Anybody got an energy boost they could share with me? I so have not been as productive as I needed to be today. I started this post once...wrote two paragraphs and deleted it. All I did was complain...complain...complain. It was just as bad as my kids. Yikes.
As I have restarted this post a gazillion times so that it can be more than a gripe session, I am left contemplating a change of pace for this post. I can see it going two ways: 1) My idea is fabulous, works like a charm, and things seem better; or 2) It will be a complete bust and I be left to fend for myself. So...what to do? My sister says that she hates me hinting at things and then no follow through. Fine. I'll just lay it out there and let the cards fall where they may.
Here is my brilliant Holiday Pick-Me-Up idea. I've always heard that laughter is the best medicine. So, I am in search of some laughter. If you dare...if you are brave enough...I am asking my readers to post some holiday cheer. I would love to see my readers pop out of the woodwork and tell me some funny jokes. I need to laugh. I need to be silly. Please??
So...what do you think? Do you have it in you? Or are you going to leave me high and dry? We shall see. My friend told me the other day that she left a post on my 100th post...and it disappeared into the whateverlands of the internet. Hmmmmm. We can test that theory at the same time.
Okay...I'll start.
- Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the
week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside
their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began
praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..."
"I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..."
"I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and
said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
Where do the Wise Men go to get their robes tailored?
*To Bethle--Hem
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Knock Knock
Who's There?
Wayne.
Wayne who?
Wayne in a Manger.
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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Fozzie.
Fozzie who?
Fozzie hundredth time, would you stay away from the tree?
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Okay...who's next???
3 comments:
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York City two days before Christmas.
"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing," he says. "Forty-five years is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "I'm sick of talking about this, so you can call your sister in Chicago and tell her."
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. " Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts. "I'll take care of this!"
She calls her parents immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing."
The father hangs up his phone and turns to his wife.
"OK." he says, "The kids are coming for Christmas and paying their own way."
Q: Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?
A: Rude-olph.
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Q: What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
A: Comet.
'Kay, I have some!
On a trip together, a Hindu, a rabbi, and a lawyer stop at a farmhouse and ask to stay the night.
"THere's space for two", the farmer said, "but one of you will have to sleep in the barn with my other two animals."
"I'll go," the Hindu volunteers. A few minutes later, the lawyer and the rabbi hear a knock.
"There's a cow in the barn," the Hindu says. "A cow is sacred, and I cannot sleep with a sacred beast."
"No problem, I can do it," the rabbi says, grabbing his pillow. But minutes later, the rabbi knocks on the door.
"THere's a pig in the barn. It's an unclean animal-my belief forbids me to be near such a creature."
With a tired sigh, the lawyer heads out. Almost immediatey, there's a third knock on the door.
It's the cow and the pig.
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Two muffins were sitting in an oven, one turns to the other and says, "You know, it's getting hot in here."
The other muffin screams "OH MY GOSH! A talking muffin!"
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Why did the clown go to the doctor?
He was feeling a little funny.
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What did Tarzan say when he saw an elephant coming?
"Oh look, an elephant."
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What did Tarzan say when he saw the same elephant coming, but with sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognize him.
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How do you put an elephant in a refridgirator?
Open the door and put him in.
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How do you put a giraffe in the refridgirator?
Open the door, take out the elephant, and put the giraffe in.
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God called a meeting with all of the animals, everyone was there except for one animal, who was it?
The giraffe, he was still in the refridgirator. =D
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And of course,
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!!!
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Well, that's all I got. Enjoy!
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