. It seemed so appropriate that I read that very night an article titled, "The Power of Gratitude" by Stephen Post. He listed 5 health benefits that come from having a grateful spirit. After reading that article, I could hardly wait until today to write another thankful post and share these benefits with you.

1. DEFENDS. Just 15 minutes a day focusing on the things you're grateful for will significantly increase your bodies antibodies. (Come on....kick that nasty cold....give thanks!)
2. SHARPENS. Naturally grateful people are more focused mentally and measurable less vulnerable to clinical depression. (I'll witness to that....Amen!)
3. CALMS. A grateful state of mind induces a physiological state called resonance that's associated with healthier blood pressure and heart rate. (okay, Peace, here I come....)
   
4. STRENGTHENS. Caring for others is draining. But grateful caregivers are healthier and more capable than less grateful ones. (Maybe I can be a better Mom....)
5. HEALS. Recipients of donated organs who have the most grateful attitudes heal faster. (Surely that means others would heal faster, too!)
   

So....what do we have to lose from being grateful? Sounds like nothing to me. So...let's give thanks together!

• I am so thankful that God answered my prayers to keep my mouth in check last night. I was doing the little happy dance last night as I went to bed. My MIT group told me that I needed to give myself a gold star! I think I will just settle with giving God a glorious high five!!!

• I am thankful that the Trunk or Treat was a success. Things really just went nice and smooth. I had more help than I had anticipated with set up...and clean up. We had lots of participation from the church and community. My kids had a blast....and so did I. I think I will have to chalk it up as a complete success.
  

• I am thankful that my kids managed to wake up this morning with no difficulties. We had smiles....and there were no arguments. Praise God!!! Nuf said on that topic!!

So...cheers to another Thankful Thursday. May you take a moment out of your busy day to pamper yourself. Be thankful!