RAMBO MAMA!!

Today, I uncovered Tim's master plan. I think that he is slowly setting himself up to be a "kept" man. He comes across as the I-do-it-all kind of man...but what he is really doing...is setting himself up for the lazy life when he retires. Let me explain my theory here.

He works really hard at his job. At least that is what he wants me to believe. He goes in early and comes home late. He even puts in several hours on Saturdays. He often falls asleep on the couch because he is exhausted. Every once in a while, he asks me to pray for him because his work load is overwhelming.

So, what do I do? I do my best to lighten his load at home. Sometimes I do so willingly....other times I put up a little stink to earn some sympathy points. (Don't be so shocked! I know I'm not the only one!!) Gradually, I find that I am tackling responsibilities around the house that have typically fallen into Tim's realm of responsibility. Today, I cleaned out the gutters. That's right...you read those words correctly....I cleaned out the gutters. (burp! Must still be suffering from whatever ailed me yesterday!)

So...picture me...up on top of the roof of our house...armed with the Big Daddy of all leaf blowers.... a Stihl. I know that leaf blowers have gotten a bad rap over the years....but let me just tell you...they are a wonderful tool. I need to remember that the next time the city workers wake me up at 6:00 in the morning on a beautiful summer morning. In a small amount of time, you can move a lot of crud.

I've been a mite intimidated by Big Daddy Stihl. He has a mighty big roar. Yet, there I was, shaking in my boots, taming the mighty lion. Our neighbor just about fell over when she saw me on the roof. Her 2 year old daughter had traipsed over to our house for a visit and she came to retrieve her. She heard the mighty roar and decided to move. She looked up and.....too funny. Her only comment to me was "Now that is one thing you won't find me doing!" My reply: "Just call me Rambo Mama."

I might have looked tough...but I was really a little nervous. I have horribly visions of falling off the edge and landing not too nicely. I couldn't help but think of my friend's blog about her neighbor's death wish with leaf blowers and roofs. But, I just put a little starch in my underpants and blasted the bejeebers out of the gunk in the gutters. Crud was flying everywhere. What an empowering feeling! Bring it on, Baby! (In retrospect, I think that feeling was just the numbness that was radiating up my arms!)

Now, the chuckle of the afternoon, was when I peeked over the edge of the roof to see Luke dancing in the shower of pine needles that was blowing off the roof. There he was, holding his baseball cap out, twirling in circles, trying to catch as many pine needles as he could. My mama side was shaking my head, thinking of all the dirt and grime that was imbedding itself into his scalp. I envisioned picking pine needles out of his eyes as he glanced up to see where the new shower was falling. Then, the Rambo side of me chuckled and said, "Dance on, Little Man, dance on!"

So, as I stood there, surveying my domain from the pinnacle of my household, I realized Tim's glorious plan. Empower the woman. Give her courage, boldness, and knowledge. Then sit back and relax. But, now that I know the plan, the scheming begins to retake control. That's right, Man. Empower the woman. Give her courage, boldness, and knowledge. Then sit back and....WATCH OUT!!